“I Finally Bought Some Jordans:” Michael Arceneaux on Family, Debt and Grief

BIANNA GOLODRYGA, SENIOR GLOBAL AFFAIRS ANALYST: It is indeed a wonderful play. Well, we turn now to an intimate exploration of race and class in America. As a black working-class gay man, cultural critic Michael Arceneaux has encountered many barriers in life and is an expert at using humor to highlight important but sometimes uncomfortable subjects. Well, now, the bestselling author is out with new collections of essays, “I Finally Bought Some Jordans,” reflecting on his journey, overcoming societal barriers from debt to hetero normality. He joined Michel Martin to discuss.

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MICHEL MARTIN, CONTRIBUTOR: Michael Arceneaux. Thank you so much for joining us.

MICHAEL ARCENEAUX, AUTHOR, “FINALLY BOUGHT SOME JORDANS”: Thank you so much for having me. I’m really happy to be here.

MARTIN: “I Finally Bought Some Jordans.” Why Jordans?

ARCENEAUX: Well, initially the book had a different title. I kind of — in my mind, but I would — I don’t say victory lab, but I thought I’d be like in a much happier space. But if you read the book, I talk about the play, which is how I referred to pandemic. I talk about a lot of grief. So, when my second book, “I Don’t Want to Die Poor,” a lot of people were interviewing me, essentially asking me, are you still poor? I didn’t know how to quite answer that question, but in the book — that’s my way of saying, essentially, like. I’m not exactly where I want to be, but I’m much further along than where I started and what way can I signify that in like a small but meaningful way? It kind of just happened to me, like, I need to buy some J’s. And that ended up becoming the book title and I think it ultimately kind of speaks to the spirit of the book, me trying to find like what I consider a little bright spots.

MARTIN: You were kind of the voice of a lot of people, I would say, in your essays and your cultural critique. I mean, you articulate a lot of people’s realities. How would you describe your writing for people who aren’t familiar with it?

ARCENEAUX: I really appreciate that. When I initially tried to sell “I Can’t Date Jesus,” my first book, because you have to kind of usually give people some kind of point of reference, I said, it’s like David Sedaris that had (INAUDIBLE). I think I write from a perspective that you don’t typically usually hear in this space. There are plenty of black writers, there are queer writers, but I think coming from a working-class, poor background, being from the south, I think my perspective is often like missing from the conversation, particularly about a lot of the topics that I write about. So, for me, I do, in some ways, try to at least bring perspectives of people who — whose voices I feel aren’t typically heard, that includes my own, but I do appreciate that because I do try to feel like lend voice to a lot of people that I don’t think get to exist in these spaces.

MARTIN: It seems to me that, in a way, yes, you’re writing from this perspective of who you are, you are black, you are queer, you are a millennial, you know, but you’re also a person who’s kind of like, what’s the bottom line here? What is this kind of really about? So, in that sense, for this third book, is there like a through line with your other two books?

ARCENEAUX: Yes, I think in terms of family, there is that through line. I write about loving your parents, but sometimes having complicated relationships, particularly due to faith or whatever issue there might be. I write about how important it is to kind of meet someone halfway who’s trying as best they can with the tools they have to reach out for me, that’s in terms of healing. And in hindsight, I didn’t realize I was foreshadowing that. But I am grateful for making sure I maintain contact with both my parents and really tried to engage and meet them have halfway because last year, I’m finishing the book and I’m revising it. My mother was diagnosed with cancer, and she died six months later, and some of what I write about going back to Texas after I left New York, not to move back, but to end up having extended stages, just really be present, that’s not that I’m never going to get back in my life. So, there’s the through line there. I think in terms of even, “I Finally Bought Some Jordans,” that has defined so much of my life and the shame attached to that. I write a lot about class and how poor people, but explicitly black poor people are taught not to treat themselves or to have shame, particularly me growing up in the ’90s, even if I didn’t have the means, I definitely heard, instead of spending money on Jordans, you need to do this. But yes, there are through lines through the book. I just really, again, want to be honest about my life and kind of take what things that have impacted me to kind of make sense of like the broader world around me. I wish, again, more people like me were given the space to do that.

MARTIN: And to really make kind of a hard pivot here, so, why did Toni Braxton block you?

ARCENEAUX: I am still trying to figure that out. And thank you for asking, because we got to get a campaign going. Like, I’m blocking Toni Braxton. I love you. How could an angel break my heart? Well, I think it’s a miscommunication. I was on Twitter, as one used to be, at least, I don’t tweet as much anymore. Some of the viewers understand why. And I think maybe some of my jokes might have not curled all the way over. I think compliments that I — like when I said she was the Sugar Avery of R&B, from the bottom of my heart, I meant that as a compliment. Her social media manager or Toni herself did not feel that way.

MARTIN: I should probably explain that that is the first essay in your latest collection and it’s titled, “Please Unblock Me, Toni Braxton.”

ARCENEAUX: Please unblock me, Ms. Toni Braxton.

MARTIN: But the essay just sort of goes on to kind of describe your sometimes fraught, shall we say, interactions with other black celebrities, and you kind of go time after time, these celebrities who, you know, you have expressed yourself about, and perhaps they got appreciated as much as you thought they might. So, how did this essay come about?

ARCENEAUX: Well, I was warned years ago that some of my biting as a scribe commentary might rope some people the wrong way, or as one person put it, you’re going to be in rooms with these people and probably sooner than you think you need to tone it down or watch what you say. And I always had that in the back of my mind, like, I’m aware people can see things on the internet and people even used to pick at me from the blog era. So, I got it. But I — that’s my way of — that was my realization writing that chapter is like, oh, no, I’m not as toned down as I think. And even if I am also being measured in criticism, we just kind of live in a climate now where criticism is very increasingly not well received, particularly smile on the lawn, different headlines, all these things. So, I’m acknowledging my commentary. But, you know, and some instances that I recount, you know, people that wanted to adapt my book, I’m like, that’s so exciting. You can change my life. You can help me get this other leg out of the hood. You can help me get some braces, whatever, all these things. But oh, wait, I talked about you and you might actually feel the way about it. But I would like it to my credit. If I’m given the opportunity, I will tell you directly what I said, and we can talk about it. I’m usually respectful. My mom raised me right. I got a slick mouth, but I’m mannerable. But yes, hopefully, someday I get to tell Toni Braxton, I am sorry.

MARTIN: You know, this — is this exchange kind of — in a way, kind of unlocks the Michael Arceneaux approach, which is, you know, you can have fun with people and you do kind of play with people a little bit, but you generally do have kind of a deeper message, even when you are kind of having fun and messing with people? And I wonder what you think that might be.

ARCENEAUX: You know, me even going to Howard, love Howard, most diverse place I’ve ever been. It was an adjustment because I was like, oh, I’m around TV black people. Like, I’ve never met black people this rich who might have attitudes, who grew up around white people primarily. I wouldn’t know about that. What is that like? When I went to New York and worked in media, media and entertainment just in general, most people cannot afford the sacrifices necessary to exist and thrive within those spaces. So, most people are either up or middle-class or rich, or if you’re even black and what we consider middle-class, that’s very much a privilege most people don’t have either. I write about the realities of social mobility. And for the most part, unless you already have it, it’s hard to actually have access to many of these spaces.

MARTIN: Well, give an example of that. Give an example. Why do you say that?

ARCENEAUX: If I didn’t take out a six-figure private student loan debt, I would have loved to funded it differently. But had I not taken on that debt to go to Howard, I probably would not be speaking to you today because my through line is that I met a lot of people who have helped me along the way that I otherwise wouldn’t have met from where I’m from in Houston. Most people like me, I feel like, don’t have the opportunity to speak back to people who often speak down to them. So, if I’m able to be in these spaces, if I’m able to actually be around all of these people and maybe influence them, or at least humanize what they assume about certain types of people, then for me, I’ve done my part.

MARTIN: I wanted to talk about a couple of the chapters of the book, one of them titled “Empty Symbols.” You express frustration at how the disillusionment felt by many millennials regarding our political system gets framed as misinformed, right. You write, “People have very real reasons to be disenchanted with the voting process, and they go far beyond, they don’t know any better. Apathy and cynicism are not innate qualities, they are byproducts of the conditions that place them there.” Could you just say more about that? Like what are some of the conditions that you’re talking about?

ARCENEAUX: Well, for me, I — there are a lot of reasons people feel like the government has failed them. And a lot of that was my frustration with the 2020 election and 2016. But going into 2024, I knew that what will happen in the fall is that a lot of people, particularly black people, particularly young people, will be lectured to and to be told, get up and vote, tell Pookie to vote. If you don’t vote, then this is all your fault. Well, a lot of people voted in the last two elections, and with all due respect, I understand the progress President Biden has made, but, you know, voting rights was supposed to be top priority. Was that passed? No. Was more pressure exerted on that as there were for other issues? No. But who will get blamed for that if they’re going to have trouble getting to the polls when they’re already probably barely motivated? Was anything done about police reform? That was the largest protest in the history of the country. What did it yield? The George Floyd bill was not passed. It left and died. More black people are being shot and harassed. What is the deal about that? And while I understand that the economy is relatively better compared to other nations, even the interest rate hikes, that comes at the expense of a lot of people already struggling to make due. So — and instead of just addressing those issues, people are told, oh, well, you should just be happy it’s not worse. People have a right to feel like just necessarily and voting a black mayor and it’s not going to do them any good. Because with all due respect, look at the New York mayor. A lot of black people did not vote for him to see more police on the street, to see the return of stop and frisk, and to see less access to libraries under the crop rise of budget cuts. So, there are just so many different examples I could think of. But fundamentally, I think a lot of people have been failed.

MARTIN: So, what I think I hear you saying, though, as the sort of the second part of this, is that, you know, representation is not enough.

ARCENEAUX: Yes.

MARTIN: You know, representation is not enough from the standpoint of, you know, a Barack Obama or maybe, you know, a Pete Buttigieg who would have been, you know, the first, you know, LGBTQ president that we know of, right. So, you’re saying that’s just not enough.

ARCENEAUX: No. And I think, frankly, the Democratic Party thinks just necessarily having representation or having someone that looks like more of the public is enough. It’s not. You need actual policies that speak to working-class people who are drowning under this, and you need to be more frank and direct about when those needs aren’t being met. A lot of people are apathetic and feel left out and are tuning out. Not everybody is wrong, and not everything can be blamed on the fault of the voter. There are so many people who don’t participate in that process because they feel like it doesn’t speak to them. At what point do you either change your tone to reach them, or do you just feel like wagging your finger is going to do something? You’re going to wag your finger under a loft. And also, in terms of representation, the Republican Party has just as many, if not more, more variety. It’s just they all stick to a very specific ideology. So, there’s representation over there too. That’s why a lot of people are finding themselves being, you know, to me, conned into right-wing ideology, but at least they directly target them online. It’s — I’m not the first to make these types of complaints, but I hope more people actually listen because we could find ourselves in a much different country in a year. But I or other people, particularly the low — the most marginalized among us should not bear greater brunt of whatever happens.

MARTIN: So, let’s — let me loop back to where we started, which is the Jordans. You finally bought some. What? Which ones? What do they look like?

ARCENEAUX: I bought the Jordan 13s. They were black and purple. Actually, as a gift to myself because I just had a birthday. I’m finally trying to buy, like, I think the Jordan 11s, the padded leather ones, the ones that I couldn’t get that I mentioned in the book.

MARTIN: Those are fly.

ARCENEAUX: Yes.

MARTIN: But I wanted to — but dig in a little bit more about why that is not just about the shoes. Could you talk a little bit about that? What does it represent to you?

ARCENEAUX: You know, I can remember being teased initially about some of the clothes that I had or wanting certain things that other people couldn’t afford and we just couldn’t have it. Don’t — I’m grateful for everything my mom and dad got me. And even then, I understood it. But, you know, when I started to dress myself and I was working, you feel a little bit more confident being able to, like, not feel priced out of things. And I think, for me, a lot of life I felt priced out of stuff, and that’s a really hard feeling. I — my mom didn’t never wanted me to be materialistic, and I understand that. But I do think just in terms of how the culture works, even how, honestly, part of my own business works, how you present really does matter. You can be priced out of a lot of things. And even if you shouldn’t necessarily internalize the shame of having money problems or debt, for some of us, it seeps in no matter what. And for me, a lot of my books are trying to remove the pressure on myself because I can be so self-critical, and that’s just not from me, it’s what’s around me. And so, I try to encourage people to essentially not be as silly as I am because, ultimately, I find a lot of these things that we find shame or guilt about to be relatively silly, even if I can understand them on an intellectual level. I just think we should all be a little bit kind to ourselves and ignore that outside noise.

MARTIN: But the other thing too that you write about is how the debt, what an anchor it can be around your neck and how you’re sort of constantly in this dialogue with yourself about what do I deserve and am I allowed to have this while I still have this debt hanging around my neck? Do you think you have finally released yourself from that, or do you think that you have?

ARCENEAUX: Maybe not finally released, but I am — I have let go of a lot of that and I am actively continuing to work to let go. I understand bills are high. Inflation is real. Things are happening. But even an instance of like, I don’t have a house yet. That’s not my fault. And sometimes I think, do I even want a house now, given if I buy in a black neighborhood, it’ll be underwritten, or depending on what city I’m in, climate change might impact it. Is that really the investment I think it is? Like, I probably will change my mind. But, you know, just the way things are set up. I try to tell my friends, however, that — not friends, but readers, friends, you know, some things in life we’re not made with designed with you in mind. So, you are pressured to feel married by a certain age, but look at the dating pool, look what’s happening, or you should have a house by a certain age. Well, interest rates. And I’m not the Fed chair. I don’t control that. I’m trying not to be priced out of L.A. like a lot of people, even if I like my apartment. So, I just think, you know, a lot of these things are harder than they should be. So, why am I holding on to this arbitrary standard where I’m not even being given the tools properly to achieve that? And I don’t necessarily — I will — I know for a fact now, there’s no such thing as good that — particularly not with student loans, because, ultimately, people are not being paid enough to keep up with the cost of living, tuition is rising, and social mobility is harder than ever. So, if you do go to school, I encourage more education, but if you do it out of disservice to yourself, we won’t even be able to enjoy the fruits of your labor ever. You got to reevaluate however that works on your terms. But I really do think letting go of these ideas, like, I should have this or that by whatever age or whatever metric, we should free ourselves more of that until everybody’s paid more.

MARTIN: Michael Arceneaux, thank you so much for talking with us.

ARCENEAUX: Thank you so much for having me. It was a pleasure.