June 24, 1845
Dearest Martha,
I remarked to him [Colonel Dillon, Martha's father] that I had called to speak to him upon a subject that might probably surprise him, that I was ardently attached to his daughter and wished to beg his consent to make her my wife. During this brief prologue, your Father who had been walking back and forth, approached the piano and filled a glass with water; whilst thus engaged I could perceive that slight, yet significant shake of the head peculiar to him, which told me so much of my fate as lay in his hands, was sealed. "Well, this is a matter which cannot be decided hastily; though I am afraid Mr. Eads that I can give you no encouragement." "I have several objections to make, though not one, personally for I esteem you very much having always found you polite and respectful, and I value your friendship. But in selecting a husband for my daughter I must see that a man knows how to make money, for if he can't make it and save it when he is young, he never will, and I don't know that you can show any evidence of it.""It is true you are very young yet, and have plenty time to rise in the world, and I have not doubt there are many families who would be proud to form a connection with you -- but I must speak plain to you Mr. Eads, I will acknowledge to you that I am an ambitious man and am anxious to unite my daughter (I give his own words,) to some one of the families of the highest standing in the country," -- again I tried, whilst my blood boiled for an instant, that many of the heads of these families at my age had prospects not so fair as mine but he proceeded. "I am an ambitious man, I wish to marry my daughter to a man that has a name, although you are young and may rise as high as any. Besides I think you are too young for Martha. You have plenty time to think of marrying some years hence, and will no doubt rise." Here he made several very flattering remarks relative to the good character which I have always borne among my acquaintances. "And there is another matter" he continued without intermission, "that I want everyone to understand who may wish to marry Martha, and that is, that she will not receive a cent until my death." I replied that I consider you a fortune of yourself and that I wished nothing more, as I was fully competent to support you without the assistance of any one. "Yes, yes," said he, "all that is very pretty, and is just what I would have said myself in your situation." I interrupted him by telling him the probable amount that I was worth, and remarked that although I had loved you several years, yet I never even hinted the subject to you until recently, when I was satisfied that I was able to support you in society you are so eminently fitted to adorn. "There is another matter," continued he, "that I am very much opposed to; that is families living together although I must say that I admire your course in taking care of your parents; but Martha is a girl who would put up with a great many things which she would not like, without saying a word. …
May God in his infinite mercy guard you from all harm, and bring this matter speedily to that happy crisis, which will consign you to the arms of him whose greatest pride, and most exquisite pleasure, will be to love, honour and cherish you.
James
July 5, 1845
My Dear Cousin James,
I will say then, that should I be fully satisfied that he is not to be changed, in the meantime, I will leave my present home, for another, towards the latter part of November. You do no know what an effort it costs me to write this. Were I, alone, concerned I would not think of marrying in less than a yearBut it is right that, insomuch as it is consistent with duty, I should consult your happiness too …
Yours truly - Martha
August 12, 1845
National Hotel, Washington City
Dearest Martha,
In [large glass] cases are models of every machine and implement you can possibly imagine from a steam engine down to a baby's whistle. Aye! a baby's whistle; there it lay with its pearl handle alongside of a model of a locomotive with its card attached upon which were the words 'A model of a child's whistle designed and patented by' somebody of somewhere I forget; but for Cousin Charley's benefit I remember the plan and I have no doubt he will infringe the patent when I tell him of it. Capital for cutting teeth.
From this floor you ascend by a spiral flight of white marble steps to the National Gallery, and here is a sight which makes the warm blood of an American bound with pride through his veins, as he surveys the magnificent saloon with its curious and multifarious contents. Earth, Air, and Sea have been ransacked to yield the tribute here. The wonders of the world brought home by the Exploring Expedition are here shown to the curious spectator. You would think there was at least a ship load of them. The identical press at which Franklin worked in London as a journeyman printer one hundred and twenty years ago, is there. The suit worn by Genl Washington when he resigned his commission at Annapolis 23rd December 1783 to Congress there. The camp chest containing the cooking and eating utensils round which the Hero and his noble companions have sat whilst eating their scanty meal. Imagine, for you can imagine and I cannot describe, the feelings which swell within the breast while viewing this plain little set of furnitureI could spend five days at the Patent Office and find something new and interesting every day.
August 22, 1845
Indeed, dearest Martha, I sometimes, when I am in deep reflection, with my head upon my pillow, fear that I may in after years, act like some other men, and treat my wife far less kindly than a heart as confiding and affectionate as yours so richly merits….
September 2, 1845
…You cannot imagine how anxious I am to see you again. It seems like an age since I parted with you. If I had but one dear kiss from your sweet lips tonight, I could go to rest contented. Though were I now with you, it would be difficult to count how many fervent, burning ones I should give you. And speaking of kissing, I have thought frequently of late, what a miserable being I should be with a wife who was not fond of kissing. Do you think there are any such Martha? And if there are, do you think they are fit to be wives? I do not…
Forever devotedly yours,
James
September 11, 1845
[The letter to my father] was very long -- the first part giving him a plain statement of my promise to you and my determination to abide by it, the next entering into and endeavoring to refute his objections; and the rest containing an exposition of my feelings as regarded it in relation to him, and the prayer that he would still continue to treat me kindly while I was under his roof, even should he persist in refusing his approbation of the marriage. I handed it to him just as I was going to Church; and knew nothing further concerning it until I saw it laying on my writing table the next morning -- Mama [her step-mother Eliza who was also James's first cousin] then told me that he read only about a page and a half; when he put it down, saying it was no use to read any more, as he never would consent…
Good-night -- good-night --
Ever your affectionate Cousin,
Martha N. Dillon
