The nurse was not supposed to let me into the nursery, but it was late one night. All the visitors, except your grandfather and me, had gone home. Your grandfather was with your mother trying to understand why she was giving you up.

The nurse had seen me, night after night, visiting your mother. She knew who I was. She had silently watched as I stood by the nursery window each night before I left with tears running down my face. She opened the door to the nursery and asked me if I wanted to hold you.

I nodded yes and slipped inside. She carried you into a little room off the nursery, handed you to me then left, closing and locking the door behind her.

I held you, rocked you, and sang all the songs I could think of. I told you how much I love you. I measured your tiny hands against my fingers so I could always remember something about you. I stroked your hair, and you nestled against me. I tried to cram a lifetime into a few precious moments.

So many unanswered questions. Why was your mother giving you up? Why couldn't your grandfather and I raise you? Would I ever see you again? Would you hate me because I did not fight harder to get custody of you? Who would tell you who you are and why you do the things you do?

Only one thing that I do know - I love you.

Love always,
Grandmother

This letter was sent to adoption:a gatheringanonymously.