The following Featured Post comes from TV Series Group 3, Thread 2.

123. Viennes
Wed, Sep 22, 1999 - 3:19 AM/EST
dana

Viennes, If I understood correctly, you said that you do
not discuss with your children your wish that they
honor being white as well as being black. May I
say with respect that I think you do them a
disservice not to tell them how important it is to
you that they in some way acknowledge you. You're
not just a caucasian, what is the national origin
of your parents? If you're of Irish or English or
German descent, try and get your children
interested in that aspect of their ancestry.
I
think a child can lose him/herself if they don't
acknowledge both parents and honor each of them in
some way. A child shouldn't be allowed go around
hating or denying one half of who they are. Teach
them to be strong and love their whole selves.
Don't let them give into the pressure to be less
than who they are. Very early on I told my
daughter that she was to honor her parentage and

126. Dana
Wed, Sep 22, 1999 - 12:42 PM/EST
viennes

My parents(both passed away within the last 4 years)myself and my brother were born in vienna,Austria,hence viennes.

I will take you're advice and speak to them (without pressure) regarding my concerns.My children(as far as I am aware) don't hate either side of there racial heritage,I have allways taught my children not to hate,it is such a waste of energy, and it demeans who you are as a person.

They do not deny who they are. maybe it's just in my head, and by talking to them about it I may find out that is not founded.

Thank you.

127. atma
Wed, Sep 22, 1999 - 12:56 PM/EST
viennes

I worked in Oakland for approx 20 years(California),as a service advisor in a car dealership.What I found unpleasant there was that white customers (not a lot, but more then I would wish) Would make remarks about black people,and since my chlildren are considered black in this society,I took offense,it is hard to bite you're tongue and speak at the same time,try it some time. For you that don't know Oakland has a large black populace.

128. about kids...
Wed, Sep 22, 1999 - 11:01 PM/EST
artist39

Today I sat in the audience and watched my daughter speak as a member of a panel on racial harmony in Oakland. She spoke with confidence and a strong sense of self. Describing herself as black and Jewish, she was awaesone as she articulated her experieces and observations as a student at Berkekley high school. She talked about the self segregation that exists there, the lack of participation among black students in black studies classes and the African Student's Association, the general state of apathy in a school that offers many opportunites.

There are many despairing realities, but my heart is warmed when I watch my daughter speak with such certinty, feeling good about who she is. As her mother, that is the most I could hope for, her finding her place in the world.

129. ?
Thu, Sep 23, 1999 - 2:49 AM/EST
viennes

How about the fathers race,doesn't matter I guesse,which ever the way the winds blows.

130. viennes
Thu, Sep 23, 1999 - 2:55 PM/EST
artist39

Their father is black, so I guess it matters a lot. I know I am their mother, I gave birth to them. I don't need them to clim one identity or the other to validate my place in their life. The fact of the matter is I am a mother of two black children. Being biracial is nothing new in this country, the only difference is that they have a first generation white parent and the union was voluntary. Now, that is a big difference from raping female slaves, but they are black in this society for all intents and purposes, I am not a passport for them to being white or acessing white priviledge. My kids physically present as black, more so than many people with two black parents.

I often find that the non black parent of biracial children needs to dilute their kids blackness to make them feel more comfortable with having black children. Bottom line is my kids can self idenitfy any way they want, as long as they are prepared for the society they live in, which at this point in time recives tham as black. They are not confused, or fraught with conflict, quite the opposite. They are well connected to my family and have no problems relating to all kinds of folks. So far it seems to be working for our family, I cannot speak for others.

131. \o/
Thu, Sep 23, 1999 - 11:25 PM/EST
beloved

artist39 your children are blessed to have a mother like you.

132. artist39
Thu, Sep 23, 1999 - 11:55 PM/EST
viennes

I screwed up, I am sorry.for some reason I thought that the father was White and you were black,don't ask me why I thought that,I just went by the postings I am guilty of presuming.
I do not wish our children to be considered black or white,I want them to be considered for who they are and not put a label on them,if they should have a label on them like the rest of us have let it be bi-racial,or mixed,not just white or black.

But you do bring up a lot of valid points,and my hat goes of to you for that,you have given me food for thought.

I really don't know if I have a choice in the matter, so it doesn't really matter what I think. but I can accept the facts, however wrong I think they are.

133. viennes/labels
Fri, Sep 24, 1999 - 2:44 AM/EST
atma

I can truly empathize with your sentiment. I would not limit it to just your children though. No one needs to be burdened with a label they did not choose. If they are good people, let them be known as righteous. Let them be known by who they are and not by what someone thinks they look like. But of course, in America, this "great Christian " country, they will be labeled almost instinctually because of how they may present in public. If they "look black" they will be labeled as such and loaded down with all the baggage associated with that identification. If they look asian, they will be treated like "asians". If they look jewish they may be treated a certain way. Every time this happens, the individual is dismissed in favor of the convenient group label. If we don't become more active and educate ourselves and others, we could become like South Africa used to be. Wouldn't that be ironic?

134. atma
Fri, Sep 24, 1999 - 1:52 PM/EST
viennes

I agree.thank you.

135. labels
Fri, Sep 24, 1999 - 2:35 PM/EST
artist39

It is up to each individual not to be "boxed in" by labels or catagories. Perhaps it is our responsibility to defy and resist such efforts. To make choices and live our lives as we so deire and not according to the expectations anad wishes of others. This transends racial or ethnic issues, for we are all burdened by societal expectations. I can recognize myself as a woman, identify as such, but that does not mean i have to accept the sexism or socialization that is attached to being a woman.

There is nothing wrong with being a woman or black or Jewish, and celebrating our differences and identity. The problem comes when the differences are viewed as negative, when our chosen path causes discomfort among the ranks. I like differences, find contrast and diversity enriching. I would hate a world that was bland and the same all over. I find comfort with people who are like minded or who share some of my expereinces as a woman or a Jew or a mother biracial children. I like being connected to different groups for different reasons. That does not mean I cannot relate to other kinds of people, or have nothing to learn from them.
If we could recognize diversity without threat, be enriched by the contrasts, then many of these problems would be eradicated.