Washington Week: Student Voices (O)

Children face problems without Army father
By Rebecca Perez
Kansas State Collegian Kansas State U.
May 09, 2008

Angelique Stevens was left at home with her two children, Erin and Thomas, when her husband Michael left for Iraq in February 2007. At first, Angelique was the only one who was upset, but within a few months of her father leaving, though, Erin started to develop behavioral problems.

Angelique was called to her daughter's school after she bit another girl. Soon after, Angelique was called to the school again, but this time for her son.

Angelique's son, Thomas, had been at a friend's house playing when Thomas and his friend decided to play pirates. The boys decided to pretend to hang one of the pirates, which led to Thomas having a red mark on his neck.

The next day, Thomas decided to make up a story to tell his classmates when asked about the red mark on his neck. He told his friends his mom had choked him for misbehaving.

Angelique got a call asking her to come in because there was a problem with Thomas. She was confronted by police when she got there.

She was able to explain the situation by calling the father of the boy Thomas had been playing with, and she was no longer in trouble.

This led to counseling for the entire family within 24 hours of Thomas' incident. Angelique said she was "at her wits' end."

"The counseling didn't help all that much," Angelique said. "The therapist said that everything was normal. I really think the support group they had at school did more good than the counseling.

"I told the kids after the session was over that it was all right to be sad and angry, but it's not all right to take it out on other people."

She said even little signs of the children's father helped.

"The kids really started feeling better once they got a letter from Dad. Then we took a long vacation over the summer, and that really helped as well," she said.

Now that Michael is back from Iraq, Angelique said the kids are ecstatic.

"I think it's great to have my dad back," Thomas said. "I get to spend more time with him. I didn't have anyone to do things with. The place was always full of girls. I feel happy to have my dad home, but he could really use a vacation. We only have five days left of school, and then we are going on a road trip to Florida."

Michael's daughter said she was equally excited.

"I loved my dad coming home, but it was also sad because we had to get rid of our dog, Indy," Erin said.

Indy was a rescue dog the Stevens got after Michael left for Iraq. When Michael came home, Indy tried to bite him. The family learned the dog did not like Michael, so Indy had to be taken to a shelter.

"It was hard that I couldn't see my dad for a year, but then [his deployment] got extended to 15 months," Erin said. "The support group at school was nice because you could tell your feelings and get them out instead of keeping them trapped inside. Mrs. Hardy (a teacher) would ask us questions about how often our parents called."

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