Clique; (noun) a small, exclusive group of people.

These groups can include the most popular teens in your school or the biggest outcasts. Cliques are made up of as few as two or three individuals to as many as 20 or more people. The question is why do we strive so hard to be accepted into them? What is so special about these groups?

When I was in high school, the most popular cliques were the jocks and the cheerleaders. Everyone knew who they were and wanted to be friends with them because that meant instant popularity. Whenever you would see them in the hall (especially the cheerleaders), they always had a smile on their face, and at least 10 people surrounding them. They wore the coolest clothes, had the nicest hair, and of course had the hottest boyfriends and girlfriends in school. If you wanted to be accepted, you had to look and act a certain way. If you didn't, you risked being rejected by the inner sanctum. If that happened, you could end up bearing the brunt of public humiliation.

Today, things aren't much different. Hanging with the right crowd is just as much an issue, but why? Why do we feel the need to be a part of the most popular crowd? What is it about these groups that make them so special? Is it that they can afford Abercrombie & Fitch outfits? Is it because they can throw a football sixty yards? What is it?

If you really think about it, we all play a part in making the "in crowd" popular. You root for them at games, elect them to your student council, pick them as prom kings and queens, and strive to be a part of their world. In return, you've been given a list of rules that tell you why you're not cool enough to hang with them. We are society. Collectively, we exalt the popular people to their place atop the pile, while we are the bodies on which they stand.

Instead of striving to be accepted by them, turn the tables and pay less attention to them. Focus more on your true friends and yourself. It's your spotlight. You can be selective about where you direct it. I know that's easier said than done, but everything has to start somewhere. If you want things to change, you are going to have to take the first step and make a stand. Value your group of friends instead of longing to belong to another that won't accept you.

If you and your friends are open, honest, and treat each other right, you'll be the most popular group in school. At least you'll be the most popular group to you. It could catch on. Not because you're selective about who you let in or because you dress a certain way, but because you base your friendship on a less superficial set of boundaries. You allow people to be a part of your circle and make them feel accepted for who they are, regardless of their clothes, looks or physical ability. It's your friendships that matter in the end. Because, when things get tough only your true friends will be left standing by your side.

Many of us want to belong to a group to become popular. If that's the case, try not to mistake popularity for friendship. Being popular doesn't bring you "true" friendship. It just means you're well known. Everybody in the school could think you're cool; cheerleaders could invite you home for dinner. Football players may ask you to sit at their table, yet there may not be one friend among them. Yes, believe it — even members of those popular groups can be lonely. That's why it is important to value your friendships. In the long run, you and your friends will be thankful you followed your hearts instead of someone else's lead.