Diagnose yourself using the key below.

1. I'm willing to pay more for a t-shirt if it has a cool corporate logo on it.

2. I believe that if I buy the cocktail dress, the cocktail party will come.

3. I have a shoe collection Imelda Marcos would envy.

4. When I'm cold, I take my clothes off and turn up the heat.

5. I'm willing to work 40 years at a job I hate so I can buy lots of stuff.

6. When I'm feeling blue, I like to go shopping and treat myself.

7. I want a sports utility vehicle, although I rarely drive in conditions that warrant one.

8. I usually make just the minimum payment on my credit cards.

9. I believe that whoever dies with the most toys wins.

10. Most of the things my friends/family and I enjoy doing together are free.

11. I don't measure my self-worth (or that of others) by what I own.

12. I know how to pinch a dollar until it screams.

13. I worry about the effects of advertising on children.

14. To get to work, I carpool, ride my bike or use public transportation.

15. I'd rather be shopping right now.

For questions 1-9 and 15, give yourself 2 points for true and 1 point for false.
For questions 10-14, give yourself 0 points for true and 2 points for false.

If you scored:

10-15 No dangerous signs of Affluenza at this time. Watch Affluenza to help build immunity.

16-22 Warning: You have mild Affluenza. Watch Affluenza to help prevent a full-blown case, and see our handy tips for squishing the Affluenza bug.

23-30 Cut up your credit cards and call a doctor! Memorize our list of bug-beating tips. Watch Affluenza, and then watch it again.

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