Will Durst on Current Events You May Have Missed While Working Your Fingers to the Bone

Because of our cell based liquid plasma schedule, there’re a lot of events happening in the world you might have missed, and not one carbon unit could blame you. So, as a public service, I’m here to fill in a few of the gaps.

1. You might want to rethink that Concorde flight.
2. The George Bush running for president is not the one who was president before.
3. Once again, we’re not sure if the Russians are the good guys or the bad guys. But their new leader’s name is Putin. As in: <sniff, sniff> "Who’s Putin?"
4. Yes, Darryl Strawberry is in trouble again.
5. And no, the latest round of Middle East peace talks was not successful (perennial).
6. Bill Clinton had some problems with an intern, but that’s all been cleared up.
7. In science news: the federal government announced it is worried about the long-term effects of medical marijuana on the terminally ill.
8. And one study found sun block causes cancer. Don’t ask.
9. Continuing a theme, first milk was good for you, then it was bad. Now they don’t know.
10. The stock market rose then plunged, but now apparently has regained its footing (perennial).
11. A variety of Firestone tires are now available at discount prices all over the country.

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