{"id":5195,"date":"2009-12-10T11:50:57","date_gmt":"2009-12-10T16:50:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pbs.org\/wnet\/religionandethics\/?p=5195"},"modified":"2013-12-20T16:41:44","modified_gmt":"2013-12-20T21:41:44","slug":"december-11-2009-blue-christmas","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pbs.org\/wnet\/religionandethics\/2009\/12\/10\/december-11-2009-blue-christmas\/5195\/","title":{"rendered":" Blue Christmas"},"content":{"rendered":"

DEBORAH POTTER<\/strong>, correspondent: Everywhere you look it\u2019s \u201chappy holiday\u201d time, and despite the bad economy shoppers are still buying. After all, it\u2019s the \u201cmost wonderful time of the year,\u201d as that old Christmas song puts it, with everyone telling you \u201cbe of good cheer.\u201d But for some people, the season is not merry and bright. For Kate O\u2019Dwyer Randall, Christmas is a time for missing her brother, Jim, who died of a sudden heart attack five years ago at the age of 37.<\/p>\n

KATE O\u2019DWYER RANDALL<\/strong> (Associate University Chaplain, University of Richmond): If you\u2019re grieving, there\u2019s always the sense that there\u2019s a chair there that\u2019s empty, that the person that was here once, last year, is no longer here. It\u2019s personal, and it\u2019s private, and it\u2019s very pronounced.<\/p>\n

\n\n\n\n
\"post02\"
\nKate O’Dwyer Randall<\/strong><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<\/div>\n

POTTER<\/strong>: But Randall does not grieve alone. On this day in early December, a small group gathers for a special service at Cannon Memorial Chapel on the campus of the University of Richmond, where Randall is associate chaplain.<\/p>\n

RANDALL<\/strong> (speaking to congregation): Friends, welcome to Blue Christmas. We\u2019re so glad that you\u2019ve joined us, and we\u2019re so sorry for the reasons that you have.<\/p>\n

POTTER<\/strong>: Susie Reid came to mourn the death of her brother, Billy, just six weeks ago.<\/p>\n

SUSIE REID<\/strong>: I thought this would be a good way to kind of accept that the holidays are here and that we\u2019re going to have them, you know, without Billy this year, and just be with other people who are also, you know, that understand, you know, that sometimes the holidays are not happy.<\/p>\n

CARNISHA JONES<\/strong> (speaking to congregation): I\u2019m not really a singer, but I thought I would share what\u2019s in my heart.<\/p>\n

POTTER<\/strong>: Carnisha Jones is mourning the death of her mother.<\/p>\n

JONES<\/strong> (singing): Sometimes I feel like a motherless child, a long, long way from home.<\/p>\n

POTTER<\/strong>: Others have brought their own private pain to the service, one of hundreds being held in churches across the country this month for people facing the holidays with a heavy heart.<\/p>\n

RANDALL<\/strong>: People can be honest about that grief, so they don\u2019t have to go and sing \u201cJingle Bells.\u201d They can actually come and cry with other people who are grieving. The church is going to say we\u2019re not going to give you a platitude. We\u2019re going to say to you this is hard, and God is in the midst of this, and this is hard\u2014all at the same time.<\/p>\n

\"post03\"<\/p>\n

POTTER<\/strong>: The interfaith service is quiet and simple. There are no scripture readings, just personal stories and poems.<\/p>\n

ELIZABETH BOONE<\/strong> (speaking before the congregation): My God, you call to me in the silence: Do not be afraid. I am with you. And I answer behind tears: I\u2019m trying. Stay there.<\/p>\n

RANDALL<\/strong> (speaking to congregation): We feel, particularly in this season, that grief is permanent and hope is fleeting, but I encourage you and remind you today that it\u2019s actually the other way around.<\/p>\n

POTTER<\/strong>: Randall invites everyone to light a candle, put a name to their grief, and join in saying the names together.<\/p>\n

RANDALL<\/strong>: Stay in your seats if you\u2019d like. Think, reflect, and pray. But for those that choose to come forward, your brave statement will be met with the congregants repeating it.<\/p>\n

Congregant: I light this for my friend, Patrick.<\/em><\/p>\n

Congregation: For Patrick.<\/em><\/p>\n

Congregant: For Valerie.<\/em><\/p>\n

Congregation: For Valerie.<\/em><\/p>\n

Congregant: This is for my mom, Addie<\/em><\/p>\n

Congregation: For Addie.<\/em><\/p>\n

Congregant: I light this candle for my brother, Billy.<\/em><\/p>\n

Congregation: For Billy<\/em>.<\/p>\n

POTTER<\/strong>: For four years, Billy Reid battled cancer with his sister by his side. The loss has hit her hard.<\/p>\n

\"post01\"REID<\/strong>: I had never thought about how true it is that people\u2014I think they think that they\u2019re going to upset you if they mention, you know, the person\u2019s name that\u2019s passed away. It doesn\u2019t. I’d like to hear it. I want to talk about him like he\u2019s, you know, still around, like he\u2019s still important, you know, and not talking about him and not saying his name emphasizes his absence, and lighting a candle in a church, you know, is just very meaningful. And I know he watched me do it.<\/p>\n

Singing of \u201cSilent Night.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

RANDALL<\/strong>: Something happens in this service. I don\u2019t know if it\u2019s being with other people who are grieving, or being able to say the name out loud, but something happens in this service every year, and people are so touched and moved. I know it helps healing. I know it helps.<\/p>\n

POTTER<\/strong>: As the service ends, the candles burn on.<\/p>\n

RANDALL<\/strong>: We thank you for the lives of those that we\u2019ve named today. Let us be people of faith and hope, always and often.<\/p>\n

POTTER<\/strong>: There may not be joy this season for many here, but today there is comfort.<\/p>\n

For Religion & Ethics NewsWeekly, I\u2019m Deborah Potter in Richmond, Virginia.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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