With plumage of intense and other-worldly colors, deployable regal crests, and behavior that ranges from coy to maniacal, parrots have little trouble attracting our attention. But what traits fare best for these birds when their goal is inspiring love in potential parrot mates? Is a parrot sexy in the eyes of other parrots because it is a good provider, attentive, talented, or beautiful?

Of the parrots’ many qualities, colorful plumage is surely its most spectacular: blue and gold; red and green; blue, yellow, green, orange, red. These brilliant colors are not just splashed on these birds; they’ve soaked right through. It would seem that the fantastically gorgeous plumage of parrots would be obvious sexual attractants for mates. But when the would-be mate is flying the same colors, how sexy is that? In fact, 75 percent of parrots species are classified as sexually monomorphic, which means that males and female resemble each other physically.

It turns out that it’s not just color but the intensity of feather color that can be a turn-on to a prospective mate. Color intensity signals good health, immunity, parental care abilities, and breeding success — all key things to know if you’re in the market for a mate. In a study of wild Burrowing Parrots in Patagonia, Argentina, researchers found that the more intensely red the abdominal feathers on the parrots were, the better was their success in breeding.

Color intensity is a physical characteristic that we, as humans, can observe. But research shows that while male and females parrots of the same species look similar to us — they look different to each other. A parrot’s highly sensitive tetrachromatic avian eye can see the entire UV spectrum, while we only perceive light in the near-ultraviolet spectrum. So there’s a whole world of fluorescent color that a parrot’s eyes can visualize that our humans eyes just can’t.

Budgerigars have yellow fluorescent plumage on their crowns and cheeks. To determine if the fluorescent patches are used in courtship displays, researchers covered the crown feathers of male and female birds with sunscreen, limiting their ability to absorb UV light. Other male and female budgies spent more time courting “glowing” companions, ignoring those with dulled feathers. What the study showed was that the more a suitor glowed, the more alluring it was to a prospective budgie mate.

But don’t get the wrong idea: in the parrot world, mating is not based on looks alone. Some parrots appreciate “talent” or showmanship in a mate. In the kakapo’s mating system, the males go to a prominent location, such as a hilltop, and create a courtship area known as a lek, or a group of bowl-like indentations dug in the ground. When the males gather, they compete for the best spots, and then begin calling for the females. The male mating call is a very loud, low booming sound that can be heard for several miles. The booming goes on all night, every night, for as long as several months. At the same time, the males spread their wings and do a hopping dance. When females show up, they pick out the best boomers and hoppers for one blissful night of mating.

It should come as no surprise that music can woo a female. A good, strong singing voice in the bird world indicates good health, strong immunity, and a successful partner. But a study of budgerigars found that while a female appreciates vocal abilities, she actually prefers to mate with a male who sounds like her.

Glowing plumage, fancy moves, and a beautiful singing voice go a long way toward attracting a mate, but nothing says sexy to parrots like regurgitation. Though sometimes used as a reward for sex, many parrot species use food regurgitation as a part of the courtship ritual. Parrot couples exchange food, and thus information, on the quality of mate. A healthy amount of regurgitation tells the female that the courter can provide for her and her brood if she decides to choose him.

Those vibrant colors, beautiful voices, and fancy crests may all look like mere adornments to us, but to a parrot, they’re clues about a potential mate’s overall fitness, genetic superiority, and superior traits for survival. Just like with humans, in the parrot world, “sexy” takes many forms.

The praying mantis, black widow spider, and jumping spider are among a number of species that devour their mates. Sexual cannibalism is also found in other invertebrates, including a relative of the praying mantis, the Chinese mantis, and scorpions. Cannibalism has also been noted among South American green anacondas — the largest snakes in the world.

Female black widows are perhaps the most notorious “mate munchers.” Males have to place themselves between the female’s fangs to get in the right position for mating, and are sometimes devoured upon completing their assignment. Clearly this eight-legged femme fatale has earned the name “black widow.”

Female jumping spiders can also be dangerous lovers. To attract a mate, male jumping spiders do a complicated courtship dance, and if their performance is flawed, they are not just rejected — they are also liable to end up as dinner.

A female praying mantis devours her mate.

Despite the “bad ends” at which males find themselves, it doesn’t seem to deter them from trying to reproduce. To the contrary, the continuation of the species is proof positive that death by sex is a successful evolutionary strategy. By surrendering themselves to their mates, males achieve the goal of mating — passing on their genes.

Male redback spiders, for example, are equipped to pass on their genes even in the throes of death because they have two sexual organs that allow them to survive cannibalism long enough to mate twice.

For bachelor biting midges, cannibalism also makes evolutionary sense. The National Wildlife Federation reported that during mating a male’s genitals break off, while he is still clasped onto the female midge. While the bachelor may not live after sex, he blocks future matings and knows his sperm will make it.

But a closer look at sexual cannibalism reveals that not all animals will succumb to feisty females, and some go to great lengths not to be eaten. Male golden orb spiders endeavor to avoid becoming dinner by attempting to mate with females as they are eating something else. But, they still may end up as dessert.

Fear not guys — it’s not do or die for all males in the animal kingdom. Some animals just have to practice their push-ups.

Geladas, close cousins of baboons, will show off their passion-flushed pectorals, and lizards will do push-ups for their chance to “score.”

But sometimes finding a mate is not as simple as getting in tip-top shape. When it comes to mating, critters go to great lengths in order to attract and keep their partners.

In fact, there are almost as many ways to find a mate and reproduce as there are numbers of species, including chimps that cook up tasty jungle feasts of papaya for their chimp ladies and squid which mate ALL day long.

Even snails engage in the mating game, and they are hermaphrodites, which means they possess male and female reproductive organs. When it’s time to mate, snails activate a “love dart,” and shoot sperm at each other, which is full of mucus and hormones.

Now, it’s your turn to play a hand in the mating game: Try decoding the language of animal love and figuring out which species goes with which mating ritual.

Pick-up Tricks Quiz: Guess Who?

1. It takes two to tango: These inhabitants of the sea are best known for their “mating dance.” Couples swim together and hold tails — matching each other’s movements. The male curls his tail around her torso, and they tango. She, in a twist-and-turn maneuver, manages to transfer the eggs to his pouch, by the way, where they are fertilized and carried to term.

2. Breakfast in bed: Even jungle critters have wooing tricks to get their lady friends “in the mood.” When a male is ready to mate, he will capture an insect in his web and wrap it in silk. When he spots a female he wishes to mate with, he offers her this feast. While the female is distracted by her five-star meal, the male will mount her and begin mating.

3. Kiss-kiss-kiss: The only species besides humans to kiss. Before actually mating, male and female birds will lock beaks and gently flick their tongues together. The males will then regurgitate the food for their mates as a sign of affection. Different strokes for different flocks.

4. Not Scents-ible: These macho mammals attract mates by marking territory, beginning with urinating and defecating at the same time. Then, they do a propeller-like twist to spread the mess in every direction. Once the “romantic act” attracts a lover, the pair begin foreplay and splash around in the water to get in the mood before they get down to business.

5. The Rhapsody Of The Everyday: This male attracts a mate with its tail feathers. Once noticed, he will treat his intended to a repertoire of sounds that would make a symphony orchestra pale by comparison. These expert mimics reproduce a huge range of sounds from their environment. In this day in age, that includes not only the sound of nature, but technology and urban noises, such as mobile phones, pulsing car alarms and even clicking cameras.

See the Answers »

While gossip columnists may have full reign over the sex lives of Hollywood stars, scientists have invaded the habitats of some of the most infamous cheating animals to reveal some real life monkey business. Today’s red carpet headline: “Free-spirited bonobos seek perpetual orgies with any available male or female in any combination.”

In the animal kingdom, when it comes to mating, promiscuity is the rule rather than the exception. About 90 percent of mammals have multiple mates, and cheating on social mates is observed in almost all species. In fact, only 3 to 10 percent of mammals are even socially monogamous.

We’ve identified some animals with unusual mating practices and behaviors. Find out why these animals are such hot commodities and why evolution favors their promiscuous behavior.

It’s the planet’s awful truth worth gossiping about.

Think you have a good sex life? Think again.

Check out these swingers and how they make the scene:

1. Fire-colored Beetles and Lightning Bugs Black Light Rave: Fire-colored beetles sometimes use toxic substances as aphrodisiacs. The male entices his mate by presenting a chemical offering known as cantharidinan, which is secreted from a gland in his head. More of the chemical is transferred to the female beetle in the male’s sperm. And she, in turn, transfers the chemical to her eggs, which are protected by the chemical from predators. And, talk about incredible diversity of approaches to sex — there are female lightning bugs that have one flash pattern to attract males of their own species with which to mate, and another that mimics the pattern of a different species. The false come-on is a trap — any males of the other species that respond are eaten.
2. Honey Bee Queens Reign Supreme: In hives, females rule. Early in a queen’s life, she makes several mating flights and can mate with anywhere from one to more than 40 drones. When a queen flies by, the males mob her, deposit their sperm, and then subsequently die. While the drones may not appreciate this lethal affair, the worker bees in the colony prefer more promiscuous queen bees. In fact, the number of partners a honey bee queen has influences how attractive the queen is to the several thousand worker bees in the hive and how long her reign is likely to be. Promiscuity may also improve colony disease resistance by boosting the genetic diversity of her offspring. The queen stores and uses the sperm of all these males throughout her lifetime so she can focus on her most important job of laying eggs. In a successful hive, the bees are buzzing: “Long live the queen!”
3. Bonobos Throw a Big Sex Party: Some animals do not conform to any mating system and engage in frequent sex with many partners. Probably the most well-known example are bonobo chimpanzees, known for the frequency, creativity, indiscernibility and variability in their sexual interactions. Both males and females mate with multiple partners to ease social tensions within the group and practice free love with bonobos of both sexes — even while hanging upside down.
4. Desperately Seeking Topi Antelopes: Thirty days of unending sex makes for some tired topis. Over-amorous females, fertile only one day a year, seek out the most desirable males and hound them to absolute exhaustion. Biologists have observed that males often turn down mating opportunities — Say it ain’t so! That’s right — this species exhibits sexual behavior that’s the reverse of most animals, in that females are aggressive, while the males are standoff-ish. In the topi battle of the sexes, females take the lead — mating several times with each of about four males on average.
5. Birds Make Desperate Housewives: The hedge sparrow has an incredible mating game that never seems to end. Even after the female sparrow has paired with a male, she keeps her eye out for other possibilities. Extramarital partners and sexual communes are common for these polyandrous females because it means they can have more offspring. Like the hedge sparrow, female barn swallows also shop around for multiple male sexual partners, and the males that are small, dark and handsome get the girls. The females judge the males by their looks, and if the male breast and belly feathers lose their sheen, it’s a cue to the female to start looking elsewhere for her next mate.
6. Elephant Seal Beach Blanket Bingo: While you’re watching to make sure no one takes your towel-draped lounge chair on the beach, male elephant seals are watching to make sure no one takes their bathing beauties. Large, blubbery male elephant seals called “beach masters” protect their gals from other guys trying to move in on their territory. A single breeding bull may control a harem of 100 or more, and only the biggest and most fearsome bulls get to mate. The males only become beach masters after they duke it out amongst themselves with their pendulous noses and teeth. Fights can involve bloody clashes and repeated strikes until one male submits and the other one stands victorious.
7. Jumping Spiders Dance Dance Revolution: A jumping spider is more than just a pretty face. These guys have hidden talents way beyond anything you’ve seen on reality shows, “Dancing with the Stars” and “American Idol.” Once onstage, the male spider attracts the gaze of the females, and then begins to coordinate an elaborate show involving singing and dancing. The females pick up the sound vibrations, while the male waves his front legs and zigzags in an intricate courtship “flamenco dance” routine. With his tufted legs straight up in the air, the male beats his abdomen and moves his legs rapidly. After a dramatic crescendo, he taps a female gently on the back and then tries to mount her. If the male doesn’t get it just right, he suffers a fate worse than a brutal critique from “American Idol” judge Simon Cowell. If his performance is flawed, he’s liable to end up as dinner.
8. North American Elk Hoedown: It’s all about posturing and foreplay for these strapping guys. Bull elk compete with one another for the right to breed with a herd of females during a two-month long mating season. Depending on his level of experience, a bull elk can be the master of a harem of anywhere from 5 to 60 cows, as the female elk are called. Mature, antlered bulls compete for cows by displaying their antlers, necks and bodies, and emit strong, musky odors and “bugle.” If this “tough-guy” approach doesn’t work, the bulls may have a scuffle and put those antlers to good use.
9. Bower Birds Build Love Shacks: In the name of love, bower birds may take out your garbage and rival even the best recycling program. These charmers will build elaborate structures, called bowers, out of everything from leaves and sticks to bottle caps and clothespins. And, that’s just the architecture. The males are also multi-talented interior designers, and may use a leaf or twig to paint the inner walls with a stain made from chewed plants, charcoal, and saliva. The bower serves to show off the male’s strength, and attract and seduce one or more mates. When a female arrives to inspect the structure, the male entertains her with an elaborate dance. Once the show is over, the female most often shows her approval by mating with the male and then flying off to build a nest in the neighborhood. Then the male is open for business again: Ladies welcome!
10. Birds of Paradise Flash and Flutter: When it comes to courtship displays, these species are the fashion icons of the bird world, donning lacy feathers, head ribbons, shiny breast shields — even bonnets. In these elaborate “costumes,” the male birds put the moves on the ladies and launch into theatrical routines. Taking a step back in time, the birds get boogying and downright funky. They hop and shake, flap and flutter — until the female is won over by the male bird with the best feathers and razzle-dazzle display.