Jeffrey Ross: I roasted Jerry Lewis at the Friars’ Club.  And at first I didn’t wanna do it.  And the roast master called me up– in L.A.  I was in L.A. at the time.  Richard Belzer called me up.  He said, “Who the hell are you to say no to Jerry Lewis?  This is the last time you’re gonna have to roast a legend like Jerry Lewis.  Get your ass on a plane.  Do it for me.  Do it for Jerry Lewis.  Do it for yourself.  This is a huge, huge comedy icon.  You gotta come out and roast Jerry Lewis.”  So I do.  And I’m writing jokes for days, getting– ’cause you– you know, you gotta bring your A game when you’re roasting a legend like that.  And to his credit, he was a great sport.  I said– I said, “Jerry Lewis was huge in France.  Then again, they don’t even know when they stink.”  The one thing they said was, “You know, Jerry’s very sort of– sensitive about doing jokes about, you know, muscular dystrophy.  And could you stay away from that?”  That’s all I have to hear, you know.  I’m going right for it. But if you’re saying it to his face, somehow it’s okay.  And I said– I sorta slowed it down.  I had my sorta rat-a-tat-tat delivery.  And I took a deep breath and I said, “You know what, Jerry?  A lotta people make fun of you, but they don’t talk about the good things that you do.  What about the fact that just this past Labor Day a six year-old kid got up out of his wheelchair and walked for the first time to turn off the Jerry Lewis Telethon?”  The subject that they told me not to talk about was the biggest laugh I got, the biggest smile that Jerry made the whole day.

Larry Gelbart: If you want to hear my favorite George Burns story, one of my first writing partners was a man named Sid Dorfman. And when Sid and I ended our association, Sid went to work with George Burns and he worked for Burns for about seven or eight years and then, he finally handed in his notice to George’s brother Willy and Willy said, “George is gonna want to talk to you.” So when he talked to George, George said, “Sit down Sid. I understand you’re leaving.” And he said, “Yes I am George.” And he said, “You know, Gracie and I love you as a son.” And Sid who had a very low tolerance for any sentimentality, he, he, his eyes went to the floor. And George said, “The son we never had.” He said, “It’s not like someone’s leaving the staff. It’s like someone’s running away from home. And Sid,” and George finally said, “Sid, if you don’t look at me, I can’t work.” He just never stopped being in show business.