The Disappearance of Pollyanne Fishenchips
Interrogate the Suspects
I was on the terrace reading Conrad's splendid "Heart of Darkness" when I heard my once beloved Squeezy talking with the nefarious Doctor. I've suspected him of trying to steal my Squeezy, so I burst into the Morning Room to give him a shake of my fist. That's when I heard Pollyanne's last words: "Squeezy's a two-timing fortune-hunter." I suspected as much.
I soon after left the Morning Room. Disappointed, I was. After a short while, I grew weary and retired to my Private Study. My sister took the cat out with her to give me peace. My, heart, you see. And now she's dead. . . (sob, sob) Murdered, no doubt!
So you want to hear of the drama preceding Pollyanne's dastardly disappearance! Well, I will tell you. I was in the Morning Room discussing nothing of consequence with the bothersome Dr. Taylor-Russell. Pollyanne was there, too.
In walks Lord Snuffington. Pollyanne then took off for the Drawing Room. Graham and I followed; Lord Snuffington returned to the terrace.
From the Drawing Room we trailed Pollyanne into the Private Study. Brambleton said Pollyanne flew to the Terrace. But Lady Snuffington was out there and never saw her at all. How utterly strange!
Meow !
There isn't much to tell, I'm afraid. I was playing a game of darts waiting for Lady Snuffington to join me. Well, without warning, in flies Pollyanne who doesn't even stop to say hello and takes off like a bat to the Terrace.
Bittles and Graham rushed in looking for the bird, so I told them she flew out onto the Terrace. Lady Snuffington came in from the Terrace to see what all the fuss was about. She hadn't seen Pollyanne. The three of them headed out to the Terrace. There's no more to tell, I'm afraid.
If I must, I will answer your silly queries. I and Squeezy were in the Morning Room discussing Ms. Bittles recent marriage to Lord Snuffington--her activities were no secret to me. I told her, and I quote verbatim, "Squeezy, you're a two-timing fortune-hunter."
And good gracious, sitting quietly in the corner, was Pollyanne! She begins parroting my words, saying, "Squeezy, you're a two-timing fortune-hunter." The absurdity of it! Lord Snuffington then appears in the doorway, his timing impeccable. Squeezy charged Pollyanne, to shut her up, I presume. The bird fled to the Drawing Room and then, I imagine, to the Private Study. We followed, but she was nowhere to be found. Brambleton said Pollyanne fled to the Terrace, so we looked there. Good riddance to the loudmouth, that's what I say.
I'm Oxford-educated, as you know Inspector, yet I must tell you: I haven't a clue as to Pollyanne's fate. I was reclining on the terrace, perusing a book about the Double-breasted, ring-tailed Tolimantia bird of Bontoozi when Lord Snuffington stepped out from the Morning Room.
"Have you seen Pollyanne?" he asked.
I told him: "Gracious, no!" I heard some commotion in the Private Study, so I went inside, leaving the Lord to himself, and found Brambleton, Squeezy and Graham there. We three then went back outside, Brambleton following shortly. I went back into the Private Study shortly thereafter; the cat followed. Soonafter, when my brother came in to rest, I took the cat back out to the Terrace. Let me add: If Pollyanne has met a foul end, the abominable perpetrator should pay, I say, and pay dearly!
