I was raised to believe that a 3 year old had agency. My parents were highly educated, liberal, sophisticated nincompoops. When my hamster died I put it near the radiator but it remained kaput. What happens when you die? Is there a Heaven? Or just…nothing? They lamely explained, “Well the Buddhists believe this, and the Christians believe that, and we are Jews but not really. Us typical cartoon beatnik radical lefties can’t believe in God. It’s uncool. But as Jews we feel guilty not giving you a faith. So I invented my own. I'm a devout Hamster. I needed to believe in a benign power protecting me from idiocy, and have nearly succeeded.