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Nothing is Just Black or White

I grew up in a small (very white) town in Vermont. My husband who is African-American grew up in the inner city of Milwaukee, Wisconsin. We met at my part time job in a video store. I thought he was extremely handsome and never thought he would ask me out, but he did. We dated, lived together, and fought together for three years before we were married.

For me it was love at first sight.

We have many differences. He is black and I am white. He was brought up in the inner city, I grew up in the country-very sheltered. I have a college degree and he is a professional stylist. He was not given the oportunity to go to college full-time due to many reasons one of which is the institutional racism of Milwaukee. I grew up in the Catholic Church and he had no true religion.

There were many times when our differences caused problems, miscommunications mainly. We have worked them out over the years by keeping our focus on our love. We both love each other very much and believe that marriage is forever. We compromise when we have to. We work things out by talking. I have also gotten advice from other interracial couples, from his family and from articles in magazines.

We live in Boston and have had lots of problems finding housing. We fill out the paperwork, everything is all set, and suddenly the apartment is no longer available. Now I go alone to look for apartments. We are currently looking for a more tolerant city to live in.

I was standing in line at the supermarket waiting for my husband to get in line with that last minute item. When he came to get in line with me the other ladies assumed he wasn't with me and complained he was jumping the line.

On public transportation I get lots of evil looks from black women, as if I stole their man from them!

Some of the things I am still trying to find out about our relationship are: Will my husband ever be able to be happy as an average black man in America? Will society ever accept us for what we are-a couple- not a freak show?

Our relationship could be perfect if not for America's racism.

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