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The Language of Our Hearts

Felix and I met in April 1999. I was separated from my husband and he had been divorced many years. We are in our mid-forties. I am a blue-eyed redheaded American woman and he is a Mexican working in the US. Felix speaks little English. I flunked college Spanish.

We were introduced by my 14-year-daughter's friend, also a young Mexican. They work at a Mexican restaurant and live in the same house with five other Mexican men. Felix is a dishwasher. I had just completed my B.S. in Human Services, having struggled to obtain my degree against insurmountable odds. We shared a common marital background; both of us had spouses who had walked out on us.

I had been separated 15 months when I met Felix. I had not yet gotten a divorce because I didn't know exactly where my ex was and had no money to pay for it. A month after I met Felix I lost my job as a dental receptionist. Felix was very understanding about my situation. He was the only person to attend my college graduation (neither of my kids nor my family came) He sat through the entire three hours not understanding a single word, but he was there for me.

Felix supports his elderly father and stepmother in Mexico and sends money weekly to them. He lives very frugally. Before I lost my job I bought him some bedroom furniture. Up until then he had been sleeping on a cot.

I have been studying Spanish, and now we communicate quite well with our own "spanglish", and sign language -- we even draw pictures! Somehow we knew what the other needs to say.

Felix is the most gentle, kind, generous man I have ever met. He is intelligent and very modest about his skills and talents. Some ways into our relationship, he revealed to me he had been a policeman in Mexico and had been injured in the line of duty--nearly killed by a shotgun blast. He had studied at university and had skills in electrical work and carpentry. He works 10-14 hours a day six days a week. He rarely every takes a vacation.

The reason I love Felix is because, unlike most American men I have known, he loves from the heart. He is not ashamed to admit his feelings. He never criticizes me or treats me unkindly. He asks only that I respect his need to sleep and his belief that a woman should not argue with the man she loves in a vulgar, loud way. He is a traditionalist and loves his grown children and grandchildren dearly.

I have come to love the Mexican ways of devotion to family. I am sad to say I have not known many American men with the capacity to love their children and parents like this. Felix raised his children nearly single-handedly and still gives them as much support as he can. He now considers me and my daughters his American family.

My parents and sisters have met Felix and are happy for me that I have met a nice man who is so good to me. I have been treated very badly in the past by men to the point of a nervous breakdown a few years ago. Though I still suffer from depression as well as diabetes, hypertension. fibromyaglia and obesity--Felix tells me in his best English "I love tu por tu."

Felix, I would not care if you were green and purple and from Mars-- you are Mi Corazon and the language of our hearts is love.

Felix asked me to marry him two days ago and return to Mexico with him someday. I said yes.

This story contributed
via women.com





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