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Too Unique

My husband Bob and I met through a mutual friend. It was a blind date and we fell in love at the first sight. We got married five weeks later. We've been married little bit over a year.

I came from Korea about six years ago, and he came from New York. He never dated any Asian girls before me and knows nothing about Korea at all. We, actually I, almost broke up the marriage about six months ago.

Bob went to Las Vegas with his friend to see my father-in-law. I was supposed to go with him, but I had to go to work. As soon as he arrived in Las Vegas, they went to nude bar and went back the next night too. Going to a nude bar was OK. with me, and Bob knows that. But I had no idea he would have lap dances because I thought I knew my husband and trusted him very much, too much.

Of course, I know this because he told me. When he told me I was furious, but he doesn't understand why I was so mad. He told me that I should be proud of him that he acted like a BOYSCOUT while he was in the nude bar. He just don't understand why I was mad at his action. I explained him why; still he doesn't get it.

Recently, we don't have arguments anymore. If we have an argument, I have to stop even if we didn't solve the problem. Because it is just like talking to the mirror.

I feel like I'm too new to this interracial relationship, or I don't know about American relationships, so I have to eat up all of Bob's theory of his action or mine too because he is American and we are living in America.

Bob tells me he's very happy with this marriage but I'm not. I am very conservative. Women are to obey men and follow them, that was the life of my mom, aunts and every women in Korea. I am not old-fashioned, but I still think I am not strong enough like other American women. I'd like to be more demanding and needy.

I'm trying to find a good marriage counselor and ask about this relationship or about me. I don't talk about my feeling to Bob anymore. It is very lonely feeling that I don't have anybody. I'd like to know about other wives who came from other countries and don't have their family with them other than their husbands.

This story contributed
via women.com





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