{"id":21995,"date":"2014-02-07T15:45:00","date_gmt":"2014-02-07T20:45:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pbs.org\/wnet\/religionandethics\/?p=21995"},"modified":"2014-02-26T16:49:57","modified_gmt":"2014-02-26T21:49:57","slug":"february-7-2014-coping-with-loss-and-grief","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pbs.org\/wnet\/religionandethics\/2014\/02\/07\/february-7-2014-coping-with-loss-and-grief\/21995\/","title":{"rendered":" Coping with Loss and Grief"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;We become less human if we don&#8217;t tend to grief in an open-hearted and generous way,&#8221; says Episcopal Bishop Mariann Budde of Washington, DC. &#8220;We face into that abyss and say yet I will live, yet I will pass on life and joy. Even if I can&#8217;t know it myself, I will ensure that others will, and I will find my greater meaning in that.&#8221;<\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-21996 alignright\" alt=\"post-excerpt-bonnano-portrait\" src=\"https:\/\/www.pbs.org\/wnet\/religionandethics\/files\/2014\/02\/post-excerpt-bonnano-portrait-377x450.jpg\" width=\"240\" height=\"286\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.pbs.org\/wnet\/religionandethics\/files\/2014\/02\/post-excerpt-bonnano-portrait-377x450.jpg 377w, https:\/\/www.pbs.org\/wnet\/religionandethics\/files\/2014\/02\/post-excerpt-bonnano-portrait.jpg 438w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 240px) 100vw, 240px\" \/><\/p>\n<h2>EXCERPT: THE OTHER SIDE OF SADNESS by George A. Bonanno<\/h2>\n<p>In his famous memoir, <em>A Grief Observed<\/em>, C.S. Lewis wrote, \u201cThe mind always has some power of evasion. At worst, the unbearable thought only comes back and back.\u201d As his wife was dying of cancer, Lewis found it \u201cincredible how much happiness, even how much gaiety\u201d they \u201csometimes had together after all hope was gone.\u201d When his wife died, Lewis\u2019s grief felt relentless. Yet he reminded himself that it was not as constant, not as demanding as he imagined his wife\u2019s physical pain must have been. \u201cPhysical pain,\u201d he said, \u201ccan be absolutely continuous\u2026like the steady barrage on a trench in World War One, hours of it with no let-up for a moment,\u201d but \u201cgrief is like a bomber circling round and dropping its bombs each time the circle brings it overhead.\u201d It is that respite from the trench of sadness that makes grief bearable. It is the marvelous human capacity to squeeze in brief moments of happiness and joy that allows us to see that we may once again begin moving forward.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;We become less human if we don&#8217;t tend to grief in an open-hearted and generous way,&#8221; says Episcopal Bishop Mariann Budde of Washington, DC. &#8220;We face into that abyss and say yet I will live, yet I will pass on life and joy. Even if I can&#8217;t know it myself, I will ensure that others will, and I will find my greater meaning in that.&#8221; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.pbs.org\/wnet\/religionandethics\/2014\/02\/07\/february-7-2014-coping-with-loss-and-grief\/21995\/\" class=\"more\">More <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":72,"featured_media":22053,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6569],"tags":[9707,1348,1385,3786,10986,7935],"class_list":["post-21995","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-videocast","tag-afterlife","tag-book-excerpt","tag-death","tag-grief","tag-mariann-edgar-budde","tag-military-families","topics-faith-and-spirituality","faith-christian"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.1.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>February 7, 2014 ~ Coping with Loss and Grief | February 7, 2014 | Religion &amp; Ethics NewsWeekly | PBS<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Coping with the loss of a loved one can cause some to question their faith. 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But others say believing the deceased are in a better place brings peace.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.pbs.org\/wnet\/religionandethics\/2014\/02\/07\/february-7-2014-coping-with-loss-and-grief\/21995\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Religion &amp; Ethics NewsWeekly\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/PBS.ReligionEthics\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2014-02-07T20:45:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2014-02-26T21:49:57+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.pbs.org\/wnet\/religionandethics\/files\/2014\/02\/feat-coping-with-loss-800.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"800\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"450\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Fred Yi\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@ReligionEthics\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@ReligionEthics\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Fred Yi\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"1 minute\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pbs.org\/wnet\/religionandethics\/2014\/02\/07\/february-7-2014-coping-with-loss-and-grief\/21995\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pbs.org\/wnet\/religionandethics\/2014\/02\/07\/february-7-2014-coping-with-loss-and-grief\/21995\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Fred Yi\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pbs.org\/wnet\/religionandethics\/#\/schema\/person\/0576fe5f06986bc0418635994a2bcd47\"},\"headline\":\"Coping with Loss and Grief\",\"datePublished\":\"2014-02-07T20:45:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2014-02-26T21:49:57+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pbs.org\/wnet\/religionandethics\/2014\/02\/07\/february-7-2014-coping-with-loss-and-grief\/21995\/\"},\"wordCount\":260,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pbs.org\/wnet\/religionandethics\/2014\/02\/07\/february-7-2014-coping-with-loss-and-grief\/21995\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.pbs.org\/wnet\/religionandethics\/files\/2014\/02\/feat-coping-with-loss-800.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"afterlife\",\"book excerpt\",\"death\",\"Grief\",\"Mariann Edgar Budde\",\"military families\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Videocast\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.pbs.org\/wnet\/religionandethics\/2014\/02\/07\/february-7-2014-coping-with-loss-and-grief\/21995\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pbs.org\/wnet\/religionandethics\/2014\/02\/07\/february-7-2014-coping-with-loss-and-grief\/21995\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.pbs.org\/wnet\/religionandethics\/2014\/02\/07\/february-7-2014-coping-with-loss-and-grief\/21995\/\",\"name\":\"February 7, 2014 ~ Coping with Loss and Grief | February 7, 2014 | Religion &amp; Ethics NewsWeekly | PBS\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pbs.org\/wnet\/religionandethics\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pbs.org\/wnet\/religionandethics\/2014\/02\/07\/february-7-2014-coping-with-loss-and-grief\/21995\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pbs.org\/wnet\/religionandethics\/2014\/02\/07\/february-7-2014-coping-with-loss-and-grief\/21995\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.pbs.org\/wnet\/religionandethics\/files\/2014\/02\/feat-coping-with-loss-800.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2014-02-07T20:45:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2014-02-26T21:49:57+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pbs.org\/wnet\/religionandethics\/#\/schema\/person\/0576fe5f06986bc0418635994a2bcd47\"},\"description\":\"Coping with the loss of a loved one can cause some to question their faith. 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