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The Merry Wives’ Revenge on Falstaff

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Madame Ford (Susan Kelechi Watson) and Madam Page (Pascale Armand) trick Falstaff (Jacob Ming-Trent) into thinking that he is about to be discovered by Mr. Ford. Meanwhile, Mr. Ford, thinking his wife has been unfaithful, arrives with his friends to try and catch her in the act.

TRANSCRIPT

[knock at the door] There's Madam Page at the door.

She shall not see me. I will hide myself.

Pray you, do so. She's a very tattling woman.

[door rings] What's the matter? How now?

O Sista Ford, what have you done? You're shamed, you're overthrown, you're undone forever!

What's the matter, Ekua?

O well-a-day, Nkechi, having an honest man to your husband, to give him such cause of suspicion!

What cause of suspicion?

You say what?

How am I mistook in you!

Why, alas, what's the matter?

Your husband's coming here, woman, to search for a gentleman that he says is here now, by your consent, to take an ill advantage of his absence. You are undone.

'Tis not so, I hope.

Pray heaven it be not so, that you have such a man here!

But 'tis most certain your husband's coming to search for such a one.

I come before to tell you. If you know yourself clear, why, I am glad of it; but if you have a friend here, convey!

Convey him out!

Be not amazed!

[gasps] Call all your senses to you, defend your reputation, or bid farewell to your good life forever.

What shall I do? There is a gentleman.

[gasps] My dear friend; and I fear not mine own shame so much as his peril.

Shame on you, o---! Shame on me, o---! Your husband's here at hand: O, how have you deceived me!

My friend, adultress, why o-- Look, here is a basket: if he is of any reasonable stature, he may creep in here, and throw foul linen upon him, as if it were going to washing. It'''s bleaching time!

He's too big to go in there. What shall I do?

Let me see it! Let me see it! Let. Me. See. It!

What, Falstaff?! [they all gasp] Let me in, Let me in. Follow your friend's counsel. Let me in.

Are these your letters?

Hello, is it me you'''re looking for?

Call Chiagozie, Sista Ford. You dissembling foolish man!

Chiagozie! Chiagozie!

Here, go, take the basket quickly. Come, come!

[door bell rings] Pray you, come near. If I suspect without cause, why then make sport at me, then let me be your jest, I deserve it.

How now? Whither bear you this?

Why, what have you to do whither she bear it? You were best meddle with laundry washing!

Oh, yeah. Anyway, gentlemen, I have dreamed tonight; I'll tell you my dream.

Here, here, here be my keys. Ascend my chambers.

Search, seek, find out. I'll warrant we'll unkennel the fox. Let me stop this way first.

So now, escape, you adulterer!

Good Mr Ford, be contented; you wrong yourself too much.

True, Mr Page. Up, gentlemen. You shall see sport nownow. Follow me, gentlemen.

This is very fantastical humor and jealousy.

Let'''s follow him, gentlemen; see the issue of his search.

[laughs]

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