|
"The clown, the comic, the humorist. We all know that their gift endows them with the mission to get out and make them laugh, make them laugh, make them laugh. This is a time that sits heavily upon the hearts of all of us, including the clowns. Still they know a simple truth: that wherever there is life, there is humor."
"During that time, the name threw me, like it did many of us. Whoopi Goldberg — it was just different. You know, not the Whoopi part — being a black man, I'm accustomed to nicknames. I got an Aunt Cushion and an Uncle Rabbit. I know a dude named Bucket, and another cat named Candlewheat. So the Whoopi didn't throw me, it was the Goldberg that threw me. I can't say I know a lot of black Goldbergs. I know one Tyrone Goldberg. Takeisha, but everybody call her TiTi. Goldberg. I know RayQuan Goldberg. A member of the Wu-tang Clan."
"Whoopi, you are a strong black woman. You doin' that whole strong- black-woman-thing. Not like the everyday mom, you know. But in the Oprah-type way. You blowing it up! I mean Oscar winner, T.V. producer, comedienne, actor. You're the Center Square for God's sake. Even Oprah can't claim that."
"First time I met Whoopi, she had just caused a sensation on Broadway — directed, as you know, by Mike Nichols. I got a call — I hadn't seen the show — I got a call from Warner Brothers and they said that they were trying to do a film with Whoopi, and would I have an idea and had I seen the show. And I said, "no" but I would.
"And we went that night and I have never, ever seen anything quite so spectacular, never have I seen such drama, such comedic talent. Never have I heard such language in my life. And I was in the Navy for four years.
"At the dinner after the show, we were all seated and Whoopi came in.
I thought I'd break the ice by telling the most obscene story I knew. Everyone laughed, except Whoopi. She got up and walked out. On stage, she was Whoopi! At dinner she was Mrs. Goldberg."
"I swear to you, on Hollywood Squares you have never heard a name bastardized so much as hers. They never get her name right. I'm going to take Hoopi. I'll take Whoppi. I'll take Wahoopi. I'll take Whopot. I'll take Hoopandablock. I'll take Poopy for the win."
"I remember the first time I almost met Whoopi Goldberg. I was a writer on the Chris Rock show and she was the guest for that week. I was so excited about meeting her. I remember that Whoopi was sitting in her dressing room and I walked by, I smiled, Whoopi smiled. You know, I waved, Whoopi waved. And I just stood there 'cuz I didn't know what to do. But Whoopi knew exactly what to do — she got up and closed the door."
"Whoopi is a pioneer, she's a trailblazer. But the only problem is, she blazes the trail, and then takes the damn job. Whoopi works too much. She's taken all the jobs. I know half you all are going y'all don't know me. It's because if Whoopi would take a break every now and then maybe I could get some work. Whoopi you are responsible for the high unemployment rate among the black community. If you would just take a week off, it would drop. I have two tickets for you — please go on vacation! Do something, anywhere! Just let us work, Please!"
 "Here is what I love about Whoopi... in deep sincerity... in all the years I've known her, Whoopi has resisted every attempt they have made to turn her into Diahann Carroll. Now, there's nothing wrong with Diahann Carroll — I adore Diahann Carroll. But for years and years and years, you could not look like Whoopi Goldberg, couldn't talk like Whoopi Goldberg, you couldn't be like Whoopi Goldberg and be on national television — unless you were being arrested in Birmingham Alabama at a lunch counter. And she changed all of that. At that's why tonight, there's some little girl in the projects somewhere, watching this show, thinking to herself, Hey she did this, I can do this. And, for that reason alone I'm in her stead."
|
