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Related:

Dom & Tina - Dom's View

Deaf and Hearing

"Tabu"

Rick and Lisa

No Boundaries




Mouse and Me

My spouse and I first met while I was a junior in high school. In our conservative, semi-rural area of upstate New York there weren't many like him; long-haired, dark-eyed and bearded, he looked like a tiny statue of Jesus. I was twice his size and the product of an extremely sheltered upbringing; any one who looked like him was automatically a 'hippie freak.'

There didn't seem to be any common interests between us, yet we became friends. As time went on and I grew more aware and sophisticated about the world and myself, I came to the realization that I was a lesbian. When I told him (in a phone conversation), all he kept saying was "No, no, no." Then he asked to see me in person. I thought I had lost a good friend.

When we met later that day, he came out to ME! It turned out that he was gay too, and had been struggling with it as well. We laughed really hard when we finally realized why all of our dates had never gone any farther than a good night smooch (From twenty years away, it seems amazing that we could be so naive, but we were!).

We stayed friends and tried to go on with our lives, combining our duties to family with our jobs and attempts to have a personal life. We spoke almost every day, ran in and out of each other's homes, and dealt with the jealousies of our romantic partners about our relationship with each other.

When disaster struck, we were always there for one another. When we came out to some members of our families, we consoled each other and stood the heat. Through disease, accidents, death and sorrow, it was always us together facing the world. Slowly, we realized that the place we felt best, the place we were the most whole, was by each other's side. So we decided to live together.

It turned out to be very hard work. Our family who knew about our sexual preferences were very confused. "Does this mean you're not queer anymore?" Our friends' reactions varied from confusion to outright hostility. I was accused of being a liar and a traitor to lesbian women by one acquaintance, and we found out that gay and lesbian people can be just as prejudiced and cruel as any other group.

We have just celebrated out twenty-first anniversary of our meeting and will soon celebrate our first anniversary of our marriage. What goes on in the bedroom is our business, but what we have is a relationship of trust, love, and mutual support that makes many of the people around us envious. We remain politically and socially active and are the first to tell everyone: you can't label or classify human beings or human love.





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