- Call spreadsheet
manufacturer technical support and let hold music lull you to sleep.
- Reserve conference
room for mandatory meeting concerning precise technical regulations of a nap. Re-engineer
- Pipe ocean sounds
over PA system.
- Pretend you're
on a crippled spaceship and co-workers are possessed by aliens. Any contact with
them is fatal. Avoid them by all means necessary.
- Find rest rooms
where pagers and cellular phones lose signal.
- Outfit your
desk with pillows disguised as heavy reference books.
- Sheep wallpaper.
- Plot shortcuts
to coffee station.
- Neil Young's
Greatest Hits. The liner notes should suffice.
- Sheepdogs, coaxial
cable, and skateboards. You figure it out.
- Loop video of
CFO speech to stockholders on overhead TV.
- Log-on to gotobeddammit.com.
- Pace yourself
until it takes an hour to circle your cubicle.
- Re-enact traffic
jams you missed.
- Develop a computer
virus that will suck all the e's out of your text.
- Post-It Notes
with famous Al Gore aphorisms.
- Hot milk enemas.