Dear Dad:

It seems silly to be writing you a letter when you’re right in the next room. But I have to express what I’m feeling somehow, and I’m not sure that either of us could talk about it.

Watching the film “Regret to Inform” tonight made me worry about what happened to you when you were in Vietnam. Did you see those horrible things happen right in front of you? You sat down and watched a little bit of the movie, but it wasn’t long before you got up and went to bed. Was it just because you were tired? Or did it bring back memories you’d rather forget? You always watch movies and read books about World War II. But you didn’t watch this one about your war. Maybe the stuff about WWII helps you understand because everbody thinks of that war as a “good” war. It makes us feel patriotic, and proud to say we defended the world against a monster. Nothing about the war in Vietnam makes us proud. But I am proud of you. You made it home. I read letters written by women who raised their children alone because their husbands were killed. And I heard about the man in the movie who came home but then killed himself. I feel so sad for them, and all the others who suffer because of war. I feel so lucky and thankful that you survived. If your life had not been protected, mine would not have happened. I will work hard, just like you always have, to do as much good as I can with this gift.

You don’t tell stories about combat, saving lives or earning medals. In fact, you don’t say much at all. Not all heroes are honored with ceremonies. You are not a hero for giving your life in war. You are a hero for giving your life to me and Beth, and for giving your life and your love to everyone around you every day. I don’t see glory in war. True glory shines through people like you.

All my love and thanks,

Nicole