Season 3 | Episode 1

♪ ♪ JAKE: What's happening?

We're going home.

♪ ♪ MAGGIE: Where are they?

JAKE: But I'm, I'm not involved in this.

You're involved.

♪ ♪ STEVIE: This could make your career.

Or ruin it.

MAN: That way!

(chokes, gun clicks) (tires squeal, Kenny yelps) You look tired, son.

MAX (over phone): Hiya, Kenny.

No!

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ (thunder claps) (whimpers) (click) ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ (sirens wailing in distance) ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ (young men laughing) (jeering and joking) MAN: What is going on here?

You all right, dear?

Bit early for Halloween, you know.

(laughing and joking) What is this, (inaudible)?

Whoa.

Hey, hey, hey.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

MAN: Calm down, calm down.

Put it down.

It's not funny.

Hey, Danny, come on.

Come on, just walk away.

(gun cocks) Danny, come on.

I don't think they're joking.

Leave it.

Danny.

(gun clicks) Come on, Danny, let's go!

MAN 2: Come on, Danny!

♪ ♪ (panting) (panting) ♪ ♪ (grunting, panting) (panting) MAN: Come on, this way!

♪ ♪ (panting) ♪ ♪ (gasping) (grunts, panting) DANNY: We've lost her.

MAN: Where does she live?

DANNY: I don't know, she's allas about.

MAN 2: I know where she lives.

Let's go.

(panting) (gasping) (keys jingling) (panting) Here she is.

Your gun was a piece of (muted).

Did you think I was gonna give you a real gun?

You could've given me one that made a (muted) noise!

I paid good money for that.

SKYE: They're coming!

No, they wouldn't.

Not to my home.

This is not your home.

That's enough of your cheek!

You'll have given them a wee scare.

They'll leave us alone now.

What's happening?

SKYE: Go to bed, Mum!

How can I, with all the shouting?

Go to bed, love, this is between me and her.

What does that mean?

(door opening) MAN: Where is she?

Which one is it?

MAN 2: Up the stairs.

MAN 3: This way, man!

(muted) Aye, that's enough of the language.

You don't go to university to use language like that.

Go to bed, Mum!

AL: They're not coming here!

(door slams) They're a bunch of bloody kids.

They'll not come to the door of Big Al McKee.

(panting) (door squeaks open) ♪ ♪ (panting) MAN: This door here.

It's that way.

Aye.

Aye, it's this one.

(knocking on door) AL: You boys are making a big mistake!

You don't come to Leith and try and take out Big Al McKee!

You must be off your bloody rockers!

You tell Maggie she can't push me about, not without Roy!

(screaming): She's nothing without Roy!

(Al screaming, body thuds) ♪ ♪ Tell her I'll be back.

(breathing heavily) (Carrie wails) (Carrie crying) CARRIE (screaming): Oh, no, no, no, no!

Al!

♪ ♪ (horn honks in distance) (alarm clock ringing) (alarm stops ringing) ("Peaches" by The Stranglers playing) (sighs) (sirens wailing in distance) ♪ ♪ ("Peaches" continues) ♪ Strolling along, minding my own business ♪ ♪ Well there goes a girl and a half ♪ ♪ She's got me going up and down ♪ ♪ She's got me going up and down ♪ (train rumbling in distance) ♪ Walking on the beaches looking at the peaches ♪ ♪ ♪ (safe keypad beeping) (safe unlocks) ("Peaches" continues) ♪ Down on the beaches ♪ ♪ Just look at all the peaches ♪ ♪ Down on the beaches ♪ ♪ Just look at all the brown bodies ♪ ♪ Down on the beaches ♪ ♪ Just look at all the sunglasses ♪ ♪ Down on the beaches ♪ ♪ Just look at all the peaches ♪ ♪ Down on the beaches ♪ ♪ Just look at all the peaches ♪ ♪ Down on the beaches ♪ ♪ Just look at all the peaches ♪ ♪ Down on the beaches ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ Mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ Mm, mm, mm, mm, mm ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ Mm ♪ ♪ Mm ♪ ♪ Mm, mm, mm, mm ♪ ♪ ♪ ("Peaches" continues) (song ends) JAKE: I know what you're gonna say.

Why are they still there?

I'm in advanced talks with a novelty costume store who say they might be able to go up to $2.00 a hat.

Is this working for you, Jake?

That's what I'm trying to... No, I mean this-- a crappy apartment, you going broke with your (muted) brother.

(chuckles) You and I are bohemians.

We reject societal rules.

We don't care for material possessions.

Well, it'd be nice to have material possessions to not care about.

Other than the (muted) fezzes.

I'm working on the fez situation.

And I'm stacking shelves all night and studying for college all day to try and build something, to try to save us, but the more I try to save us, the more it feels like we are sinking, and the more I think that I'm sinking because you are dragging me down.

That's what's going on for me, Jake, while you work on the fez situation.

I recognize and respect your frustration.

Look, you're a good guy, and we had fun, I think.

It's kind of a distant memory.

No, no, no.

Not that.

How can it not be that?

I'll do something, okay?

I'll do something.

What?

What are you gonna do?

Well, I...

I could...

I don't know, I mean, you're putting me on the spot a wee bit.

Go to the bar, Jake.

And only come back here when you have a better answer than that.

(door opens) (door closes) MAX (voiceover): The end is coming.

You should prepare accordingly.

This place was going okay before you came along.

No, it was going appallingly, as was your bookkeeping.

Things'll pick up.

There's no basis for that theory.

A more reliable theory is that I continue in this horrific existence, stuck here with you, while things do not pick up.

I've got some ideas.

Are these ideas of a similar quality to Turkish Mondays?

Turkish Mondays, as a premise, was essentially flawless.

(sighs) I know about the fezzes, Jake.

I found the invoice.

Do you, a grown man, currently live with 500 fezzes?

You're not stuck here.

Roy Lynch is dead.

You could go back to Edinburgh.

Happily pack your bags.

Roy Lynch being dead is the reason I can't go back to Edinburgh because Maggie Lynch will be somewhat angry about that fact.

And if I returned, that anger would be visited, with some force, upon me.

I can't tell Angie that we've gone bust.

Now's not a good time for bad news.

You don't have to.

Not yet, at least.

(exhales) (sniffs) Who are this lot?

It's fair to say we've reached the bottom strata of lenders.

This lot are mad enough to give us a last few quid.

If the end is coming, I wonder how you've prepared.

Because you'll have a plan for that.

And if you're not telling me, then that suggests that it's at my expense.

Again.

I've slept above a pub for a year and grafted like a madman trying to make this work, trying to make you and I work.

To move past guilt, revenge, seek redemption.

Look where it's got me.

If I had a better plan, I'd have probably used it by now.

(keypad beeping) (safe beeps) (safe beeps) (safe handle clatters) (Max whistling Frankie Miller's "Darlin'") (whistling continues) (whistling continues) (whistling) ♪ ♪ (whistling) (safe beeping) (safe beeps) ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ How did you get this?

I found his weakness.

After 40 years, I found his weakness.

So he's raised, what... 300 grand.

In credit, using the bar as collateral and tucked it away in a different account.

Which is in my name.

So, if he gets caught, you take the fall.

And if he doesn't, you lose the pub, and he slips away with the money.

Got to hand it to Max, he really commits to screwing you.

You told me to come up with something, and I have.

The account's in my name.

So we take the money, we go, leave Max here, in a pub going bust, with no visa.

You finish your course, maybe I get back into the vinyl game.

(door opens) Max.

Yoko.

We know, Max.

You know what?

About the money.

We know that you hid it.

We found it, and now we've taken it.

That money was an investment opportunity.

I was gonna tell you about it when it was too late for you to cock it up like you've done now.

Well, don't worry, we'll invest it wisely.

JAKE: Good luck with this place.

Jake, wait.

If you got that money, Max would find a way to take it, and you'd let him do so.

You've had a lifetime to shake him, and you haven't managed it.

Why would I believe you could do it now?

(sirens approaching) Someone's got to come out of this with something, and there's only me left.

(sirens getting louder) (sighs) Good luck, Jake.

(door opens and closes) (police radio chatter) What's happening?

We're going home.

(footsteps approaching) ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ Almonds.

Sorry?

I've been reading about how almonds are good for, you know, giving the wee lads a bit of a gee up.

(laughing): Oh, for God's sake.

I'm just saying, it's worth a go.

It's all grist for the mill, no pun intended.

I'm not sure if that is a pun, to be fair, is it?

Kenny, you've got kids.

It'll happen.

Hmm.

What you need to do is relax... (exhales) ...avoid stress, and in the meantime... (phone ringing) ...enjoy the process.

Oh, I'm enjoying the process.

Mm.

I'd hope so.

Hi.

Yeah, sure.

I was gonna go and pay a visit after lunch.

That way, I think she will be there.

Yeah.

(door closes) (inhales deeply) (footsteps, quick sniffing) (sniffing) ♪ ♪ I've been reading this book.

About Zen.

(chuckling): Ah, Teddy, I didn't, didn't see you there.

What I'm hoping is that by finding a wee bit of Zen, it'll help me with the anger.

Because the anger is no longer compatible with my lifestyle.

Well, glad to hear that.

(chuckles) We are growing the purest organically cultivated marijuana in Scotland.

And when it's legalized, we'll be first out the traps to get licensed.

Aye, that's right, Teddy.

But then, I see you about to put a cigarette in your mouth.

And I think of the toxins you'll release into the atmosphere for the plants to absorb, for the plants to be poisoned by.

And I'll be honest with you, pal, there's a wee battle going on in my head between Zen and something really awful happening to you right now.

Do you want to know who's winning?

Have to say, Teddy, I'm hoping it's Zen.

Zen's shading it, mate.

Zen's shading it.

But there's not much in it.

MAN: Teddy?

(exhales) Hi, there.

Hello.

We've not met.

No.

I knew the old owners.

Right.

We've had a few calls.

About the amount of traffic during the night.

Is it against the law to have visitors?

People live here for the quiet.

And now they can't sleep.

They should try meditation.

If you get it right, then a brass band wouldn't wake you up.

Can I have a look around?

Have you got a search warrant?

I could get one, but surely we don't have to go down that road.

♪ ♪ Get a search warrant, and I'll show you round myself.

SIR JIM STURROCK (voiceover): Community.

That's one thing Leith has always had.

When I grew up here, just down the street by the Boundary Bar, we didn't have money, but we had a community.

We looked out for each other, we helped each other.

Sometimes we cut a few corners.

Sorry, constable.

It's sergeant.

I hope this community center can do the same.

I hope it provides a wee bit of help, a wee arm round the shoulder, a place for the people of Leith to come and hold those in authority to account.

So, I might be here making this gift, but it is me that is saying thank you to the people of Leith for making me the man I am today.

Thank you.

(applause) What have you got there, son?

Is that me?

Yes.

Goodness me, what a great picture.

♪ ♪ (sighs) CAROL: No one saw anything.

No one's claiming him.

YVONNE: He's local?

No, not this local.

Lives a mile away.

Decent record, mostly drugs.

And, uh, this was in his pocket.

Every other dealer is lacing their stuff with spice and all sorts of toxic (muted).

This lot are growing it as clean as it comes.

When it's legalized, they can sell this the next day.

Let's ask them again.

(people talking in background) MAGGIE: A community policeman.

How the mighty have fallen.

I could say the same.

Didn't think you'd ever be out shaking folk down.

I'm just a poor widow looking for a wee bit of light in the darkness.

(scoffs) Call this officer at Borders Police.

Tell him the address he visited this morning is subject to an active Lothian Police investigation and to stay away.

Why would I do that?

Because you have a sickness.

Not any more, I don't.

There's a moneylender in Falkirk who would disagree with that.

You have to go a wee bit further than Falkirk, son, for me not to know about it.

There's a horse running at Musselburgh on Tuesday.

They've been overweighting it, letting the odds drift.

On Tuesday, they're lifting the shackles.

Make the call, and you'll get the horse's name.

(plane engine roaring overhead) (P.A.

announcer speaking indistinctly) P.A.

ANNOUNCER: ...due to a technical issue.

We apologize for the inconvenience and will update you as soon as possible.

Do you think that's it?

For me and Angie?

(laughs) Yes, Jake.

Seeing as she stole all your money and had you deported, I would respectfully suggest that your relationship has ended.

I'm not saying it wouldn't be a long... Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake.

Concentrate.

We need to get out of the airport, we need to get a taxi to Haymarket, we need to get a train out of Edinburgh before Maggie Lynch knows we were here.

Tram.

What?

We can get a tram to Haymarket.

We're not getting a tram.

It's cheaper than a taxi.

Because it's a tram.

What will it take for you to realize that the life you had before is gone, Max?

What will it take for you to stop trying to get it back?

Jake... it's very important and, indeed, mutually beneficial that one of us doesn't see failure as a natural bedfellow.

Dick.

(tone chiming) How are you this morning?

Traveling together?

Aye, for now.

(computer scanning) (beeping) (clears throat) That will be telling you we were deported from America and flagging up some minor parole violations on my part.

However, as a lawyer, I can tell you that neither of those things give you the right to bar, or, or even... delay our re-entry into our beloved home nation of Scotland.

Come with me, please, gentlemen.

(whispering): No, no, no, look.

Um, I, I don't want to threaten you, but, um, I have a legal representative who could have you out of a job by the end of the day.

(knocking) (paper sliding) One phone call each.

(door echoes) How's work?

Are you taking the piss?

You're lucky to have it, Stevie.

So are you.

We've both got something in the locker.

What do you want?

I have some information.

And when I give it to you, I want you to put in a word for me when my disciplinary comes up, get me back in a proper role.

If you have information of investigatory interest to C.I.D., then you give it to me as a senior C.I.D.

officer, and go back to telling kids how to cross the road.

That's how it works.

Not with this.

This is big enough to get you another bump, Yvonne.

I'm just asking you to let me come in from the cold, in return.

I'm not giving you any promises, Stevie.

What I am giving you is the chance to be a (muted) policeman.

(muttering): Come on... (phone chiming) Leith Legals.

MAX (on phone): Hiya, Kenny... No!

(call ends, beeping) (phone chiming) Hello.

JAKE (on phone): Hi, Kenny.

Oh, Christ, there's two of them.

Kenny, listen, we're in a spot of bother here.

All I need you to do... Max, Max.

Let me tell you about my sperm.

They're good lads, they've come up trumps in the past.

But they're old, and they're tired, and they're easily distracted.

And what they need is peace and quiet.

To gather themselves, before one last... hurrah.

And having contact, of any nature, with you two, is not going to give me or the lads downstairs the necessary peace and quiet that we require.

(call ends) What'd he say?

He talked, largely, about his sperm.

PASSPORT OFFICER: Right...

Wait in there, lads.

JAKE: So what happens now?

I don't know.

But when being sent back to prison isn't the worst outcome available, things aren't great.

Why don't we... Just... let me think, Jake.

I'll sort it.

1981.

What?

It's your code, for the safe.

Good year for the Hibs.

We finished tenth and got knocked out of the Scottish Cup by Albion Rovers.

Is this you letting me think, Jake?

Because it doesn't feel like this is you letting me think.

1981 was the year that Dad left.

Was it?

You know that.

Dad leaving was a great day.

Dad leaving made me the man I am.

Yep.

Think it did.

(door beeps) You were right.

I've got no jurisdiction over this stuff, so... (cheerfully): Oh.

Well, you look very smart in your uniform.

You're free to go.

I'll walk you out, I'll get you past the queues.

It's the least you can do.

KENNY: Oh God, this brings it back.

(chuckles) Greatest days of my life.

I thought you were here for, like, a week.

A month.

You hang in here, Skye, remember what I told you about my regrets.

You've definitely told me your regrets, Uncle Kenny.

(sighing): Aye.

Your mum called.

Said you were in a bit of trouble.

What's the problem?

Your girlfriend's job.

We don't discuss our work.

Too much conflict.

There's plenty that comes across my desk that has tested that policy.

I'm sure it's the same for her, and we've never had a problem.

I've been selling weed.

(quietly): For Christ's sake, Skye.

Why would you do that?

Because I didn't fancy graduating with 40 grand of debt.

I suppose it, it gave me a way in, with the others.

Where did you get it?

Did you hear about last night, at the flats?

Yeah.

That was your sister's new man.

Right, uh... she didn't mention that bit.

He got me the weed.

I sold it, he passed on the money.

Except it turned out that he didn't pass on the money.

When they chased us for it, he reckoned we could scare them off.

I think it's fair to say that didn't work.

How much do you owe?

20 grand.

(sighs) I don't have it, pal.

There's this whole price war on wills kicking off...

If you had it, I wouldn't take it.

This is for me to sort out.

Who do you owe?

There's not many people I know who deserve more than they've got out of life, Uncle Kenny, but you are one of them.

And I don't want to be the cause of you losing what you have.

I'm not losing anything.

Tell me who you owe.

Duck out this way, boys.

(door unlocking) Good luck, Max.

(jet engines screeching) ♪ ♪ KENNY: Which one's in charge?

The good-looking one.

That's inappropriate.

No point denying it.

Mm.

(car door shuts) ♪ ♪ What was that?

Could be nothing... (car door shuts) Could be everything.

(engine rumbling) What are you gonna do?

I'm gonna find out who you owe.

'Cause it's not them.

And you're gonna go back to the university, and you're gonna stick it out.

I know that's not easy.

I know that place offers an unusually high percentage of bellends, but our family's gonna produce one person who has a chance at a good life.

And, as mental as this sounds, that's fallen on you.

Okay?

Thanks, Uncle Kenny.

(car door shuts) (car passes by) What will she do to you?

Nothing, I'll sort it.

And I wouldn't excuse yourself entirely from proceedings.

I'm not involved.

Well, you're an involuntary passenger in the back of a van, you're involved.

See, every time I think you're done destroying my life, you find a way to make it worse.

Have you ever considered that you might be partially responsible?

You would have ruined me just to give yourself half a chance.

What would you have done, if I'd told you I was fraudulently raising capital against the pub?

I don't know.

Yes, you do.

You'd have panicked, you'd have confessed.

It's not impossible that you would've soiled yourself.

I was gonna split the money with you, Jake.

And if you'd let me explain, if you'd come to me instead of her, then maybe we wouldnae be sitting here now.

If we hadn't hit Walter, we wouldn't be sitting here right now.

I'm not gonna dignify that with an answer, other than to say you hit Walter.

How's that not an answer?

(stammering): You hang on to things, don't you?

You let 'em get inside you.

It's not healthy.

I'm not the only one who does that.

I'll sort it.

Well, if you do, then I'm off.

First chance I get.

Let's hope you get the chance.

♪ ♪ (inaudible chatter) ♪ ♪ (window sliding up) ♪ ♪ You look well.

Mm.

The wonderful thing about dementia is you can forget you ever had it at all.

And then you throw in a wee bit of physiotherapy and, well, pfft, I feel 20 years younger.

And I need to be.

You left us with nothing, Max.

We've had to be creative, we've had to work hard.

Lots to do, and only me to do it.

JAKE: Can I just clarify that I'm, I'm, I'm not involved in this... You're involved.

MAX: This is a mistake.

Let me help you rectify it.

(scoffs) Forgive my impertinence, but a man who flew into Edinburgh carrying all his worldly possessions in one bag doesn't strike me as having an enormous amount of leverage.

I know what you are.

You always did.

And it didnae help you much the last time, now did it?

Well, things change.

(doors sliding open) Not much.

♪ ♪ ROY: I've always loved it down here, in the Borders.

Because of the reivers.

You'll know about the reivers?

They ran the border for hundreds of years.

Riding out of the mist, stealing whatever they wanted, slipping away.

They're ghosts.

They weren't English, they weren't Scottish, they were something in between.

So I thought it was a good place for me to come, Max.

Seeing as I'm a ghost.

Seeing as I'm not dead, and I'm not alive.

I'm something in between.

The police said you were dead.

The police said I was missing, presumed dead.

Which isn't hard for a man like me to arrange.

You gave me a great gift.

You gave me a chance to rebuild.

You gave me a tactical retreat.

He knew my dad.

They killed your brother.

You know about dads, Maxie.

In prison, I heard you cry for yours.

Let us go, Roy.

(laughs) You were always ambitious.

I know a lot about your money.

More than you think I do.

Why do you think you're here?

You tried to kill me, Max.

You tried to ruin us.

And you cost me my daughter.

That can only end one way.

But, in better news... it will be quick.

It knocks out a bull.

It'll do worse to you two.

(stun gun clatters, beeps) (phone vibrating) (phone clicks) The police are outside.

Take Maggie over the fields, I'll draw them away.

Nothing changes.

Roy.

Whatever's needed.

(Roy assents) ♪ ♪ That was extremely vague.

Could've meant anything, that.

Shut up.

Why don't you go now, we'll say you weren't even here.

Sit down.

This isn't loyalty.

This is stupidity.

This is... (beeps) this is staying on a sinking ship when the captain's rowing for shore.

Go, now.

Run.

You'll let me... (exhales) You can be free.

You can, you can have a, a new life, away from this bull(muted), away from the Lynches... Whoa... (splashing, electricity crackling) (pained shouting) That's sheep dip, Max!

(shouting continues) That's chemicals!

I've blinded him!

Well done.

JAKE: I'm sorry, big man.

(groaning) I know it sounds daft, but... can you blink it out?

Let's go.

Try blinking it out!

(pained screaming continues) ("Drug Train" by The Cramps playing) ♪ Hey people!

♪ (sirens wailing) ♪ All aboard the drug train ♪ OFFICER: Armed Police.

(tires skidding) ♪ Going to Plasteredville ♪ ♪ Anyville, and Miltown ♪ OFFICER: Police, stay where you are.

♪ We're on the drug train now ♪ (exclaiming) Stop, stop!

♪ We're on the drug train ♪ (sirens wailing) ♪ Have a nice day ♪ (sirens wailing) ♪ We're on a drug train ♪ ♪ Now watch me get on board ♪ Come on, come on!

♪ I used to know where I was going ♪ ♪ Till I got on board the drug train ♪ (sirens continue) ♪ I'm gonna show you how ♪ (both grunting) ♪ To get on board ♪ ♪ You put one foot up ♪ ♪ You put another foot up ♪ (sirens wailing, indistinct talking) ♪ You put another foot up ♪ ♪ And you're on board the drug train ♪ ♪ Hey, people!

♪ (both grunting and struggling) ♪ ♪ (sirens wailing) ♪ ♪ ♪ I see Elvis with your mother ♪ ♪ On the drug train ♪ (sirens continue) ♪ Sherlock Holmes looks for clues ♪ ♪ There's something to do on the drug train ♪ ♪ Sigmund Freud is slipping and sliding ♪ ♪ With all of your friends ♪ ♪ On the drug train ♪ (song ends) OFFICER: Hands in the air.

Hands in the air!

I'm Roy Lynch.

And there will be no Saughton for me.

Gun sighted!

(gun firing in distance) (exhales) (brakes engages, engine stops) (leaves crunching) (engine starts) Hey, what're you doing?

Come back!

(whispering): This could make your career.

Or ruin it.

I'm just saying, don't forget me.

Carol?

Bag that phone.

Get the data, bring it straight to me.

I won't forget you, Stevie.

♪ ♪ (bag hits table) (sighs) (engine revving) (engine stops) Well?

The debt's yours now.

It was him that nicked it.

Yours now.

And mine.

(engine revving) (car speeding away) ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ It's over.

Let's do the deal, and let's do it quick.

(sets phone down) ♪ ♪ (sets glass down) (sighs) Where are we?

Where are we going?

If you want out, now would be the time to go.

Where are we going, Max?

We've got half a tank of petrol and the clothes on our backs.

We're going to the only place we can.

("It's Thunder and It's Lightning" by We Were Promised Jetpacks playing) ♪ Sitting with the lights off ♪ ♪ Waiting for my brain to storm ♪ ♪ Trying to work things out ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ It's thunder and it's lightning ♪ ♪ And it's all things too frightening ♪ ♪ I could barely see outside ♪ ♪ ♪ (music fades out) (click) ♪ ♪ RICHARD: You are going to Scotland.

We're buying a bank.

MAGGIE: A hundred grand for the two of them, or I offer a hundred grand for you.

How do I get to her?

If you thought it was that simple, you wouldn't be asking me.

Ready?

I am, but I'm not sure you are.

♪ ♪ ("It's Thunder and It's Lightning" continues) ANNOUNCER: Visit our website for videos, newsletters, podcasts, and more.

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