Interview with Colleen Parro
U.S. Citizen
Q: What is your background?
Parro: I was born in 1940, brought up on the south side of Chicago. I was raised a Roman Catholic and went to Catholic school. At that time we lived in an apartment building and it was kind of... I guess you could call it an Irish ghetto. Most of the people in the neighborhood were Irish... and Catholic and working class. We didn't own a car until I was 16. I rode public transportation. I have a one sister and we were brought up to be very traditional-thinking, nice girls. My mother was my idol.
Q: Did you see differences between boys and girls and how they were expected to behave?
Parro: Well, of course. Usually boys were more rambunctious than the girls were. But we usually won the spelling bees.
Q: What did you hope to do when you were grown?
Parro: Oh, I wanted to be Miss America. I remember when we got a television. I was 13 years old and that first Miss America Pageant just blew me away. I suppose every other little girl in America was pretending that she was Miss America too. For the most part she was a beautiful, physical example of an American girl. There really wasn't anything wrong with that... it was fun. Later, I thought the feminists who protested over beauty pageants were really just... well, I guess most of them couldn't have been in a Miss America pageant.
I also wanted to be an actress, or a singer. Movies were very important in our lives because then it was really our only form of entertainment. Until we got a TV.
My mother took us to see all the musicals... the wonderful things that came out in the '40s and the '50s were entertaining and fun and uplifting. You came out of the theater feeling better, unlike today.
Q: When did you start dating?
Parro: Well, my relationship with boys growing up was fairly limited in elementary school of course. It was a co-ed, but there was no dating. In those days, in the 6th or 7th or 8th grade, it was simply unheard of for little boys and little girls to be dating each other.
I attended an all-girls high school as most girls did in the Catholic community in Chicago. And the boys went to boy's schools. We would have mixers, and it was all very formal and arranged. People started dating about age 16 back then.
Q: What was life like for you, growing up in the '50s?
Parro: We were raised with rules that were based on religious faith. It didn't matter what religion you were, but everybody believed that there was a right way and a wrong way to behave. Whatever was out there was judged in terms of its sinfulness or lack thereof. We had very clear rules about what was right and what was wrong, and how girls were to behave in order to be respected by boys. And boys were raised to respect girls, even if girls acted dumb sometimes. Of course, it didn't always work. We've always had these age-old problems. But most of us avoided the kinds of serious problems that exist in many children's lives today because of those clear rules of behavior.
When I was a senior in college there were about 380 girls in my class and I would bet my life on the fact that there was only one who had ever been to bed with a boy. Only one. The rest of us were brought up to believe that you didn't do that, it was wrong. If you did, you could have a baby and you could bring shame and humiliation on yourself and your family. You were brought up to believe that if you were a nice girl, you behaved like a nice girl -- you looked for a nice guy, you married him, and then you had children and it was all very orderly. That was how we lived. And you know, the last I heard, the divorce rate in that graduating class is extremely low. I think there have been probably no more than 20 or 25 divorces in that generation of graduates.
Q: Did you have an expectation that Prince Charming would ride into your life?
Parro: Oh sure. As I was growing up I dreamed about Prince Charming... and I did meet him. And I wanted to have a home and a family and a normal, average, ordinary life with children and... I really didn't have tremendous expectations.... To me success was having a good husband and a good family and a happy life.
Q: What was your reaction to Betty Friedan?
Parro: When Betty Friedan and the feminists began their activities, and the feminist movement began to rear its head in our society, I was a young mother raising two children. I guess that was in the early '60s. I thought, "How strange! What is wrong with this woman? What are these people so angry about?" I didn't know any feminists. Everybody I knew was not oppressed and was very happy and was not miserable, and we were all enjoying raising our families.
Life isn't fair -- we'd always been brought up to know that and understand that. But I think most of us, because we had a fundamental belief system -- a faith in God -- understood that there's a reason for adversity. One simply has to muddle through with the help of God. These women were out there screaming and ranting and raving -- so angry and bitter about whatever it was -- I simply thought it was an aberration. It just couldn't last. I was very busy with my family and their needs. I really didn't pay a lot of attention except to be appalled when I saw them on television.
Q: What was motherhood like back then?
Parro: Motherhood was a very good time in the '60s. They were wonderful years for me, personally. I did everything -- I was the Brownie leader, and the Girl Scout leader, and the room mother... I took care of my children totally.
The first time I left my youngest daughter, who is now 27, with a caretaker I went to a meeting at the church regarding the liberalization of abortion laws in the State of Texas. I felt that I had to go to that meeting... somehow I felt that it was extremely important to be there. And so I did leave her for about an hour and a half. I was so glad to see her when I got home. I always did everything with my children and they did everything with me. It was a wonderful time.
Q: There was a huge march along 5th Avenue in 1970 to commemorate the anniversary of women's suffrage. What were your thoughts about that?
Parro: I know that it did register. It seemed as though the movement was bigger than I expected but still it was kind of out of my reality. It wasn't something that I related to.
I didn't know anybody who was there. I didn't know anybody who felt that way. It was almost like a freak show so it didn't have any impact on me or my life. It was... them. They were doing that. Little did I know that what they were doing would change my life.
Betty Friedan and the feminist movement advocated, probably as their principle objective, lifting this terrible burden of motherhood off of the backs of women who were oppressed and miserable. We were supposed to do anything to get rid of our children. Of course the primary thing is to kill them through abortion. And if you don't manage to do that, then you give them up to some kind of government-run daycare center, so you can go out and do your thing and be fulfilled. I always felt that was peculiar... motherhood was an extremely fulfilling role for the women that I knew. Of course, we all knew that that wasn't all to life. Motherhood is an early retirement position. Your children do grow up. I was married when I was 20 years old so, by the time I was 40 years old, my children were grown, and I had a whole new life. Betty Friedan and Gloria Steinem and the rest -- they wanted to have it all and have it all now -- and they wanted to exclude this burden of bearing and caring for children.
Q: What effect did the introduction of the birth control pill have on your life?
Parro: The contraceptive mentality brought about the kinds of cultural changes that posed a tremendous threat to me and my family. I always think of the old television commercial for margarine where a lady in the forest would say, "It's not nice to fool Mother Nature..." Well, the contraceptive mentality fools Mother Nature. And as a result it has brought about tremendous social and cultural problems which affect families, most particularly children. Sex education programs were introduced into the schools and all of a sudden children were losing their innocence by virtue of what they were being taught. Something had to be done. That's been part of my life ever since.
Q: How did you first get involved in pro-life issues?
Parro: I remember picking up the Dallas Morning News on January 22,1973, and reading that the Supreme Court had ruled in the case of Roe v. Wade, legalizing abortion on demand, no exceptions, throughout America. I was just incredulous. I was shocked. I sat down and cried. I couldn't believe they had actually done it. I had so much faith in the American way of life, the American sense of justice, and what was right as compared to what was wrong. I had been raised on the documents of the founders -- the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution. I guess I felt responsible too for what had happened, because I hadn't really taken the feminists as seriously as I should have.
I was too busy doing what I was supposed to be doing -- taking care of my family, doing the things I was supposed to do for them. When I read about the Supreme Court decision in Roe v. Wade I said, "I did this, it's my fault because I didn't fight them." I didn't write letters to the editor or do whatever it was I was supposed to do...but I decided that I was going to do something. Reading about that decision propelled me out of the kitchen and into a public life that has become a lifetime commitment.
I knew one thing and that is that an unborn baby is a human being, and that baby deserves legal protection. If the court was going to deny that protection, then I had to do something to restore it. Fortunately, lots of other people were upset about that decision. As it happened there was a doctor -- Frank Maroney, an obstetrician who went to the same church as I did - who was already attuned to what was going on. He gave slide presentations to educate people about the reality of abortion. I got up to speed on the subject and then we sat down and talked. I said, "Frank, we've got to organize. Because this thing is not going to go away anytime soon, we've got to organize and try to make a difference." And we did, we got about 6 or 8 couples together and ultimately formed the Dallas Right to Life Committee. That was the beginning of my involvement, my so far 20-year involvement in trying to reestablish the right to life in this country.
Q: Tell me about the Equal Rights Amendment...
Parro: The Equal Rights Amendment was the major effort of the feminists to accomplish three things: One, to insure that there would never be a restoration of the right to life to unborn babies. If the Equal Rights Amendment had passed, it would have become impossible to deny an abortion to a woman.
Two, to insure that women would be registered for the draft and engaged in military combat. I was raising my children to be traditional, God-fearing, flag-waving Americans. I didn't want my daughters drafted. I mean forget it. Men are supposed to fight wars. Most of the armies that have tried to employ women haven't done too well... historically, it's been a disaster.
Three, to recognize homosexuality as an acceptable alternative lifestyle. Those were the three fundamental issues that the feminists worked for. They tried to cover that with a lot of rhetoric about rights, and so forth.
I had received a flyer in the mail. It was a pink sheet of paper, and it had a drawing of a woman on one corner and another woman on the other, and they were both talking on the telephone and the telephone cord went all the way around. At the top it said, "Ladies, have you heard?" And the body of the paper talked about the Equal Rights Amendment and what it's intentions were. It would have essentially undermined the family codes of every state in the union.
It felt like an enormous threat. If the Equal Rights Amendment were ratified, then life as we knew it would be radically changed. That wasn't what I wanted for my family, for my children. I believe that there should be an order to life... I think people are happier if they live in an orderly society. And many of the things advocated by the feminist movement would bring about tremendous disorder. It was absolutely essential that I do everything I could to defeat the Equal Rights Amendment.
So I went to Austin in an attempt to rescind Texas ratification of the Equal Rights Amendment. We joined forces in the largest rally ever held in the State of Texas. It was then that I first met Phyllis Schlafly, the leader of the pro-family movement, the national leader of the STOP ERA movement and the president of Eagle Forum. Phyllis Schlafly led the fight against the ERA for ten years and she won.
You know, the Equal Rights Amendment was passed through the Congress with a seven-year time limit. And after seven years the feminists went to the Congress and said, well, seven years just wasn't long enough, we want an extension. This had never been done before. I mean, every other Constitutional Amendment had either passed or failed during the time limit and that was it. But the Congress granted them another three years and it ended up being a ten-year battle. And we still won.
Phyllis Schlafly organized a huge party in Washington in June of 1982. We called it the Rainbow Dinner and it was an absolutely huge gathering of Senators and Congressmen, and grassroots people who had supported us. Remember, when Phyllis started fighting the Equal Rights Amendment she was up against the entire national media, every governor of every state, four presidents and their wives... everybody was against her. And so we did, we celebrated. And it was lots of fun.
Q: What sort of impact did Phyllis Schlafly have on your life?
Parro: There are three people who have had a great impact on my life: my mother, my husband, and Phyllis Schlafly. Phyllis Schlafly has been my role model, my mentor, my friend. She is a unique, great woman. And she's brilliant... a great political strategist. And a super lady. I feel very privileged to have worked with her and to have known her.
Q: Your children grew up in a period of great moral upheaval in the United States...
Parro: Yes. Well, of course the contraceptive mentality was really rolling while my children were growing up. But I think we were blessed in that we raised them in a strongly Catholic household, where sexual morality is extremely important. And that was reinforced by the schools they attended. While there were many problems, because of the way they were raised and their religious faith, our children were fortunately spared many of the problems associated with the sexual revolution. They knew the difference between right and wrong. And they knew that there were consequences that would have to be paid as a result of that type of behavior. It was simply unacceptable in our home.
Q: How did this period of time affect the role of a parent?
Parro: People became desensitized. They began to lose sight of their own upbringing and they bought into some of that philosophy they saw on the tube every night. All of a sudden there were children roaming the streets after school with no adult supervision, because Mom wasn't there. People were allowing their children to have parties without their supervision. People were allowing their young teenage children to drink alcohol. People were encouraging early dating. We began to see 7th- and 8th-graders thrown together in dating situations. That wasn't what we wanted for our children because we knew that held inherent dangers that could ultimately damage them for life. Once you step over that line, there's no going back. You have to live with it forever, whether it's taking drugs or getting drunk or having sex... whatever it is, you've crossed the line. We raised our children along very strict, conservative, traditional guidelines and that did cause a little upheaval from time to time. But we're very glad we did. We have three wonderful kids who grew up right.
I was brought up to believe that we are here to know love and serve God so that we can live with him in the next life. That's our reason for existence. Mothers had a role and fathers had a role and together they worked to raise the children, each of whom had a role. There was discipline and there were rules and there were moral absolutes. There were things you simply did not do - because they were wrong. There was a tremendous clear sense of right and wrong. When you look back to the '40s and '50s and you compare that era to the '60s and '70s and the turmoil and the cultural and moral decay that began to take place, you see the results of an abandonment of order. We have essentially spun into cultural chaos in America. And that's a terrible shame.
Q: What came next for you, after the ERA?
Parro: We realized that we had only just begun. The forces at play during the ERA battle had begun to become entrenched in the government, in the workings of how we run this country. On the positive side, Phyllis Schlafly had organized what became an army of people like me... people who didn't just go back into the kitchen, people who said, "My goodness, I have learned so much through this experience, and now I'm aware that my government is me. If I don't become active and stay active, and if I don't get involved at the precinct level, and if I don't go down to Austin or up to Washington and talk to my Congressman about the things that I care about, I'm not doing my job as an American." This tremendous grassroots movement developed during the '70s and into 1982. That group was largely responsible for electing Ronald Reagan president.
Q: As a woman, you can do things today that you couldn't do before...
Parro: I think women have always been able to do whatever they've wanted to do. Many women didn't think of doing so many different things, in the '50s perhaps, but there have always been successful women. There have always been women who are teachers and lawyers and doctors and mothers and librarians and -- whatever, you name it. I do think that some women have bought into the idea that they are better off if they fulfill a role that is perhaps better filled by a man. It's kind of a thing with them, you know - "I must go out and dig ditches in the mud because they tell me that if I don't, I'm not really liberated." That's ridiculous. I think women have always been able to do whatever they want to do.
Q: Do you have any sympathy at all with the idea that a woman, or a man for that matter, should have the individual right to choose what they do with their life?
Parro: Well, I don't know that anybody doesn't have that. I don't think the feminist movement has made any difference there.
Q: Some people have said the birth control pill created a positive change for women, because it meant they could control their lives in a way that had never been possible. What's your sort of feeling about that?
Parro: I think that women have always had control over the process of reproduction - by simply saying no. And I don't think that the pill has been a boon to women. As a matter of fact, I think the pill has been destructive because it takes away from the intimacy and the commitment that is there when a woman is more than just an object of sexual pleasure... which is what she becomes in a contraceptive situation. She's an object.
There is a mutual respect between men and women who come to marriage committed to bringing forth children in a way that is rational and reasonable, perhaps through natural family planning (which is being used in third world countries very effectively, I might add). I believe very firmly that many marriages have failed because of the contraceptive mentality.
I also believe that the promotion of contraceptives, by organizations such as Planned Parenthood, has been the most destructive thing to our society. Instead of reducing illegitimate pregnancies, they have increased. Instead of reducing sexually transmitted diseases, they have flourished. We now have 50 sexually transmitted diseases that were never heard of back in the '50s. Contraceptives don't protect people from AIDS or STDs. It's a lie. I think that that is the legacy of the feminist movement. It is a very sad legacy.
Q: Where do you see your movement headed today?
Parro: Despite press to the contrary, we are seeing a tremendous resurgence -- within America and, indeed, I think all over the world -- toward basic values. That's what this is all about. This chaotic state that we've been living in since the '60s is not productive. It doesn't solve problems. It creates problems. While this is certainly never going to be a perfect world, I think that we're seeing some successes, and I think we're going to see some tremendous changes in the next four or five years, especially in American politics. I think there's a realignment going on that is very significant.
Q: How has your involvement affected you personally?
Parro: My association with Phyllis Schlafly has been a tremendous blessing in my life; she has taught me many things and has given me the training that is so necessary to fight these battles. I don't ever see myself retiring from the fray because we're always going to be confronted with attempts to impose ideas upon us that we don't agree with. I think the movement -- the grassroots, conservative, pro-family movement -- is going to continue to grow in this country. I think it's going to spread to other countries. Some of these countries are experiencing the problems today that we experienced ten or fifteen years ago. They need our help.
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