I never expected ... Can you imagine picking out a casket for your 9-year-old. No! No! No! This could not be. I had to touch his face in the coffin to make sure it was not warm. And trying to stand upright while walking down the aisle of our crowded local church for his funeral with all his friends looking on was the saddest moment
of my life. But I dropped that rose on top of the coffin before the first shovel of dirt cropped over his casket. It left a dark whole in my heart that would grow smaller over time but would never go away. If you tried to look into it the pain would flow out with tears and heavy heavy heartache.
Why could I not see how quickly his death would come and why were we not prepared? This guilt has lots of faces as time passes.