Bonjour! Welcome to Standard Deviants TV French, where learning is anything but standard. We'll go over the ins and outs of the French language and have a lot of le fun—that's "fun"—at the same time. So, the next time someone asks you, "Parlez vous français?" you'll be able to proudly say, "Oui"…

2. Words in different languages that share a common ancestor are called cognates. As you would expect, the meaning and spelling of cognates can be very similar. For example, the French word l'hopital is close to the English word "hospital." What cognates can you think of? Do you know any French words that look like an English word, but have a different meaning (sometimes called false cognates)?

3. Which French letters are easiest for you to pronounce? Which ones are more difficult?

4. How are the French usually portrayed in television programs and movies? What stereotypes, either positive or negative, do people associate with the French?

5. Why are French fries called French fries? (Hint: They're not from France.)

It's French Toast with a Standard Deviants twist. Triple Bypass French Toast is delicious and takes just a few minutes to make.

(Note: Eating Triple Bypass French Toast more than once a year is not recommended by the USDA, doctors, nutritionists, and people who want you to live.)

Serves: One hungry person.

Ingredients: 3 eggs
3 slices of bread
3 strips of bacon
3 tablespoons of butter
3 tablespoons of milk
3 teaspoons of powdered cinnamon

2 large frying pans
Mixing bowl
A sword
A suit of armor
The Queen of England

Instructions:
1. Add the milk, eggs, and cinnamon in the mixing bowl.

2. While making a blender sound with your lips, stir the ingredients together.

3. Do you have the butter? Good.

4. Throw away 2 tablespoons of butter. What are you trying to do, kill yourself? Melt the remaining tablespoon of butter in the frying pan.

5. Dip each side of a slice of bread in the mixture for 2-3 seconds. Next, fry each side at medium-high for several minutes. Do the same for the other two slices.

6. While you're frying the last slice of bread, cook the bacon and the rest of the egg mixture in another frying pan. Shape the egg into a bread-sized patty.

7. Okay, you're almost done. Make a triple-decker sandwich with the bread, egg, and bacon.

8. Don the suit of armor. Fly to Buckingham Palace.

9. Hand your sword to the Queen of England. Ask her to dub you "Sir Eats-A-Lot."

10. Hurry back home. You've got eating to do!

11. Warm your Triple Bypass French Toast in the microwave and pour a big helping of syrup over it. Enjoy your meal!

SDTV French Contest
How did your culinary masterpiece turn out?
Take a picture of your Triple Bypass French Toast and send it to us, either by mail or email, and you'll be entered in a drawing for a very cool prize!
Send your pictures to contests@cerebellum.com, subject: "French Toast Contest", or mail them to:

Cerebellum Corporation
Attn: French Toast Contest
2890 Emma Lee Street
Falls Church, Virginia 22042

We'll also post the best pictures on our Web site at www.StandardDeviants.com. Good luck.