What keeps me up at night is the constant thought that I'm a failure, and looking back on my regrets. I'm a young adult, but I still feel like I've made so many mistakes. I joined the military right out of high school to get out of my hometown and see the world, to have some unique experiences. So far, nothing has gone right no matter how hard I've tried to do my best. I feel like I'm wasting my time and the time of everyone around me by being here. I wish I could go back to high school where all I was worried about was band practice and playing videogames with the homies. I have an idea of what I want to do when I get out of the military but I worry that I'll fail to be good at that too. Often I think about just giving up on everything and wishing I could turn back the clock to the easy days. My smile hides the pain.