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Bells NY I am currently in Hospice care and it has been a blessing to help me deal with death. I believe God is in control, but my joy comes from sharing the lives of my family as I die. It is hard to express what I feel at times and I don;t think anyone knows what we feel when dying until they experience it themselves. David Texas I feel like I learned quite a bit from the program this week. As a person with a brother who has been diagnosed with Lung Cancer as a terminal illness I am glad to have some idea as to what he and his immediate family will be going through. I live 7 hours from my brother's family and would like to know what kind of support I could offer that would be helpful to them. Julie Oklahoma I just finished watching the final program. I wondered if I could find out how other people are coping with the reality of their own mortality. I watched both my parents and one adopted daughter go through the dying process. I didn't physically see any of those loved ones die; but I did make arrangements, I was there for family and friends of the family. My adopted daughter is the one that I can't get over. Margaret Texas What a wonderfull presentation, As a survivor of multiple Near Death Experiences (NDEs) and a caregiver for 20 years having had over 60 people die in my care, Many in my arms, I am deeply excited and delighted to see this forum open for "raising the consciousness" of our comunity about the issues around dying. I have reached the conclusion that the best thing we can each do is learn to DIE DAILY. This is taught in so many cultures and is the basis of my daily morning rituals. Any one else feel this way? Brother Phoenix Texas I realize that there are hidden "gifts" in being a caregiver, there are feelings of acceptance, forgiveness, reconciliation that surface that perhaps have never before been possible. I was my mom's caregiver in 1993 and struggled with guilt over feeling tired, angry and frustrated. After hearing the testimonials tonite, I realize those feelings are perfectly normal. I feel a certain amount of satisfaction from having been the caregiver for my mom who shared a kind of rocky relationship with me. All this dissolved while caring for her. Margaret TX I agree with several panel members that no one knows what happens after death. I was raised a devout christian but my life experiences have left me a devout atheist. I don't belive in taking away anyones hope for an after life but I can see that belief in something better on the other side can also have very negative and damaging effects on this one. I am a physician of 20 years. I recently saw a 16 year old boy for suicidal ideations. He had been in a car accident recently where his good friend had been killed. He was a christian and believed in a better world to follow. He wanted to go there, NOW! In general I believe that organized religion is trying to help people be happier in this life but I believe it is ludicrous to continue to encourage people to "be good" so they can hedge their bets on an afterlife. I believe that just as religion have evolved over the millenia it is continuing to evolve in the direction that man is intelligent enough to be able to live a civil, "moral" life with ou Ken MT I'm the full-time caregiver for my father, who is 90. He has been sick and needs full-time care but I am having trouble finding people to help out. It makes me feel trapped in my home. I want to have a life of my own but it's hard. Kathryn Colorado As a member of the clergy I applaud the show. Well done. Our culture is afraid to talk about death and dying. I have been around so many people who need to resolve issues while they are dying. Some were successful while others were not. The one issue I wish could have been discussed was the use of 'Brompton's Mixture" which is used in England but is not legal in US because it has Cocaine. My arguement is does not a person need the quality of life pain free to be able to do the last minute trip, discussions with families without having the pain? Can a person obtain the mixture in an underground network? John MN After watching all the series, which I found very informative; I think I am more aware of what is avail- able to the person dying and the care giver. I also know what to expect if I am the person dying. I have checked with my insurance to see if it provides for hospice should either my husband or myself need it. They said they only provide for the care I would recieve at hospice and not the care in my own home. But that is better than nothing. Neither I nore my husband is old enough for Medicare and we have to much to qualify for Medicade. I still feel unsure of how I will feel about dying when the time comes for me. However if my husband should need care there is no doubt that if I am at all physically able I will care for him to the best of my ability and then some. I do believe that we are just passing through this life which is preparing us for our next life. And I do believe that Jesus died for all of us and that He has prepared a place for all of us and that we should welcome death. It is the not knowing what it will feel like to pass over that kind of makes us somewhat scared. Thank you for all the hard work everyone put into this program to help open the eyes of everyone and help them think about dying and living life to it's full- est. Betty Ohio Thank you, thank you to Bill Moyers and PBS. This series has brought to light a subject that has been, for the most part, taboo and shoved in a dark closet away from the light. Death is as much a part of living as living itself. I lost my mother about 2 months ago. I was honored to have been able to care for her for about 18 months prior to her passing. She and I have talked about death and dying for many years, and had given me a Medical Power of Atty. to speak for her when she wasn't able. She had her affairs in order and her wishes were very well known by me. We need to address the issue of what our very personal preferences are regarding our final days. Embrace your loved ones, discuss their wishes and yours while you are able. Put them on PAPER so there will be no questions when it is time. Discuss with your physician what you want. Most of all -- tell your loved ones how valuable and special they are NOW, while you can. God bless you PBS for this very important special. Jan Arizona Being a Christian the Bible says thru the words of Jesus " you nust be born again" and with this thought it became aware to me that I would die and with that I realized, having a limited time on earth, I wanted to make the most of it and LEARN, EXPERIENCE and SHARE. I therefore got involved with spiritual seminars,sharing and receiving much as tonight. In 1967 I traveled to Europe and met on that trip a person assigned to explore the FAMILY in ITALY by the US Goverment which more than amazed me however I have heard nothing about the findings since. Having family there I am aware of the family and the part it plays in living and dying. I find that the family who takes care of their elderly normal, and not unusual, as it was set forth in your program. Our government should do all it can to assist the family !!!The family should anticipate the possibility of having to care for their elderly and the government leaders should, by example lead the way. Actually the family is the key, which is what I Bob Arizona The afterlife still remains a mystery to me. Even after hearing the rabbi tonight andthe Buddhist professor , it seems that no one really has the answer as to whether there is an afterlife. We really don't know. People just read a lot, and think a lot about these issues but neither of the speakers seem to really "know" about the afterlife. I think we'll know only after we die if there is an afterlife. Amy San Jose, Calif. Thank you for such a positive, compasionate and motivating series! As a 53 year-old women, without birth children, AND an extended family of 10 nieces and nephews, 9 god-children, 2 step-daughters (by my second marriage) and 4 grand-children, I understand, and have made provision, for FAMILY for me...Certainly the best compliment that I have ever received is that I taught one of my best friends how to love some else's child -- this is a gift and an opportunity that is hugely under-visible in our society. Another way to describe the same phenomenon comes from my business school education -- a diversified portfolio financially is deemed essential; I can't ever recall hearing discussion of an emotionally and/or age-diversifed portfolio! As we baby-boomers grow older, we need to teach ourselves new skills and concept! I think that public television, with your excellent leadership and thoughtfulness, could help! Most importantly, THANK YOU for an EXCELLENT series! With affection and respect, Michaela CA I am an RN and have watched all four episodes including the discussions. I became a RN before there was ever CPR, and I still work full time in an acute care hospital. All four episodes only reinforced what I have come to believe. For I have yet to see machines do anything but prolong the dying process and causing more emotional and quite often financial hardship for family members and other loved ones. It often becomes clear to the nursing staff, when a patient is ready to pass. We have seen patients pull tubes and IVs out, and they indicate many times to the nursing staff that they do not want them. When possible we honor their wishes. Most of us will try to accommodate the family to the best of our ability. I hope that these programs will help families to accept what is happening to their loved one and will help them to deal with the over all situation. I also can not emphasize enough the importance of having an Advance Directive. The more specific that it is, the better. As seen in one of the programs it is not a "cure all". But it goes a long way, especially if at the same time you make your wishes known to your family, your doctor, and to the person(s) given the limited power of attorney for medical care. Always keep the original with your legal papers and carry copies with you and make sure that your family members have copies of it and your doctor. Barbara CA While finding this program somewhat hard to watch. I am just now being faced with some pain management issues. I think I will go about dicussing this differently with my physician. Like all I do not fear death, but the long slow painfully process involved. I want to be sure my wishes are carried out. Hearing that so many died peacefully helped immensly. It reminds you , that you are not alone in this battle. The human spirit fights as long as it can, we need to acknowledge when that time is over and learn to accept. With medical personnel such as the compassionate Physicians and health care workers,, Hospice Nurses, I think this can be possible. God bless them all. My faith is strong, have not stopped fighting yet, but know I am at yet another transition point ( of which there are many) It is also reafirming in a strange way, they each of us has our own way of comming to terms with and dealing with our death. I certainly agree this needs to be taught to new Drs to preform to the best of their ability. Thank you for an excellent series----one that needs presenting. I am working on my own fight to bring Lung Cancer the awareness it so deserves and is NOT getting at this time. I will continue to do so as long as I am able. Linda Wa. i'm searching for answers. i would be interested to hear about the moslem faith and the afterlife. KJ MI Unfortunaley, I only saw part of the series, On our Own terms, and I am hoping that it will be televised again. I found it extremely informative and enlightening, this is not meant to be a strange choice of words. I have been a Palliative Care Volunteer for three years. Our group in our small town of 6,000 is extremely active and becoming more so. Each of us took a ten week course and ongoing workshops etc. Some of us are retired nurses, school teachers and so forth. I do wish I had seen all of the series. Is there any likelihood of this happening in the near future as I would like to inform our team about it as I know they would be extremely interested,? This is a wonderful series and I hope, watched by millions of viewers. Rebecca Ontario, Canada The program created this burning question: Whether an atheist or of a particular religious faith; and you pursue a righteous and moral life; upon arrival at the "after-life"; you are greeted by the former despots of life's society. i.e. Serial and other murderers; rapists; tyrants; etc. Whereas many religions teach that repentance prior to death will give you this perk. Why not pursue a life of sin until it it time to go? Bill FL Thank you for this marvelous serie. It has been a great comfort to me and my family. We choosed to take my mother with us at home and assured her that she will die home. Sometimes, it's difficult. I learnt a lot through your serie and it will really make a difference for numerous peoples around us. I knew intuitively since my childhood that death is as important as life, and for that, has sometime been accused of morbidity. Everybody has a right to die with dignity and peace. How come it has not been written in our Charts? Thanks to everybody who has been part of this 8-hours program. Marie-Colette Quebec, Canada PS. I am not perfectly bilingual, so excuse my faults please. Please note this area is designed as an informal discussion area. If you are looking for help, there are many useful links in our Resources section. |
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