Why I Hate Cell Phones

It’s not the new technology I hate. It’s the idiots using the new technology I hate. And the lack of the new technology that I was told would be available. For instance: where’s my jetpack?
They promised me a jetpack. I should be chugging tang in zero gravity right now.Of course, cell phones are pretty darn cool: being able to contact anybody on the planet from anywhere on the planet, even if you can only do it in twenty-second bursts before one of you runs out of cell range. Now, if only we could pry them out of the hands of cretinous fool toad sand suckers. Don’t get me started.

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