ROLLIN: There is no question that in many communities, the children of gays are stigmatized. Example: a recent case in Louisiana where a child was reprimanded by his teacher for explaining his gay family to another child.

Dr. KYLE PRUETT (Child Psychiatrist, Yale University): I think it's naïve to think this is a piece of cake for either the parents or the kids, but I also think it's inaccurate to think of it as a form of automatic trouble. But so far, the cautious read of the research would be that these kids who are growing up in these families are basically not at risk. They don't show increased rates of mental illness. They are not very much unlike the other kids that they are going to school with.

ROLLIN: Moreover, says Dr. Pruett, these children may fare better than children of single-parent families.

Dr. PRUETT: Two-parent families, even when the two parents are of the same gender, do seem to provide a somewhat more supportive atmosphere for kids than single parents.

ROLLIN: Robert Knight studies family issues for a conservative Christian group in Washington, DC. He thinks the only family that provides a supportive atmosphere for children is a two-parent heterosexual family, and that the children of gays will surely suffer.

ROBERT KNIGHT (Culture and Family Institute): They are missing out on the whole scope of human relations, interaction of male and female. On top of that, they are getting a distorted picture of human sexuality: men and men together, women and women together. This was not God's plan. This was not natural, and children are being told it is because that's what they are growing up with.

ROLLIN: Knight believes that the uniqueness of each gender is necessary in a family.

Mr. KNIGHT: Mothers do provide something different for children. They provide this unbelievable sense of security. Fathers provide strength; they provide a bridge to the outside world.

ROLLIN: Gay parents, like Sal, admit that their children may be missing out.

Mr. IACULLO: There were times when she would cry about missing her birth mom, which is normal in an adoption situation but even more so because there wasn't a mommy in the house. I had to face the fact that no matter what, I could not replace being a mother. I'm not a mother and I will never be a mother. And I had to make her understand that, and if she had wanted to speak about it, had wanted to cry about it, don't think you are going to hurt me by hiding that. I understand that and let's cry about it together.

ROLLIN: Critics like Knight also predict that children of gays will become gay, themselves.

Mr. KNIGHT: More of them are likely to think homosexuality is okay. More of them say they think they will experiment with it one day, and why wouldn't they if their parents are doing it?

ROLLIN: But does openness to homosexuality increase the likelihood of becoming homosexual?

Dr. PRUETT: The percentage of gay and lesbian children who come from such families are pretty much reflective of the same percentage of the population of the general public, somewhere between 5 to 9 percent.

ROLLIN: The research on gay families, though limited, does show some differences in these children, which Dr. Pruett thinks are positive.

Dr. PRUETT: They tend to have a broader worldview. They tend to be more compassionate.

ROLLIN (to Teresa): What's been the hardest part?

TERESA: The hardest part is continually talking about how normal we are, how normal we feel, how normal our life is.

ROLLIN: However normal gay families may feel, normalcy in the eyes of others remains elusive. But as more and more children are raised by gay parents, these families will become better known. And perhaps then, they hope, they will be seen as being like everyone else.

I'm Betty Rollin for RELIGION & ETHICS NEWSWEEKLY in Maryland.

SEVERSON: So far, according to Dr. Pruett, the Yale psychiatrist, the evidence about what happens to the children of same sex parents is incomplete. There has been no long-term, 20-year follow up -- something Dr. Pruett says is much needed.