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Tell us what you think.
Selected submissions will be posted here, so check back regularly.
6/4/03
The show was very intriguing, and refreshingly realistic. If only all people who wish to become parents, or become parents unexpectedly were under such scrutiny to determine their worth, the orphanages would be overflowing, and the traditional family unit would become a whisper from the past. I applaud these dads. Being gay is a non-issue and has no bearing on capability of parenting.
6/4/03
Mark R. Shughart
Toledo, Ohio
These families like many others, straight or gay, deal with life one day at a time. The problems facing these children fall into the normal realm of finding out who they are. Children find any difference or perceived difference and use that to differentiate themselves or make fun of others. With these children being adopted or in guardianship situations with these men who happen to be gay has already given these children a strong support to respond to and grow from the teasing. With out good parenting any child could fall victim to the teasing. The love that these parents give is just as real as the love that any straight parent would give their child. I do believe that children should be placed in families that will love and provide for them not only the possession and necessities but also the sense of family and belonging that children need. When people have to fight to have children those are the people that you want raising children because they are the parents that have really thought about the e
ffect that raising another life will have on not only them but that other life. In the world today the idea of family is changing fast, with redefinition of roles and participation. We as Americans cannot sit back and use definitions that have never worked, o judge people who are raising families. If all straight people where great parents then there would not be so many children in the foster/adoption system and homosexual people adopting those children would be a non-issue. The people that appose homosexuals adopting children support their ideas with the false statement that it is the best thing for the children. Then obviously they have not been to a foster home or a home where a child is not loved. Those situations are not the best thing for the child. All families have problems.
6/4/03
Michael Baker
Wichita, KS
Thank you KPTS for a fantasic broadcast!
I visted this web site with so much pride and hope to finally see something dealing with the gay population that shows a positive contribution to society. However, the swelling of pride in my chest was quickly deflated after I read the ignorant, selfish comments made by other viewers.
I am gay, but more importantly, I am a middle school teacher in a poor urban school. Everyday, I see kids that are hurting so much because they have no one to love them. I see kids that are so hungry they can't think. I see kids that self-destructive because no one is there to love them. I see these things, and it effects me so much, that sometimes I can't sleep at night.
And then I see this film... and I think... kids like Oscar, and Fanny- where would they be without their adoptive parents?
And... then I read these comments left by other viewers. Are these bigoted people so self-serving to their anti-gay agenda that they have completely forgotten about the fate of these children? Where would these kids be without these people (who happen to be gay) opening their homes to them? Or I wonder, are those that have this agenda so stupid to think that kids would be better off to be left in an abusive environment than be adopted by a gay couple?
I strongly encourage some to think differently. These adoptive parents are exceptional- no matter if they are gay or not. And this, this rare exceptionally, is what is important. Let's keep our eye on the ball... these kids need a home so badly, these men and women want to give them one... it sounds like a no brainer to me! -M. Baker Wichita, KS
PS- I have never given any money during KPTS pledge drives, but it looks to me like I need to start. I am so impressed by this network broadcasting this quality piece of work. I can't wait to share it with others... and I plan on making a $1000 donation to show my appreciation. Thank you so much.
6/4/03
When a child looks at a parent, they don't "see" that parent's "sex". They see the love and acceptance that is expressed by that parent. This, above all else, is what meets the emotional needs of the child. Therfore, it doesn't matter what sex or sexual orientation is expressed by the parental figure. Don't believe me? Pick up any good text on developmental psychology. It's the number of negative factors, not the kind, that have the most detrimental effects on a child.
6/4/03
Wendy
Towamencin, PA
I just finished watching your program and found myself crying by the end. I am an adoptive (heterosexual, by the way) mom of my 4-year-old son from Korea and am waiting for the paperwork to be complete to be able to bring my 2-month daughter home from Korea as well. Seeing these fathers with their children was wonderful. There are so many kids in our world who don't have any parents. I guess I don't understand why some people would choose to deprive children of a family simply because they don't approve of the parent's lifestyle. How many "ideal" families are out there anymore, and what is "ideal"? To me, an ideal family is one where a parent or parents raise their children with all the love and respect they can muster and send these children into adulthood with a firm foundation of respect for themselves and the common good of the global community. As far as adopting transracially, I do feel it's important to incorporate your child's birth culture into the family. I feel I owe it to my children to earn about their heritage, teach them what I can, and help instill a sense of pride in their birth culture. Saying "I'm not comfortable with that" would be selling my kids short.
6/4/03
Chris
Austin TX
I just want to thank PBS for showing this show. I'd like to talk from a different perspective. I am not the adult gay male nor am I the child of gay parents. I am a gay teenager trying to deal with all these mixed emotions in life, and trying to figure out a place for me in this world. I'm 16 years old, and a month before my birthday, I finally stopped lying to myself. I admitted it to myself that I was gay, and I could no longer live a lie. Sometimes it's scary to see how ignorant or how narrow-minded people can be about homosexuals, till this day, I still haven't been able to tell anyone the truth. Many people have no idea what it's like to live this life, and just fear what they don't understand. This gay parenting video has changed my outlook for the future, and I would like to thank PBS for airing it. Parenting is a difficult path to take, but I'd like to commend these gay parents for choosing a much difficult road, with the added discrimination of being gay (and for those few who adopt children of a different race). Gay parents are not the ideal means for parenting, but then again, what is normal? These kids are being loved, and that's all that matters. Some say that you are exposing children to sexuality at a young age, but really, how isn't heterosexual parents any different? Yes, homosexuals live an alternative way to life, and aren't always respected for their means of affection. But no matter what, they deserve to give love to children, and get that love back. They didn't choose this life, but at least give them the chance to make a difference in a child's life.
6/4/03
Lydia
Dear Parents,
I'm glad I watched this show. I'm a mother of three and not gay and I haven't considered myself judgmental toward the gay community.
This program has made me think about a person as just that.a person. A person's sexual choice shouldn't be a factor in whether they would make a good parent. Being a parent doesn't come with a book of instructions. It is trial and error.doing the best you can for a child that just wants to be loved. Everyone wants to be loved and accepted. Any child in life has to deal with the stuff life/people throw at them (young or old). What I saw tonight I never figured a gay couple wanted.a family (children). The couples and the single parent I applaud for their devotion and commitment to nurture these children.which is what this show showed me.a heterosexual person. My religion doesn't agree with their lifestyle but who am I to pass judgment on another person. Only GOD has that right. There are to many children out in this world that need to be hugged and told they are loved whether by a couple or single parent no matter what their parents choices are in life. These parents' have the same concerns as do all parents.holding their child, loving them and providing the best that they can whether as a single, couple or divorced couple to the child. I have 7 beautiful grandchildren.four of them are not my child's offspring. They are loved though just as if they are his. Family is what you make of it. I have several of my children's friends whom I consider as our real children. They don't get the love or praise or communication in their parents home. Some were kicked out of their parents homes for minor things.I spoke with their parents.it blew my mind how a parent can throw out a child like a piece of trash. These children are cared for and loved and not beaten or abused. They will have the same problems all children have.but with love and communication they will grow up knowing they were chosen.and.LOVED. I hope the couples in this show get to read my letter. I'll be praying for them and the children and that GOD will give them guidance in nurturing these gifts from GOD.
6/4/03
Thank you to two courageous people for such an open and frank discussion of the joys and difficulties parenting.
As a straight white adoptive parent with Hispanic kids, I appreciated the foster/ adoptive angle.I do want to point out to the dads, that you have to go through many hoops, with a thorough background check, be you gay or straight. You also have to deal with many intrusive questions too, the mildest being (gosh they must look like their dad.....well yes they probably do!)
But the abundant joys are the same. I wish them very well in their parenthood.
Again thank you for making this film
6/4/03
dionne
marrero,la
I am happy to see that children are being adopted. I don't understand how people can say it isn't right to let loving and stable gay/lesbian couples adopt. There are many straight people that should not have children and don't know when to stop. It seems the message I'm hearing from the nay sayers is let children stay in foster care until they are 18 because that's better than a home.
6/4/03
Phoenixville, PA
I am positively shocked at the negative comments on this board. I thought this program was outstanding. I couldn't wait to log on and see how the families are doing now. I have worked with children, as a teacher, for many years and I can honestly say that I have learned that all children need 1: Love, unconditional and forgiving and 2: Stability, to have something or someone to rely on. Both of these are being taken care of in the homes of loving people. The young children featured had tough beginings and with love and stability will overcome those beginings, despite the sexual orientation of the parent.
I applaud PBS for airing such a moving documantary and "good luck" to all of the families.
6/4/03
I watched this documentary and totally amazed. I am not quite sure how these documents can affect an audience; but I am quite sure at that point is USA and other countries need an organizations like PBS.
Regard being open-minded, we should know how to put up with different cultures,ethnicities, and all colors in diversity; not in the words in the action.
Have a nice week!!!
6/4/03
Roz
Wautoma, WI
Even after watching this program, I still cant believe people make comments against this. Can't they see that these people are raising children noone else wants. And by the look and sounds of it, doing a good job. There are many mom's and dad's out there that are doing a horrible job. These gay men are putting a lot of thought into this before they start. We should be thanking them and supporting them. I feel really bad for the ignorance they face. I try not to be ignorant and forgive me if I ask stupid questions at first, but I will not judge you. I have no right.
6/4/03
I am sorry that I have started a couple of times and not finished. At first I was sceptical of the backlash that might occur if a gay couple adopted a child, but there are so many children caught up in the system that if only a handful can get out knowing that someone loved them and offered them the insight for self love,it would be a better accomplishement for the human race as a whole. Neglect and abuse knows no gender or race, either on the receiving end or giving end. I have learned that our spirit is not judged by the physical but only by the way we have lived our life.
6/4/03
Brent Pace
Salt Lake City, Utah
Thank you for your work--and hats off to PBS for airing such superb work. There are few issues more provocative than gay adoption. I live in a state that has recently "outlawed" gay adoptions by law. I work as a social worker evaluating adolescent boys who have been referred to our program by the the Juvenile Court. Sadly, the majority of these boys often have terribly inadequate parents with a variety of issues including physical and sexual abuse, chemical dependency and most of all, and often the most tragic reality: neglect. Your documentary reminds me that good parenting is not at all about sexual orientation--it's about love, commitment and, most of all, hard work. Thank-you for excellent programming.
6/4/03
Hajaah
Cincinnati, Ohio
Well,I just watched the program and all I can say is Bravo" My heart goes out to all of the parents. I won't use the word Gay because that is a man made word to me. My 2 daughters father passed away and I'd give anything if he could have been just a lot like all of the fathers. We have to understand in this world that some of us will always disagree with being what you are and that's human. Two male parents that just wanted to have a beautiful family to raise and to share your love with.
God Bless You All
6/4/03
I'm only seventeen years old and I already feel very strongly about this subject. Seeing "Daddy and Papa" has only served to strenghthen these feelings. There are many gay people who would be wonderful parents but are being denied the chance because of the narrowmindedness that's so common in our culture. It's a tragedy that so many people are afraid of what they don't understand. I've gained much respect for PBS for airing such a controversial but important and heartwarming program.
6/4/03
Jeanne Dally-Steele
Madison, wi
What a wonderful piece you did about gay parenting. If every child could have such thoughtful, comitted parents, how many of the world's problems would be solved. I'm heartened to see these fantastic Dads raising these fortunate children. I simply don't understand why anyone would ever want to prevent such families. This program touches a common chord with all families.
6/4/03
As a (heterosexual, adoptive) parent, I thought the film was beautifully done. Every child deserves a loving home. Thank you.
6/4/03
I found the love shown to the children by the people in this film to be inspiring. And it is wonderful that these children are not being shuttled from foster care to foster care and that they have love and stability with these couples. Loving people are loving people, whether they are gay or straight or male or female. A previous writer stated that the kids need 2 parents - but many of them in the film did have 2 parents, and many kids in the USA do not have 2 parents. Another previous writer lamented that "adult sexual behavior" was part of kids education - I did not see anything in the film related to adult sexual behavior. The adults were no more sexual than my mom & dad in the 1950's in Iowa, so whoever wrote that must have a great imagination! The documentary was truly fantastic!
6/3/03
Why are children subjected to the terms of thier parents or adoptive parents sexuality??? When I was a child I never even knew what sex actually was straight or gay until I was about 12 or 13 years old.Why cant we allow children to be kept children and innocent until they are older. I feel sorry for this generation of children who are constantly exposed to adult sexual behavior from an early age. If I have to throw away my TV I will do it!!! THIS IS RIDICULOUS!!! I will throw out my internet access too. Please keep your adult sexual behavior out of my child's education.
6/3/03
Tim
What about the child of a gay couple? Kids need a mother and a father to recieve the kinds of care and love they need to become an upright human being. Two fathers or two mothers simply cannot work. What will the child grow up thinking? That he must be gay also? What about the humiliation a kid will feel when other children see that he has gay parents? How come adults must always look to themselves and seek after personal pleasure instead of thinking of others first? No, this is not a wonderful idea for a special. It is wrong, and just gives those who are gay another reason to deny the fact that what they are doing is wrong. I am ashamed that I watch PBS. I used to believe that the station strived for some measure of excellence in their programming. I see now that I was mistaken.
6/3/03
Melanie
I am writing on the other side of this issue, as the parent of a child who is giving her daughter up for adoption to a gay couple. My daughter is 17 and she has decided to give her child up for an open adoption, the parents she has chosen are a wonderful couple and they are gay. I never wanted my daughter to get pregnant but since she has i can imagine no better outcome than the one we have had. The adoptive couple are wonderful people who we think are the best possible people to raise the baby
who is due any day now! It was really a very easy disicion to make for all of us they are a part of the family and there parents have welcomed my daughter and her baby into there hearts and families its awe inspiring
and i am a very greatfull grandmother!
6/3/03
The whole idea of "gay parenting" flies in the face of all logic. Gay sex cannot produce children. The lifestyle a gay person lives and advocates, if practiced universally, would ELIMINATE CHILDREN, resulting in the death of our species.
I am appalled by PBS' consistently "pro-gay" programming. I used to think I could allow my older children ( teenage) to watch almost anything on PBS. However, this pro-gay stance offends me terribly. Homosexuality is against my values. "Gay bashings" are a national tragedy; as a Catholic, I, like our Pope and bishops, oppose all forms of hatred and violence toward those who are gay. However, this does not mean I have to endorse their immoral behavior *and* have my children constantly exposed to the view that it is the moral equivalent of marriage.
Most of the programming on PBS is exceptional. But airing a program like this, which goes against the values of the majority of people in this country, offends me. I have not given a penny to my loca
l station ever since the day I woke up in the hospital, after the birth of one of our children, and turned on the television, only to find a PBS broadcast of two gay men kissing.
I urge you at PBS to stop cowering and caving in to the Gay Rights lobby. Gay people are first and foremost *people* and need to be respected as much as anyone else. I wish they would stop identifying themselves so much with their sexuality and start thinking of *themselves* first as people, and I wish PBS would refuse to continue this nonsense of putting the gay population on a pedestal.
Sincerely,
Mrs. A. Smith
Harrisburg, PA
6/2/03
Looks like a great show... It's about time this subject was brought up and discussed in an intelligent manner. Go PBS!!!
6/2/03
I haven't watched your program, yet. I wanted to tell you that I coordinate parenting mutual self help groups and we have a group for GLBTQ parents in the Rockford area. I hope your program helps more people access the group, gay do parent!!! Your program will give the parent leader, facilitator, and children's group leader faith to hang in there, someday they will get parents to attend the group, and work on any parenting issues they may have.
I am also very proud to say my agency facilitates adoptions and a parent's sexual orientation is not part of the process.
I think this program will do a great deal to let everyone know that parents are parents, who you are attracted to makes no difference in the end. We all want to raise healthy, happy, successful children.
Best of luck!!
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