♫She went... and... and...♫ (barking, growls) ♫When she ate some alphabet soup♫ ♫Then what happened was bizarre...♫ On the way to Martha's stomach, the letters lost their way.

They traveled to her brain and now... ♫She's got a lot to say♫ ♫Now she speaks...♫ How now, brown cow?

♫Martha speaks, yeah, she speaks and speaks♫ ♫And speaks and speaks and speaks...♫ What's a caboose?

When are we eating again?

♫Martha speaks...♫ Hey, Joe, what do you know?

My name's not Joe.

♫She's not always right, but still that Martha speaks.♫ Hi, there!

♫She's got a voice, she's ready to shout♫ ♫Martha will tell you what it's all about♫ ♫Sometimes wrong but seldom in doubt♫ ♫Martha will tell you what it's all about♫ ♫That dog's unique...♫ Testing, one, two!

♫Hear her speak♫ ♫Martha speaks and speaks♫ ♫And speaks and speaks and...♫ ♫Communicates, enumerates♫ ♫Elucidates, exaggerates♫ ♫Indicates and explicates, bloviates and overtakes and...♫ (panting) ♫...hyperventilates!♫ ♫Martha, to reiterate...♫ Martha speaks!

♫Martha speaks.♫ Ah, greetings, my friend!

Are you ready for a show full of...?

Shh!

Full of words about law and order?

Words such as: "innocence," "guilt," "plot," "evidence," (shouts): and "bias"!

Shh!

See how many words you can spot, and I'll see you at the end of the show.

Give that back, you hoodlum!

Ooh!

"Hoodlum" is another word for criminal.

Uh, s-sorry...

T.D.

: I'm innocent.

I didn't do it.

You did, too.

You're guilty as anything.

I'm not the one who took it.

I'm innocent.

Anyway, where's your evidence?

When I left, there was one French fry on my plate.

When I came back, there were none.

That doesn't prove anything.

Plus, there's a French fry stuck between your teeth.

Rats.

Where?

Actually, I made that up.

Aah, you win.

I did it.

Guilty as charged.

I warned you.

ALICE: Hey, you guys!

Guess what?

You're all invited.

To what?

My birthday party!

(screams) Oh, no!

(static crackles) "What has upset our young friends?"

you may be wondering.

Well, in scientific terminology, Alice Boxwood is what is known as a ginormous klutz.

The signs were evident by her second birthday.

(inhales deeply) Ahhh!

(groans) (groans) PROFESSOR: Two years ago, Alice had a build-your-own-sundae party.

Ah!

Cold!

(screams) (shrieks) KIDS: Uh-oh.

Aah!

Cold!

(static crackles) Then last year was the year of... miniature golf.

(screaming) Eh, could've been worse.

(rumbling clatter) Run for your lives!

(screaming) Alice Boxwood's birthdays are not for the faint of heart.

(screaming) Don't worry, it's a simple costume party.

Everyone has to come dressed as their favorite invention.

Martha, you're invited, too.

Me?

Really?

My first party!

I know just what invention I'm coming as, too.

The doggie door!

Pets come and go as they please.

And look, Ma-- no hands.

It's the greatest invention since meat.

Here we are.

Wait, wait.

The party's at Alice's house?

What's wrong?

Nelson!

He-He lives here.

And that cat is trouble.

I'm sure you can handle one little kitty cat, Martha.

Well... HELEN: Come on.

You'll have fun.

Anyway, how much trouble could he be?

ALICE: I hope you guys are ready for this.

My parents really got into the whole invention thing.

It's my own invention-- lemonade to the tenth power.

Yow!

Sour!

Ugh!

ALICE: They even hired a robot birthday clown.

What kind of animal do you like?

A wiener dog?

One wiener dog.

They finally invented something scarier than a real clown.

(balloon pops) Hey, everyone!

Game time!

Who wants to play "Pin the Tail on the Donkey"?

(gasping) I've got an even better game.

It's called "Give the Dog a Biscuit."

MARTHA: Make sure it's good and tight.

I can't see a thing!

(chomping) A winner!

I didn't even start yet.

(barking playfully) (meow) Oh.

Hi, Nelson.

What do you want?

(meows) Yeah.

Dogs can pick up a lot with their mouths.

So what?

(meows) Sure, I could pick up that rock.

(meows) "Prove it"?

No problem.

(chomps) (muffled): See?

No problem.

(meows) You?

Aw... Of course I could pick you up.

Easy.

What?!

What did I do?

(meows) You shouldn't bite Nelson, Martha.

I didn't bite him!

I'm innocent.

Aw, poor Nelson.

Look, there's slobber in his fur.

Well, you try putting a whole cat in your mouth and see if you don't get... some... uh...

This doesn't sound good, does it?

(moans) I'm innocent!

They're all biased.

They assume I'm guilty and the cat is innocent without even hearing my side of the story.

Martha, I'm sure you weren't trying to hurt Nelson, but Ronald would feel better if you stayed in here.

I've been framed, I tell ya.

I've been falsely accused.

The cat set me up.

Look, you've had a lot of biscuits.

Why don't you take a nap?

I'll come get you later.

All right.

I'll nap.

But I won't like it.

This is totally... (snoring) An electronic piñata?

My dad says it's the latest thing.

The only drag is... PIÑATA: Felicidades!

You win!

...the candy's electronic, too.

MRS. BOXWOOD: Oh, no!

What's the matter, Mom?

Someone ate part of your birthday cake.

Oh, honey, I'm sorry.

It's ruined.

Well, at least I didn't do it this time.

Who could have done this?

Hmm, some animal, it appears.

Animal?

Hmm... Aha!

Look.

Right in front of her.

Cake crumbs!

(yawning) Oh, hey.

(slurping) Yum!

Admit it-- you're guilty.

You ate that cake.

(slurping) Cake?

Where?!

Don't try to act innocent.

You ate my sister's birthday cake.

She's innocent!

She wasn't there!

She wasn't anywhere near!

She was sleeping!

I'm hungry!

Quiet.

There's only one way to find out the truth.

Put that dog on trial.

On trial?

It's the only way to find out what really happened, 'cause in a trial, you have to tell the truth.

Aha!

I'll be the judge.

Oh, no, you won't!

We need someone who's not biased to be the judge.

Who's biased?

Me?

Obviously you're biased.

You've already made up your mind that Martha did it.

Truman, you be the judge.

The rest of us will be the jury, and we'll decide if Martha is guilty or innocent.

Order in the court!

All right.

Present your evidence to the jury.

First off, we all know that cats are better than dogs.

Dogs have fleas.

They stink... Hey!

Order.

Order!

That's not evidence.

Well, it's what's wrong with dogs.

Evidence isn't just your opinion.

Evidence is something that would help prove that Martha's guilty of the crime.

Evidence.

Like the cake crumbs, you mean?

Precisely.

There were cake crumbs around Martha.

That proves she ate the cake.

It's an open and shut case.

Open and shut is right!

The garage door was shut.

How could Martha open it?

(imitates dramatic music): Dum-dum-dum!

Ooh!

He's right.

I'm hungry.

(bangs gavel): Order!

Then there's the matter of those crumbs.

Martha, you like crumbs, don't you?

That's true!

I call them floor food.

Why would Martha leave all those crumbs?

Answer: She wouldn't!

Obviously, someone wanted Martha to look guilty.

Someone who had it in for Martha from the very beginning.

Someone like... ...Nelson!

Dum-dum-dum!

RONALD: Nelson?

How could he do it?

Just look at him.

He's so cute.

(meows sweetly) Aw!

Qué lindo!

Well, it's true.

He is cute.

Hang on.

You said a dog couldn't open a door, right?

That's right.

Well, then, how could a cat?!

He's right.

It's impossible.

I'm hungry!

(mocking): Dum-dum-dum.

Yeah, well, how do we know that the door was even opened?

What are you saying?

Uh... Oh!

Wait!

I know.

Here's how it went...

The cat ate the cake.

(snoring) Huh?

(meows) (snoring) (sighs in relief) So you see, members of the jury, the garage door never had to be opened at all.

That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.

That dog is guilty.

She ate the cake!

(pitiful meowing) Hey, what's wrong with Nelson?

(Nelson coughing) Nelson!

Ew!

Gross!

Okay, I'm not hungry anymore.

Look at this, you guys.

Ugh!

What is it?

It's... a birthday candle?

You ate my cake, Nelson?

Maybe you should take him to the vet.

He might have swallowed more.

Good thinking, Martha.

We got another cake!

Mom, we have to take Nelson to the vet!

I'll explain on the way.

Now can we eat?

Has the jury reached a verdict?

ALL: Not guilty!

You're acquitted, Martha, and exonerated of all charges.

Huh?

In other words, you're innocent.

In that case, I declare this trial... (gasping) closed!

(yells) ALL: Ew!

Yum.

What a party!

Thanks for coming to my party, you guys.

Sorry about putting you on trial and all, Martha.

Oh, that's okay.

It was fun.

I'd still like to know how those cake crumbs got in the garage.

You don't think Nelson actually... ALL: Nah.

It's not possible.

I guess it'll just have to remain a mystery.

Poor little fella.

Maybe I need to take an X ray to make sure you didn't eat any more of those nasty candles.

Oh!

He only ate one.

You witnessed him eat it?

Witnessed?

You saw it happen?

Oh!

I didn't witness Nelson eating the candle.

But I witnessed Nelson going into the house.

Uh-huh.

And I witnessed the candle coming out of Nelson.

He might have eaten more candles.

Since you didn't actually witness him eating.

Yeah, but my sister's only ten.

Huh?

And there were nine candles left in the cake.

Ah.

So only one was missing.

Nine plus one makes ten.

Ten candles on the birthday cake.

(Nelson throwing up) And one to grow on?

Sorry you had to witness that.

But Helen, I should be there.

You need me.

You know dogs aren't allowed in the Squiggy Piggy Mart.

It's the rules.

I'll be right back.

We should move to France.

French dogs get to go everywhere.

They live like kings.

Kings!

Cookie...

Bow wow.

Yes!

Doggies say "bow wow."

Can you say "doggy"?

Here.

Let me clean you up a bit.

(giggling) Ahem!

That's one smart baby you've got there.

Tasty, too.

(sighs) Out of the way, you mutt.

I'm telling you, this job's going to be a piece of cake.

Yeah, like taking candy from a baby.

(dreamily): Ah, candy... mmm.

Take!

Baby!

That poor baby.

Don't worry, baby!

No one's taking your candy while I'm around.

Oh!

Helen!

Good!

Quick!

Untie me!

We've got to stop a crime!

Crime?

Whoa!

I overheard two men discussing some plot.

There was candy and babies.

Cake!

We've got to act fast.

But...!

Too late!

They got all the cake and probably that poor baby's candy, too.

Duck!

Martha!

Nobody robbed this store.

It closed last month, remember?

Oh... right.

(yells) You looking for something, kid?

No.

My silly dog thought the store was being robbed.

Are you gentlemen opening a new store?

What's it going to be?

Plumbing.

Flowers.

Flowers.

Plumbing flowers?

It's a flower shop that sells plumbing stuff.

It's easier to keep your flowers watered that way.

(quietly): Hmm.

Good one.

Now beat it, kid.

Will you?

I'm positive those guys are criminals.

They were really suspicious-looking.

Suspicious?

Yeah.

It seemed like they were lying.

I don't trust them.

And if that's not suspicious enough for you, they said they were going to take candy from a baby.

Martha, that's just a figure of speech.

You know, an expression?

A funny way of saying something.

Huh?

Not following you.

Okay, "taking candy from a baby" just means you think something is going to be easy to do.

But I'm positive those guys are up to no good.

How can you be positive?

Plumbing-flower shop?

That doesn't seem suspicious to you?

It's possible.

It's also possible that they're plotting a crime.

We got to trip them up.

Whoa!

(sheepishly): Oops.

Sorry.

I think Martha's right.

Something smells fishy.

MARTHA: Yeah?

(sniffs): Yeah, that might be me.

I rolled in something earlier.

I thought it was frog, but maybe it was fish.

It's an expression.

If you say "it smells fishy," it means you think it's suspicious.

(barking) Hey!

Watch where you're going!

(barks) (gasps) I could so have caught it!

I'm busy thinking.

I'm trying to uncover a plot.

(barking) No.

Not a plot of land.

A "plot" like a plan.

I think these guys we saw are criminals.

And they're planning to commit a crime, I'm sure of it.

Like they might be plotting to rob a bank or something.

Ow!

Ow!

Believe me, the only thing those guys are plotting is how to open a plumbing-flower shop.

D.J.

(on radio): This just in!

Police say to be on the lookout for expert safecracker Louie Kablooie and his accomplice, Jimmy Gimmie.

The criminals are believed to be in the area plotting a robbery.

That jewelry store is wide open for a hit.

Those two are Louie Kablooie and Jimmie Gimmie.

I'm positive.

But if they're robbing the jewelry store, what are they doing in this empty store?

You're right, that's...

Wait a minute, I know.

I saw it in an old movie.

The jewelry store is here.

And the empty store is here.

So what they're going to do is: go into the basement of the store, dig a tunnel under the street and right into the jewelry store basement.

Then they torch a hole in the safe... and make off with the stash.

I told you it would be easy pickin's.

Pickings?

There are fruit trees in the basement?

It's an expression.

It's an expression.

So what do we do?

Simple.

I'll sneak in there... mess with their map.

So instead of digging into the jewelry store, they dig right into the public swimming pool.

The second they hit the water, it sloshes them back through the tunnel... and up through a manhole, where we'll be waiting with the cops.

(siren wailing) Tell me that's not a perfect plan.

HELEN: One problem.

The pool is two blocks away.

They'd have to dig for weeks to get there.

I'm willing to wait.

Maybe we should tell the police.

If we're going to convince the police that these guys are crooks, we need some proof.

Proof?

You know, evidence-- something that proves they did the crime.

I've got an idea.

So what are you guys going to do with that karaoke machine?

Sing until they surrender?

No.

This has a built-in camera so you can make your own music videos and stuff.

If those guys do anything suspicious, we can record it and give it to the police as proof they're criminals.

You guys sure that you want to be my accomplices?

How are we going to be accomplices?

Isn't an accomplice a person who helps somebody else do something wrong?

Well, snooping is wrong.

Yeah, but we're snooping to stop a crime.

So it seems more like we're partners than accomplices.

Okay.

Partners?

ALL: Partners.

(yelling) (crash) Hi, Mom.

Aw... Oh.

Hey, be sure and get my good side.

Martha!

Louie Kablooie, eh?

This isn't like when you thought robots had taken over the toy store, is it?

No, sir.

We've got evidence.

But in my defense, those robot costumes?

They were really good.

Just take a look.

We've got proof.

It's Kablooie and his accomplice, all right.

♫Oh, where, oh, where has my little dog gone?♫ ♫Oh, where, oh, where can she be?♫ ♫With my ears cut short and my...♫ Okay, I've seen enough.

No.

Wait.

You'll miss my big finish.

♫Oh, where, oh, where can she be♫ (imitating beat box): ♫Be-uh-e buh-buh-buh- be-uh-ee...♫ I don't know what happened.

I must have hit the wrong track.

They're on here somewhere.

Sure, sure.

Look, don't worry about it.

We'll go by and check it out.

(gasps) (gasps) How's it going?

All's quiet, Chief.

Keep watching.

All evidence suggests Kablooie is planning to rob that jewelry store today.

He better hurry up.

An armored car is coming at 4:00 to pick up the jewels.

If we're right about this plot, Kablooie should strike in the next hour.

Oh, and try not to be so obvious.

A couple kids spotted you.

(laughs) They think you're Kablooie.

Huh?

What's going on?

Why isn't he arresting them?

How much proof do they need?

Well, it's in the hands of the police now.

Let's go home.

I can't just let those guys rob the jewelry store.

I got to do something.

Kablooie's going to walk right into our trap, as long as things stay nice and quiet.

MARTHA: Louie Kablooie, come out with your hands up.

I repeat.

Come out with your hands... (feedback) ♫Be-uh-e buh-buh-buh- be-uh-ee...♫ Uh-oh.

You mean, you're a policeman?

Officer O'Reilly is working undercover with Officer Minetti.

They're trying to catch Kablooie and his accomplice robbing that jewelry store.

Gee.

I'm sorry I was suspicious of you, officer.

I feel just awful.

MINETTI: There's the armored car.

Guess we were wrong about Kablooie.

He must be hitting a jewelry store somewhere else.

Guess our work is done.

Oh... Not only did I blow the case, but I'm getting Helen's toy kind of slobbery, too.

(gasps) Holy sausages.

It's Louie Kablooie!

That... that's Louie Kablooie!

Oh, no.

The police have gone!

There's only one thing to do.

(barking and howling) (barking) (chuckles) See?

Piece of cake.

But boss...

I didn't get no cake.

I only got jewels.

Hey, it's just an expression, you nitwit.

(dogs barking) What's all the racket?

Something's fishy.

(sniffing) (barking grows louder) (both gasping) (barking and growling) Way to go, Leon.

Keep Mr. Kablooie and his accomplice in line.

Rinty, Cisco, grab those bags of jewels.

We'll need them as proof.

(siren wailing) (barking continues) MAN: Our top story of the evening.

Today, the infamous robber Louie Kablooie was apprehended by the police, along with his accomplice, Jimmie Gimmie.

The police were overheard to say that they were aided in their surveillance efforts by a secret crime-fighting partner.

They wouldn't reveal the identity, saying she's only known by her codename: Martha.

Good evening and welcome to the news.

Stunning developments today in the trial of Louis Kablooie and James "Gimmie" Moore.

Local dog Martha testified.

She witnessed the pair committing the crime.

Kablooie insisted he was not guilty of robbing the bank.

Then he said: "Actually, I am not Louie Kablooie.

I am Zor from the planet Pluto."

"Oh yeah?"

said the judge.

"Well, I'm really Justice Man.

Pluto isn't even a planet anymore."

"Oh yeah?

Take that.

And that.

And that."

(Helen clears throat) Um... None of that happened.

The jury found Kablooie guilty and he went to jail.

That's all.

Good-bye.