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BOB ABERNETHY, anchor: Should the government encourage people on welfare to get married? President Bush is asking Congress for 300 million dollars to help states promote marriage. But some church leaders, and others, say encouraging marriage is not the government's job. Betty Rollin reports from Oklahoma, which has the nation's second highest divorce rate and this year is offering marriage classes to welfare recipients.
BETTY ROLLIN: Both the president of the United States and the governor of Oklahoma want Ann Foust to get married, something she has never done. Ann, who is 31 and on welfare, has a seven-year-old son and a four-month-old daughter.
ANN FOUST: My son's father is not in the picture. He left when I was three months pregnant. My daughter's father -- we're in the process of trying to work things out.
ROLLIN: To help her along, the state of Oklahoma has offered Ann the option of attending a marriage class as part of her welfare-to-work requirement. For two days, Ann and others on public assistance are schooled in "prep," a national program based on research conducted at the University of Denver. The emphasis is on communication and conflict resolution. That is, how to talk, listen, and how not to fight.
First the class views prep tapes showing couples relating to each other unsuccessfully, then successfully.
Then the students, themselves, pair up and practice the speaker/listener technique -- how to express their feelings -- and acknowledge the other person's feelings. Ann and her partner have chosen a "take out-the-garbage" dispute.
Ms. FOUST: Before you go to work you could take the trash to the curb.
CRYSTAL STEWART: Even though I work hard everyday I should still take out the trash everyday before I go to work?
Ms. FOUST: Yes.
ROLLIN: The class is also for married recipients like Albert and Felicia Rendahl who have four children.
FELICIA RENDAHL: I hear what you are saying. It's a lot of work trying to clean up after an entire family. Yes. And I appreciate some help from your part.
ALBERT RENDAHL: You're right! I'm going to help. We wish we had that good of a class about when we were two, three years into our marriage, because it would have saved us a lot of headaches and a lot of arguing and a lot of trouble.
ROLLIN: Oklahoma Governor Frank Keating's goal is to ease the economic burdens caused by out-of-wedlock births and divorce. Single parents are, of course, more likely to be poor and on public assistance.
Governor FRANK KEATING: If we could hold some of these marriages together, make sure people are ready for marriage before they get married, hopefully when they are married, they will not walk away from the marriage as if it was some casual contract, perhaps we can build a stronger economy.
ROLLIN: The state also funds programs to teach state workers and clergy to become prep teachers. Among the trainees, Pastor George Young would argue with those who say spirituality alone can make a marriage successful, that it takes commitment.
Pastor GEORGE YOUNG (Holy Temple Baptist Church, Oklahoma City): Jesus will not hold your marriage together. Folks don't want to hear that, but it won't. It's going to take more than that. Because if that was the case we wouldn't have any divorce in our churches.
ROLLIN: Some other states have different approaches to promoting and sustaining marriage among welfare recipients. In Michigan, single mothers take compulsory classes in marriage and parenting. In West Virginia, married couples with children receive a $100 dollar monthly bonus.
In Utah, couples applying for marriage licenses receive a pro-marriage video in the style of a newscast.
BETTY ROLLIN: Both the president of the United States and the governor of Oklahoma want Ann Foust to get married, something she has never done. Ann, who is 31 and on welfare, has a seven-year-old son and a four-month-old daughter.
ANN FOUST: My son's father is not in the picture. He left when I was three months pregnant. My daughter's father -- we're in the process of trying to work things out.ROLLIN: To help her along, the state of Oklahoma has offered Ann the option of attending a marriage class as part of her welfare-to-work requirement. For two days, Ann and others on public assistance are schooled in "prep," a national program based on research conducted at the University of Denver. The emphasis is on communication and conflict resolution. That is, how to talk, listen, and how not to fight.
First the class views prep tapes showing couples relating to each other unsuccessfully, then successfully.
Then the students, themselves, pair up and practice the speaker/listener technique -- how to express their feelings -- and acknowledge the other person's feelings. Ann and her partner have chosen a "take out-the-garbage" dispute.
Ms. FOUST: Before you go to work you could take the trash to the curb.
CRYSTAL STEWART: Even though I work hard everyday I should still take out the trash everyday before I go to work?
Ms. FOUST: Yes.
ROLLIN: The class is also for married recipients like Albert and Felicia Rendahl who have four children.
FELICIA RENDAHL: I hear what you are saying. It's a lot of work trying to clean up after an entire family. Yes. And I appreciate some help from your part.ALBERT RENDAHL: You're right! I'm going to help. We wish we had that good of a class about when we were two, three years into our marriage, because it would have saved us a lot of headaches and a lot of arguing and a lot of trouble.
ROLLIN: Oklahoma Governor Frank Keating's goal is to ease the economic burdens caused by out-of-wedlock births and divorce. Single parents are, of course, more likely to be poor and on public assistance.
Governor FRANK KEATING: If we could hold some of these marriages together, make sure people are ready for marriage before they get married, hopefully when they are married, they will not walk away from the marriage as if it was some casual contract, perhaps we can build a stronger economy.ROLLIN: The state also funds programs to teach state workers and clergy to become prep teachers. Among the trainees, Pastor George Young would argue with those who say spirituality alone can make a marriage successful, that it takes commitment.
Pastor GEORGE YOUNG (Holy Temple Baptist Church, Oklahoma City): Jesus will not hold your marriage together. Folks don't want to hear that, but it won't. It's going to take more than that. Because if that was the case we wouldn't have any divorce in our churches.ROLLIN: Some other states have different approaches to promoting and sustaining marriage among welfare recipients. In Michigan, single mothers take compulsory classes in marriage and parenting. In West Virginia, married couples with children receive a $100 dollar monthly bonus.
In Utah, couples applying for marriage licenses receive a pro-marriage video in the style of a newscast.
THOMAS FULFORD: The work is difficult work because we are always working with people in distress. 
Reverend ROBIN MEYERS (Mayflower Congregational Church, Oklahoma City): First of all, I don't think the government should be involved in a matter this personal, this intimate. The government doesn't belong in the love business. Couples ought to get all the counseling they can get, but they ought to do that privately. The government shouldn't be funding that initiative.
ISABEL SAWHILL: The problem is not that people aren't getting married, the problem is that they are having babies when they are still too young to either be parents or be married. And I don't think we want to encourage low-income women to marry men who may turn out to be abusive or may have substance abuse problems.
ROLLIN: A survey conducted by Oklahoma State University found that more than 80 percent of Oklahomans support the marriage initiative. But it will be years before it is known whether the program brings the results the government wants. I'm Betty Rollin in Oklahoma.
