Q: Can you talk about her relationship with her mother?
A: Eleanor Roosevelt started off almost every early article she wrote, starting with, "My mother was the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen." And I think her life was a constant and continual and lifelong contrast with her mother. And she never thought that she was attractive. She never thought that she was really sufficiently appealing. And I think her whole life was a response to her effort to get her mother to pay attention to her, to love her, and to love her as much as she loved her brothers. She writes that one of the moments that she felt most useful was when her mother had a headache, and she would stroke her head and rub her forehead. And I think Eleanor Roosevelt’s entire life was dedicated to two things: (one) making it better for all people, people in trouble and in need, like her family. I mean, her father was an alcoholic, and her mother was the suffering wife of a man who she could never predict what he would do, where he would be, who he would be. And it’s sort of interesting because Eleanor Roosevelt never writes about her mother’s agony. She only writes about her father’s agony. But her whole life is dedicated to making it better for people in the kind of need and pain and anguish that her mother was in.
Her mother died at the age of 29, essentially turning her face to the wall and deciding to die. And so we can only imagine the agony she felt. And Eleanor Roosevelt really wanted to make her mother happier, and—and to make her live, you know, make her want to live. And there’s something about, you know, when your mother dies, this sense of abandonment. I think Eleanor Roosevelt had a lifelong fear of abandonment and sense of abandonment after her parents’ death.
Q: It’s striking in her writings, the lack of response to her mother’s death.
A: I think that, very often there’s a pain that’s just too painful to touch. You’ll break apart. And I think her mother’s death and disappearance and abandonment was something she just never could deal with. Eleanor Roosevelt, when she’s really very unwell in 1936, she takes to her bed. She has a mysterious flu. And during the campaign of 1936, she writes that she and her brother would always rather be out doing things when they’re sick, rather than take to their beds. And I think Eleanor Roosevelt always responded to pain by doing more, by doing something, by being active. And I think she just couldn’t bear to look at her childhood grief. And she didn’t.
back to Interview Transcripts | next
|
