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Next week’s news: The college edition

Next week, I’m driving my daughter up to college. Now, a lot of people are asking: In this economy, is a college education really worth it?

Well to answer that question, I’m launching a special Next Week’s News investigation:

“In This Economy, Is a College Education Really Worth It?”

Helping me out are my two educational pals from PBS, Elmo from Sesame Street and Ken Burns.

Ken Burns goes to college and studies “documentary filmmaking.” Elmo doesn’t go to college.  Elmo lives with his parents and becomes a “barista.”

After four years of college, Ken Burns discovers that documentary filmmaking is an “unmarketable skill.” After four years at Starbucks, Elmo becomes a “manager.” Ken Burns applies to Elmo for a job as a barista.  Sorry, Ken Burns, says Elmo. You’re “overqualified.”

Elmo doesn’t have to live with his parents anymore. He gets his own apartment and a “Nintendo Wii.” Ken Burns has to sleep on his parents’ couch.  He owes thousands of dollars in college loans and drinks a lot of “malt liquor.”

But it’s a happy ending for Elmo.  He gets two weeks off for summer vacation on the “Jersey Shore.”

So, when I drive my daughter to college next week, I clearly have a lot to think about. Like, How am I going to pay for it all? Well, don’t worry — I’ve already got a plan.

Alison, Jon, may I take your order?

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