Washington Week: Student Voices (O)

UC-Davis hosts discussion on interracial relationships
By Sawsan Morrar
The California Aggie (UC-Davis)
03/10/2006

(U-WIRE) DAVIS, Calif. — Do many people accept interracial couples? Do many people date interracially? University of California at Davis sophomore Megan Forcum had her questions answered Wednesday night at an interracial relationships discussion.

"People would say that interracial relationships don't work and that they end up in divorce," Forcum said. "I wanted more background to see the statistics myself."

In fact, there weren't any significant statistics to prove that claim.

According to Asian American studies professor Caroline Valverde, who led the discussion, the rate of divorce in interracial relationships is only slightly higher than others.

The discussion included how people select partners, why some choose partners outside their race and debunked myths regarding interracial marriages.

Valverde said many people choose their partners based on their own prejudice and with influence from laws, society and the media.

"Your parents tell you not to date certain groups," she said, "or you yourself won't date certain groups. There is very little about mixed races on the media, so your idea of picking a mate is influenced by this."

She also said many think they are avoiding conflict by not dating someone from different races, when in fact conflicts arise from culture, gender, class and personal differences rather than racial ones.

One theory that sparked student interest in the crowd was the "Exchange Theory," by which people subconsciously expect an exchange of assets when finding a partner.

"Subconciously, you know who gets the resources and you know who gets the privileges," Valverde said. "So when you pick a partner, you are going to choose someone that will help you. If you think tall people are treated better in society, you will choose someone tall."

The same goes for race, she said.

"If a black man is successful and accomplished, he might pick a white woman so there is an exchange of resources going on," she said.

Some minorities argue that if people become accomplished, then they should provide for their own kind — assisting their own community rather than other ones.

Forcum said she understands this, but does not agree. Her boyfriend didn't tell his mother about his relationship until months later, admitting that she wouldn't like the fact that she was white.

"My boyfriend's mom is a single woman," she said. "She raised him all by herself, and I understand why she would feel that way, but I don't agree. Now I have an idea of where she is coming from."

Forcum said she hopes people will learn to accept her relationship for what it is.

"I love him very much," she said. "I can't change the color of my skin."

Valverde told students that oftentimes parents object to their children's interracial dating patterns because they themselves were involved in an interracial relationship and recall all the struggles they went through. She reminded students that they should continue to look past race and look at who the person is.

"Race is not a biological construct," Valverde said, "it's a social construct. One day you can be this, the next day you can be that."

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