Westchester County Boot Camp Teen: All I thought about was drugs. I didn’t think about nothing else. All I was doing was—like if I wasn’t smoking, I was looking for it. If I wasn’t looking for it, I was talking about it.

Teen: Super stars do drugs. Models do drugs. Rock stars do drugs. And then there’s the like…there’s like very few that don’t do it in high school.

Teen Couple: When you’re a teenager, I think it’s really difficult to sort of walk that line of doing drugs but also staying away from them.

Boot Camp Teen: It sneaks right up on you, like you don’t even realize it. You go from smoking once a week to twice a week to four times a week to every day before you know it.

Everclear’s Art Alexakis: Everything thing we do in life comes with a consequence. Drugs are no different. Using drugs always comes with a price.

In the Mix Host Andrea: Hey, I’m Andrea from In the Mix..

Art: I’m Art from the band Everclear. I did drugs from the age of eight to the age of twenty-three and I’m here to tell you that the image that drugs are cool, is just that. It’s an image, an image that isn’t real.

Andrea: You know, lots of people don’t know what drugs actually do to your brain and body. I mean, there’re so many misconceptions about that, like does acid settle in your spinal cord and what are flashbacks? Well, on today’s show, we’re going to give you the hard facts about how drugs affect your brain and body.

Art: Even to this day, I still have panic attacks, severe depression, anxiety attacks and I have a serious chemical imbalance that will probably never, ever go away. Today, we’re going to meet some kids who are actually serving time for dealing drugs, using drugs, selling drugs, and we’re also going to go to a treatment center and talk to some kids who’ve been doing what they can to fight their own addiction.

Andrea: We’ll also explore how kids from the city to the suburbs are using drugs and we’ll also talk to some kids who are taking a hard stand against drugs.

Art: So stay with us.

Teen Couple: I think that everyone gets involved with drugs to a certain extent. When I say drugs I mean anywhere from alcohol to cocaine…

Teen: Weed.

Teen: Okay, I drank a lot.

Teen: And acid.

Teen: None of my friends do acid.

Teen: A lot of my friends do acid.

Teen: Or Ecstasy, a lot of ones.

Teen Couple: Doing drugs is a choice but sometimes I feel like they’re so at me.

Teen: I don’t think there’s something as peer pressure. I think it’s self-pressure and when you’re around peers that are using, you put pressure on yourself to be cool like that.

Teen Couple: They’re doing drugs everywhere, I mean, on the house, in the houses on the street, I mean just anywhere. Anywhere’s fine. In someone else’s house, on the subway.

Teen: In a car, or like outside.

Teen Couple: In bathrooms in restaurants.

Teen: In the woods, like there’re certain trails that everybody knows about, and there’re certain like back roads that a popular, like smoking spots.

Teen: What makes it a party is that it’s unsupervised. You know, that there’s no mother there or she’s going to pretend. If there’s a mother there, then she pretends that she has no idea what’s going on.

Teen: We’d be having like a party and my dad wasn’t home and he didn’t know about it.

Teen: You know, I have a lot of friends whose parents that actually allow their kids to do stuff like that.

Teen Couple: There’s this new breed of like young, rich, successful, beautiful, glamorous kids that do drugs.

Teen: It’s not just in the city. It’s everywhere. If you’ve driven in like farm country where there’s like nobody around, there’s still drugs.

Teen Couple: Hard drugs are on the rise in the city among teenagers. The drugs that they’re doing are harder. Kids are kind of—I don’t think they have any sense of like that they can hurt—that it’s going to really screw them up in life. I think they have a feeling that everything will be all right.

Teen Couple: This is sick, but worse comes to worse, their parents like send them off to rehab program and then they can come back and say, ‘Oh, I was in rehab.’

Daytop Treatment Center Employee: Good morning, ladies, six o’clock. Time to wake up. Let’s go. Let’s go. Got to get up. Let’s go. Let’s wake up, ladies. Ladies. Let’s go! Let’s go!

Treatment Center Teen: You wake up at six in the morning. You know how hard that is? Waking up at six in the morning and make sure the room and the dorm and the boys’ dorms are tight. I thought treatment was going to be like…easy. I thought it was just going to be just like in a house. Just staying away from the drugs. But it’s more than that. It’s more. It’s responsibilities. I used coke, crack, weed, alcohol, dust, acid. Any thing you name, I did it.

Treatment Center Teen: I had no intention to do all the drugs that I got into but I wanted to feel the experience that everybody was talking about. I’ve used cocaine, weed, alcohol, heroin, crack, dust, shrooms, acid, peyote, Ecstasy. When I first had got here, the first couple days, I felt kind of isolated like. I can’t go into my room and close the door and listen to music. I have to ask staff to go to the bathroom. I can’t—I have to ask permission to write a letter. I can’t call home unless I’m good.

Treatment Center Teen: I thought drugs could lead you into fun, girls, good things…money. More friends. Drugs could also lead you to—I never knew that drugs could lead you to like jail.

Boot Camp Guard: Halt!

Boot Camp Teen: We have our own little structure.

Guard: Right face.

Boot Camp Teen: We don’t talk a lot.

Guard: Fall out.

Boot Camp Teens: All right, sir.

Boot Camp Teen: We stand on line and we’re not allowed to move.

Guard: Right back on the line.

Boot Camp Teen: We’re soldiers, except there’s no war for us to fight. My teenage life was just like any other person my age. We went out. We played baseball, basketball, football. You know, we drove our cars around once in a while looking for girls. I never really did drugs, but I always knew a lot of people who tried basically everything.

Boot Camp Teen: I was arrested for criminal possession of narcotics. I had crack, marijuana. I never thought that I’d be using crack. That was like the last thing, you know. I always used to see people strung out on crack like, ‘Look at that crack head. I’m never want to be like that person.’ I’ve been here for about four months.

Boot Camp Teen: I’ve been at boot camp for about 63 days now. I never thought smoking weed could ever get me in trouble cause it just seemed so petty that I never thought it could actually get me into trouble, into jail. But it’s not actually the weed that got me here, it’s making bad choices after…after smoking pot…after so long.

Dr. Alan Leshner: Over the years, we’ve learned quite a lot about the way in which drugs can change your brain in ways that last long after you stop using. The top line shows a normal brain. The second line shows reduced activity in the brain of a cocaine addict, ten days after that individual stopped using cocaine. And the bottom line shows that same cocaine addict a hundred days after he stopped using. Although you start out feeling good using drugs, you very quickly get into a reverse situation where those prolonged changes in the way your brain is functioning actually produces dysphoria, or negative feelings, negative emotions.

Teen: I know that drugs are bad but that never stopped me from doing them because what was bad didn’t really have consequences when I was feeling so good. I don’t know how many times I’ve sat here and like gotten ready just to go out and get wasted because I wanted to look some—half way decent, you know, when I was messed up.

Teen: I’ve had alcohol poisoning twice.

Teen: I’ve OD’ed numerous times. Anything that somebody put in front of me is what I’d do. I didn’t care what it was. I didn’t have to know what it was. I don’t have any pictures of like when I was using or anything because, at that time, when I would be that messed up, me and my friends were not like capable of actually taking pictures.

I could have been getting run over by a car, like so many times I’ve slammed my head against the ground or something. It really doesn’t matter until you get sober and that’s why you have to do it again. Like because if you do something stupid, and then you regret it, you want to hide those feelings. And what you’re doing is delaying them.

Teen: You’re just delaying your feelings. It’s like – the way I’d put it is you’re going on a vacation from your feelings for a while.

Teen: And then you just want to keep the vacation going for as long as you can. It’s a blasting of your head. It’s all that it is. You don’t remember anything if you’ve got like screwed up enough.

Teen: I don’t remember my summer because I was stoned every day, stoned or drunk every day. I was on something else.

Teen: I don’t remember the past three years. It’s really sad sometimes. It really bothers me a lot. I get really mad about it sometimes. Just like, ‘Damn!’ I don’t remember any of middle school, except for little bits and pieces and finding my head in toilet bowls and stuff like that. It’s really not pleasant.

Teen: You don’t think about the dangers of it, just doesn’t matter…basically.

Teen: All you want to do is to get high. That’s what you’re going to do. It doesn’t matter what’s going to happen afterwards.

Teen: Heroin is like a real numbing drug. I sniffed it. I never injected it, but as soon as you sniff it, it makes you lay down. You forget everything. You can’t even think.

Dr. Leshner: Your mind is dulled because it’s slowing down the way in which you’re mind is processing the information.

Teen: When I was on heroin, I got raped. I couldn’t function. I couldn’t move or anything like that. That was the first time I did heroin and I wasn’t—I couldn’t defend myself because I was so high or whatever. I felt it happening, but I…I was numb. I was laying there like, like a rag doll. I just—I couldn’t scream. I couldn’t say anything. I wasn’t deserving—nobody’s worth doing that, no matter how many drugs you’re on, you’re not worth it for yourself to get hurt like that. It was at a party and I’m not even sure who it was. I picked myself off the floor and I just walked out in the morning and I went home like nothing happened. I just went home like—my mom said, ‘Where were you?’ Whatever. And I lied.

Boot Camp Guard: [counting push-ups] One! Two! Three! Four!

Boot Camp Teen: I was out at friends’ one night and we were at a bar. I thought I was all right. You know, there was no reason in my mind that I thought that I couldn’t drive. We were about thirty seconds from home and I was…I was cut off and two of my friends died.

Boot Camp Guard: Twenty-five! Twenty-six! Twenty-seven! Twenty-eight! Twenty-nine!

Boot Camp Teen: I didn’t get hurt at all. I, I walked right away from it and all I saw was what had happened and I was in shock. I couldn’t even believe it happened to me. Why didn’t I die instead of them? You know? Nobody can really understand how it feels to want to switch places with someone who’s dead. I was arrested for vehicular manslaughter. Those were my charges. We didn’t go to trial. I just pled guilty. I have never been arrested in my life before that day. You know, you figure, I’ll be okay to drive from here to there. It’s not a big problem. I drive down this road every day. I know the road like the back of my hand. And…obviously I didn’t.

Boot Camp Teen: I got some drugs on credit one day and I was supposed to pay it back the next day and I didn’t pay it back. I was smoking crack in the corner. And I seen the kids chasing me with bats and stuff. Then I was real scared. I thought they was going to kill me. I started running. I got away from them and I think I slide under a car and I stayed there for like hours under the car. I think I would have been killed if I wasn’t…if I didn’t come to this boot camp. I would have been dead on the street.

Boot Camp Teen: A lot of time, I’d sleep till twelve, one in the afternoon, get up, party all day. Me and a couple of my friends got into a fight with some kids, broke some windows in their car, smashed their car up. I didn’t show up to my probation appointments. I failed some urine tests. I gave them some dirty urine. Really took it as a joke. Didn’t take it seriously. Then I was violated. I went to court and the judge sentenced me to nine months.

Boot Camp Teen: We get graded on everything here in the boot camp.

Boot Camp Guard: Got hair in your soap dish. Give me thirty.

Boot Camp Teen: I miss being able to control when you can open and close a door, being locked in some place where you can’t go outside and play and smell fresh air.

Teen: I like to keep so many old pictures because it’s fun to look back and like see the old friends and memories and stuff. This is from my eighth grade dance, right. Cause of my stupid drugness I had to be with—[points to photography] this is my mommy—I had to be with her. She had to spend the entire night with me. I wasn’t allowed to leave her side for the entire dance.

I did a lot of stupid things, like I ruined my reputation, God knows how many times over. For four years, I was looked on as the biggest slut and I’d just see it, like it was painted on my forehead, I had a tattoo that said like slut across my forehead or something. And that’s all I saw.

Teen: I’m not okay. I’ve got severe depressions still. It didn’t go away. I mean, I’ve got major family problems. I don’t have my mind left, like I’m in eleventh grade and in ninth grade math and I’m supposed to be graduating next year. Like I don’t have that.

Teen: To think that something you thought was fun turned out to be the biggest mistake of your life is like, ‘Well, how good could my judgment be?’ Like my best thinking got me to where I was.

Treatment Center Teen: When you’re on drugs, instead of thinking about what you’re going to do. You just act on…on like impulses. You just act on like, ‘Oh, that looks good. Let’s go do that.’ And then you think.

I was addicted to drugs. I was very addicted to drugs. Your brain doesn’t tell you, ‘Oh, my God, my body’s not functioning without drugs.’ It tells you, ‘Oh, my God, you’re sick. You need some medicine.’ That’s what it’s telling you: ‘You need to medicate yourself. In order for you to feel better, you need to get that. Go get it.’

Dr. Leshner: If you are addicted, if you have this compulsion to use drugs, it’s because your brain has literally been changed by drugs. Your brain has been hijacked.

Treatment Center Teen: It gives you these pains inside that feels like you’re dying. It feels like your insides—it felt like my heart was getting pulled out through my back. It was such a sharp pain. It was just like the chest pains. I would be so cold, but I’d be sweating.

Dr. Leshner: You have no way to know how susceptible or vulnerable you are to becoming addicted, so you might be one of those people who can experiment with drugs occasionally and be just okay, or you could be somebody who’s very, very susceptible and therefore you experiment with drugs a couple of times and you’re in deep trouble.

Teen in Hospital: The first time I did acid was two months ago. It was me and one of my closest friends. We were like dancing around. We were just having a lot of fun. And I felt like when we played music, like I really felt the music. I did know what a flashback was but I really didn’t give much thought about them. So many of my friends that have done this stuff have never—it’s never happened to them.

Dr. Leshner: One of the things that happens with acid is that it actually gets stored in fat tissue, and there’s a lot of fat tissues in your brain, so actually you’re storing LSD and it can sit there for a long time.

Teen in Hospital: After I tripped those couple of times, I felt very depressed afterwards, like I was sleeping all of the time. I was in a horrible mood. Then one day, I felt like, like I was in a way – I was so excited and so happy, kind of like I was tripping.

Dr. Leshner: The LSD starts to leak out of these fat stores and, as it leaks out, it gives you a little pop of LSD and you could have a hallucination that occurs quite a bit later in time.

Teen in Hospital: My thoughts were just going like a mile a minute. I’d have all these happy thoughts and I’d be laughing and the next second I’d be crying. It was very, very scary. I was saying a lot of weird things. I was scaring my parents and then they brought me here to get evaluated. I’ve been in the hospital for one week now.

I had so many thoughts going in my head that I couldn’t communicate, like I would be taking and then all of sudden I’d go, ‘And, uhhhhhhhhhhhhhmmmm, uhhhhhhhh, no. I just could not communicate.

Dr. Leshner: If you’re at risk for being depressed because of your genes or your life situation and then use drugs for a while, you could get pushed into clinical depression.

Teen in Hospital: Basically, I’m a manic depressive now. The doctors tell me that I will be on lithium for at least six months, maybe up to a year. I really feel like I can leave soon, like I feel much more calmer, like I’m in control of my thoughts. I…I hope that I can go home soon. Right.

Hospital Nurse: Talk to the doctor.

Teen in Hospital: Okay.

Dr. Leshner: One drug that does seem to cause a form of psychosis, or behavior that looks like you’re psychotic is actually methamphetamine. It produces paranoia. It can make people hallucinate and then they stop using the drug and they still have the paranoia. They still do the hallucinating.

Boot Camp Teen: Once you realize that you can’t have the weed when you’re in here, you tend to not want it as much cause you know you can’t get it. I’m sure my friends at home that were smoking when I came here are still going to be smoking when I get home. For most people I know, they’ll start off smoking once in a while. Before they know it, it’s a daily habit.

Dr. Leshner: We do know that marijuana is an addicting substance for many people.

Boot Camp Teen: They’re still my friends, but there’s going to be a time when I have to go my own way. Right now, I’m nineteen. I feel like I’m a few years behind where I should be. I should have graduated high school two years ago. I see it as lost time because as I look back at the years, I did absolutely nothing with myself, that I could have been something positive for myself, and it took going to jail and coming to this boot camp for me to realize that.

Boot Camp Participants: I will conduct myself to become a positive member of society. I will strive to consistently conduct myself with integrity.

Boot Camp Teen: I think about my freedom.

Boot Camp Participants: I believe I am capable of…

Boot Camp Teen: I still have a chance to change my life around. I think about that a lot because when I, you know, when I go back out in the world, you know, I’m going to have to watch my back, cause I’m still thinking that people are after me, and just pray to God, you know, that no one will shoot me or come up from behind and hit me with a bat.

Boot Camp Teen: If it can happen to me, it can happen to anybody. It doesn’t take years and years for drugs and alcohol to damage who you are. It only takes 30 seconds.

Boot Camp Participants: There’s nothing I can’t do if I want to, Sir.

Boot Camp Guard: Do we believe it?

Boot Camp Participants: Sir, yes, Sir!

Boot Camp Guard: Do we believe it?

Boot Camp Participants: Sir, yes, Sir!

Boot Camp Guard: Can we live by it?

Boot Camp Participants: Sir, yes, Sir!

Boot Camp Guard: Outstanding, Gentlemen. Fall out.

Boot Camp Participants: Aye, Sir.

Treatment Center Employee: Can y’all go to bed, please. It’s time to go to bed.

Treatment Center Teen: Everything I had in my whole life, I lost it for no reason and because I wanted to get high. I’ve been through enough treatments, and how many times have I said, ‘Oh, I’m not going to get high,’ or whatever? I never once said I don’t want to get high until I came to detox.

Treatment Center Teen: I knew that what I’m facing, if I go out there, I could just slip and just pick up that joint and start all over and that’s I don’t want.

Treatment Center Teen: I figure this is a very important part of my treatment. Instead of holding on to things that you’ve done wrong and using them as like an excuse to keep doing wrong, I learn from that and not do it wrong again.

Treatment Center Employee: Love you, guys.

Treatment Center Teens: Love you, Karen.

Teen Couple: You rely on drugs to set you free in a way that’s really false and then what ends up happening is that, you know, you take a drug to sort of make you feel better and if, you know, to give you life and energy or give you challenge in life and then you end up taking it and it’s boring and it’s not as fun.

Teen Couple: And then afterwards say, ‘Oh, man, we just had such a busy and intense night. What did we do? And you go back and you realize—

Teen Couple: Exactly—

Teen Couple: – you didn’t do anything.

Teen Couple: That’s a common thing: nothing.

Teen Couple: That you just—nothing! I mean, you didn’t do anything. I can’t explain it to you. There’s nothing to explain. We didn’t do anything.

Teen Couple: By doing drugs. I felt guilty a lot of the time and I thought it was—I thought I was actually like more angry because I felt so guilty of what I was doing and I felt I wasn’t being the person that I could be.

Straight Edge Members: I’m a person just like you. I’ve got better things to do than sit around with my head than hang out with the living dead, snort white stuff up my nose, pass out at the shows. I don’t even think about speed. That’s something I just don’t need. I’ve got straight edge.

Straight Edge Teen: I’m rebelling against drugs mainly. I’ve been straight edge just about a year now. The main reason I don’t want drugs in my body is because I don’t need them.

Straight Edge Teen: Once you’re straight edge, you can see things a lot clearer. I don’t do drugs. I don’t drink. I don’t smoke. So that’s what’s important.

Straight Edge started in Washington, DC in 1981 with a band called Minor Threat. They didn’t need drugs. They didn’t need to smoke. So that was basically straight edge. Straight edge message has been spread through bands who really believe in it. They’re going to talk about it. It’s pretty much a movement. It’s moving all different directions and there’s kids with all different ideas. Ideas are always going to grow. I’ve been straight edge for two years. I don’t want to intoxicate myself. You just start going to shows and stuff, you find out about it.

Straight Edge Teen: My friend Pete Edge, he’s what really put me onto straight edge. About a good twenty of my friends are straight edge. We’re just a bunch of kids that want to have positive attitudes. We’re black sheep. We’re the ones veering off from the crowd being hip. By not taking drugs, you are rebelling. All these kids, they like look down upon straight edge as, ‘Wow, you guys, how can you have fun without drugs?’

Straight Edge Teen: A lot of people, yeh, think that you need drugs to have a good time. You know, people say to me, ‘Oh, you’re straight edge. What are your parties like?’ At straight edge hard core shows, you can get as much anger out as you possibly can because you’re not hurting anybody. You’re enjoying yourselves. Let out all your frustrations of everyday life. X is like the symbol for straight edge. X has caught on mainly at shows because when kids were underage and they couldn’t drink, they would have an X put on their hands. But Xing up, it totally means a lot to me because it gives me just like a boost to my confidence where you feel that you can do anything. All the drugs and the alcohol and everything is out of your way. You don’t have to worry about it.

Straight Edge Members: I’m a person just like you, but I’ve got better things to do than sit around and smoke dope cause I know that I can cope. Laugh at the thought of eating ‘ludes. Laugh at the thought of sniffing glue, always going to keep in touch, when everyone needs a crutch. I’ve got the straight edge.

Straight Edge Teen: Kids are going to listen to other kids no matter what.

Straight Edge Teen: You know you’re standing for what you believe in, which is, you know, a really positive thing. It’s not about, you know, forcing people to believe one thing. It’s not like I go to school, ‘Hey, Dude, do you want to be Straight Edge?’ I’m not out to change the world. You know, I’ve changed myself, that’s all.

Straight Edge Teen: Straight Edge isn’t for everybody. I wish it was. Everybody’s different. You have to accept people’s decisions. I’m so damn proud of myself, from staying committed that I’ve made myself powerful, put up a whole big resistance against drugs and against all the bad pressures of life. It’s nothing about how you look, how your hair is, it’s about inside. It’s what’s inside that counts. You could be walking down the street without any Xs, look like a normal person, but you know yourself, you’re Straight Edge and you’re proud of it.

Straight Edge Teen: You know, it’s about helping one another.

Straight Edge Members: I’ve got Straight Edge.

Straight Edge Teen: There’s basic philosophy behind straight edge. People look into working it out. That’s the example that it sets and that’s the power behind it. An egg in a frying pan, or whatever, this is your brain on drugs, like how much of an impact is that going to have on you? I don’t know of anything else, you know – before 1/19/81 – that’s done as much to bring kids together to be drug free as much as Straight Edge has.

Straight Edge Teen: I want to make a change. I definitely want to leave a lasting impression. These Xs on my hands mean I won’t take part. These Xs on my hands will stay inside my heart. That’s what you should go by, man. Those are the quotes to go by.

Teen: I don’t – I don’t have the desire to use anymore. I have to go to this party and I have no idea what I’m going to wear. Now, I really could care less if I go to a party and people were shooting heroin. I really couldn’t care less because I know I’m the cool one because I’m not doing it, because that’s the better thing to be doing. I’m not killing myself. I’m just starting now gaining respect from my peers at school. I’m in like twenty hours of therapy a week. Like it’s—my world has turned itself around.

Teen: Drugs aren’t the best thing in the world. I mean, it may make you look cool to some people but to other people they make you look like—

Teen: – a loser.

Teen: – a loser, yeh.

Teen: A loser!

Andrea: Being a teenager anywhere you’re going to confront drugs. It’s all about the choices that you make—I mean, I know that if I got to a party and drugs are there, people are going to ask me and, you know, I say, ‘No.’ That’s cool. It’s okay, if you have good friends.

Art: Getting off drugs at any time in any situation is hard to do. Trust me. I know. Trying to get off drugs on your own is really, really hard. Look, don’t be afraid to ask for help. If you or any of your friends, or anyone you know, is having a problem with drugs or you have any questions about drugs, you can call this number: 1-800-662-HELP. It’s open 24 hours a day, seven days a week. All calls are private. No one’s going to know who you’re calling, what’s your name, what you’re calling about. Don’t worry about it.

Andrea: You can check out our web page for the full interviews with the kids you’ve just seen and for more info about all kinds of drugs, and you’ll also find the discussion guide, transcript, and how to get a copy. And if you’d like to share your experiences, opinions, and advice about drugs, you can e-mail us at inthemix@pbs.org and we’ll post it. You can also write us at In the Mix, 114 East 32^nd Street, New York, New York 10016.

Art: Don’t listen to me. Don’t listen to anybody. Figure things out for yourself. Listen to the voice inside. If you’re not happy, then you need to do something about it. Make yourself happy.

Andrea: Make your own choices.

This In the Mix special has been made possible by the Corporation for Public Broadcasting. Thanks a lot.

[end of Program]

PRODUCTION STATS

The National Institute on Drug Abuse is one of the National Institutes of Health located in Bethesda, Maryland.

The Boot Camp sequences were shot at Westchester County Department of Corrections Boot Camp in New York State.

The residential treatment center sequences were shot at the Daytop Village Treatment Center.