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The Whole Child
Building Inner Controls:
Do's and Don'ts
abc's of child development
for parents
for early care providers
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Article


Do's and Don'ts
Dos and Don'ts

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Things to Remember
  • Give your children real choices when appropriate but remember, not everything is a choice. Sometimes you have to set the limits for children. Make sure your children understand when they do not have a choice.

  • When a crisis occurs, be sure to put your child's feelings into words for him as well as you can. If your child knows that you know how he feels, he won't have to keep showing you how he feels. Let your child decide when he is calm and can return to the activity or situation. You can stay with your child and help him be successful.

    Things to Avoid

  • Avoid giving your child a choice when she doesn't really have one; for example, adding "okay?" to a question to make it sound more polite.

  • Avoid giving your child a false choice, like offering a choice but then manipulating him into doing what you want.

  • Try not to lose your own self-control. Children learn more from watching what you do than from listening to what you tell them. If you yell or hit, your child will learn that's the way to handle anger.
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    The Whole Child     ABCs of Child Development     For Parents     For Early Care Providers