Their structured lifestyle seems to work for the majority. But, for some, the lack of choices is too rigid, so they choose to leave, even though doing so can be very painful. Hasidic groups remain some of the most insular religious sects in the U.S. Sol Feuerwerker knows, he was one of them.<\/p>\n
SOL FEUERWERKER<\/strong>: I think that\u2019s what surprises most people, you know, most outsiders, is that how can something this insular be happening right here in the middle of New York City. You know, as I\u2019ve moved farther away from it, it kind of shocks me too actually.<\/p>\n CHANI GETTER<\/strong>: When I tell people that I grew up 30 miles north of New York, that I went into the city and I had never seen a movie before I was in my 20s, they think I\u2019m insane.<\/p>\n SEVERSON<\/strong>: Chani Getter grew up, married and had three children before she broke away from her Hasidic community. Those who leave Hasidism paint a picture of a very puritanical and sheltered way of life.<\/p>\n GETTER<\/strong>: When I left, I moved into my own apartment and I started driving, and as a woman who was driving, my parents disowned me. In our sect, women did not drive. And so, for eight years, they didn\u2019t talk to me.<\/p>\n SEVERSON<\/strong>: In Hebrew, the word Hasidim translates to mean the \u201cpious ones.\u201d They are defined by their devotion to a hereditary leader known as the \u201cRebbe\u201d, by their distinctive clothing and Yiddish language. Professor Samuel Heilman is a Jewish scholar at Queens College.<\/p>\n PROFESSOR SAMUEL HEILMAN<\/strong>: They have everything that makes up a culture, social norms, language, a career pattern in life. Even the ones who leave say that there are aspects of their lives that they left behind that they miss. To go to a Hasidic gathering and to sing the songs and to dance in the circle and to be enfolded into the community, and to hear your voice in a chorus of other voices. This is a tremendously exciting experience and when you leave and you\u2019re all alone, all alone in the city\u2026<\/p>\n SEVERSON<\/strong>: Professor Heilman says there are as many as 350 thousand Hasidic Orthodox in the U.S. and Canada, and an even larger population in Israel. And the numbers are increasing fast, he says, because Hasidism strongly encourages very large families.<\/p>\n PROFESSOR HEILMAN<\/strong>: They don\u2019t believe in birth control. They believe that the commandment of \u201cbe fruitful and multiply\u201d is incumbent upon all Jewish people and they practice it. Not only do they have large families but they are the poorest of all Jews because they don\u2019t go to college, so they lack often some of the skills that are necessary for high income. They are all literate in Jewish education, but their secular education is limited. That is not to say there are not some who are successful\u2026in the diamond business, electronics business, in trading on Wall Street.<\/p>\n SEVERSON<\/strong>: Relatively few leave, in professor Heilman\u2019s view, because they\u2019ve been taught to shun the secular world.<\/p>\n PROFESSOR HEILMAN<\/strong>: They\u2019ve been told that the world outside their own is demonic, corrosive, dangerous, they wouldn\u2019t want to be part of it, that they live a superior kind of life.<\/p>\n GETTER<\/strong>: One of the things that they teach you is that we get to choose what we allow our eyes to see. We get to choose what we allow our ears to hear. And so when you go into the city, you make a conscious choice not to allow your eyes to see.<\/p>\n FEUERWERKER<\/strong>: There\u2019s this whole, like belief or narrative in the community that if you, if you try to break away or change you will fail and you won\u2019t be happy and you\u2019ll just end up on drugs.<\/p>\n SEVERSON<\/strong>: Lani Santo is the Executive Director of a non-profit group called Footsteps<\/a>, founded in 2003, not to proselytize but to provide counsel and support to those who want to explore life outside the confines of the world in which they were raised. They\u2019ve assisted over 700 altogether so far, a majority are young men.<\/p>\n FOOTSTEPS GROUP DISCUSSION<\/strong>: \u201cI mean my mother still hasn\u2019t called me. My mother hasn\u2019t spoken to me this whole time.\u201d<\/p>\n LANI SANTO<\/strong>: We are seeing a lot more, just in this year alone, we\u2019ve seen a 60% increase in our membership and in new people coming to us, and that\u2019s compared to a 35% increase that we\u2019ve been on for the last few years.<\/p>\n SEVERSON<\/strong>: In the past, it was easier to shelter those in ultra religious communities from the outside world. Television, magazines, radio, even libraries were off limits. Then along came the internet.<\/p>\n PROFESSOR HEILMAN<\/strong>: The internet is a real problem for them. There has been, there have been efforts, for example there was a recent gathering at Citi Field here in New York that was against the internet. But it\u2019s a case of trying to close the barn after the horses are out.<\/p>\n SEVERSON<\/strong>: Lani Santo says those who do leave suffer serious bouts of loneliness and guilt.<\/p>\n SANTO<\/strong>: It\u2019s more about guilt in terms of impacting their families. If they have younger siblings, the fact that they\u2019re leaving is putting at risk the marriage prospects for their younger siblings and that\u2019s a real challenge.<\/p>\n PROFESSOR HEILMAN<\/strong>: Marriage is critical. And it\u2019s all by matchmaking. Finding single people in this community is rare, and if they\u2019re single then it means they\u2019re problematic\u2026and problematic can be that you have someone in the family who\u2019s not Orthodox or that there\u2019s some mental or physical ailment in the family or that there are, it can even be somebody has too many people with red hair in the family.<\/p>\n SANTO<\/strong>: Any mark of difference is a mark of shame. So whether it\u2019s a mark of having a child that\u2019s leaving the community, whether it\u2019s a mark of having a child that\u2019s sexually abused or whether there\u2019s some sort of ailment in the family, um, or someone who\u2019s committed suicide, all of that will be covered up.<\/p>\n MICHAEL JENKINS<\/strong>: The first thing that really struck me was the courage in the room.<\/p>\n SEVERSON<\/strong>: Michael Jenkins is Footsteps<\/a>\u2019 senior social worker. He says he\u2019s amazed at the risks young Hasidim are taking by even walking through the front door. He conducts group therapy and private counseling, says a number of people he meets with lead dual and deeply conflicted lives, with one foot in their Hasidic community and one foot out.<\/p>\n JENKINS<\/strong>: There\u2019s things in the community that I love, that work for me, family, friendships, relationships \u2026 this is where I\u2019ve always been and this is where I want to be, yet there are things that I disagree with\u2026and I want to be able to talk about that or express that somewhere else.<\/p>\n FOOTSTEPS GROUP DISCUSSION<\/strong>: \u201cI want to be who I want to be. And if I find God, I find God on my own, you know? I don\u2019t go any more according to what I was told as a kid.\u201d<\/p>\n SEVERSON<\/strong>: In Hasidic communities, young men study the Torah in Hebrew at least 7 hours a day and spend only one hour on secular education. So those who leave are woefully unprepared to go out on their own. Sol was 19 when he broke away.<\/p>\n (to Feuerwerker): What was your education level at that point?<\/p>\n FEUERWERKER<\/strong>: If I had to estimate it would probably be, you know 4th or 5th grade.<\/p>\n SEVERSON<\/strong>: Was that pretty standard for most of the men of your age?<\/p>\n FEUERWERKER<\/strong>: That\u2019s the norm, yeah. And in fact I believe I was actually a little bit more advanced than some of my friends at the time.<\/p>\n SEVERSON<\/strong>: Another consequence of the insularity is that if a crime is committed, it often goes unreported.<\/p>\n FEUERWERKER<\/strong>: I have many friends, men and women who have been abused, sexually, physically, emotionally\u2026<\/p>\n SEVERSON<\/strong>: Sol is now in his 4th year as a pre-med student. He says it hasn\u2019t been easy. Some old friends speak to him, some don\u2019t. He says he has a message for others who are worried about leaving the sheltered world of Hasidism.<\/p>\n FEUERWERKER<\/strong>: My point is it\u2019s challenging and it looks really, really scary at the beginning. Um, but it\u2019s, it\u2019s possible.<\/p>\n SEVERSON<\/strong>: Chani Getter says Footsteps has made leaving the Hasidic community a little less scary.<\/p>\n GETTER<\/strong>: Since Footsteps opened the thing that I saw different is that when people used to leave the community before it would be through alcohol and drugs. In order for them to leave, they had to become a total outcast.<\/p>\n SEVERSON<\/strong>: When Chani left, her parents were traumatized, and then she announced that she is gay. Now she\u2019s studying to be a rabbi.<\/p>\n GETTER<\/strong>: They\u2019re hurt by the fact that I will not live, you know, that kind of life, because my soul is in danger. And yet they don\u2019t understand why my eyes sparkle and why I\u2019m so happy.<\/p>\n SEVERSON<\/strong>: As the world continues to shrink because of access to modern technology, like the internet, it\u2019s becoming increasingly difficult for anyone or any group to shield their families from the outside world.<\/p>\n For Religion & Ethics NewsWeekly, I\u2019m Lucky Severson in New York.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" A support group called Footsteps is providing counsel to those who have chosen to leave the confines of the ultra-Orthodox world in which they were raised. More ![\"Chani](\"https:\/\/www.pbs.org\/wnet\/religionandethics\/files\/2013\/05\/post01-ultraorthodox-jews.jpg\")
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