Q: Talk about her relationship with her father, up to the time of the death.
A: Her father was the love of her life. Her father always made her feel wanted, made her feel loved, where her mother made her feel, you know, unloved, judged harshly, never up to par. And she was her father's favorite, and her mother's unfavorite. So her father was the man that she went to for comfort in her imaginings. And in her letters, she writes the most, you know, fanciful letters: when we are together, and when we are reunited, and you know, I will be your surrogate wife. Of course she doesn't use that word, but I will be the mother to my brothers, and I will be your primary love.
And I think Eleanor Roosevelt always had a most incredible comfort writing letters. I mean, she was in the habit of writing letters. And that's where she allowed her fantasies to flourish. That's where she allowed her emotions to really evolve. And that's where she allowed herself to express herself really fully, and sometimes whimsically, very often romantically. And it really starts with her letters to her father, who is lifelong her primary love.
Q: And the reality of her father was?
A: Well, the reality of her father was that he was a very diseased alcoholic, who died at the age of 34. And one always has to pause to wonder how much you have to drink to die at 34. And he was a really tragic father. I mean, he was absolutely unreliable. He was absolutely involved with various people. He had outside families, outside children, outside wives. He made his wife's life miserable. And she ignored all of his faults and retained this sense of him as the perfect father. It's interesting to me that really one of the first things she did as First Lady was to collect her father's letters and publish a book called The Letters of My Father, essentially, hunting big game, The Letters of Elliott Roosevelt. And it really was an act of redemption, really one of her first acts of redemption as she entered the White House. She was going to redeem her father's honor. And publishing his letters, reconnecting with her childhood really fortified her to go on into the difficult White House years.
A: He was the most exciting figure in her life. I mean, he rode to the hounds. He took her on very fast rides through Central Park. And he loved her. He loved her unconditionally. So when she accompanied him to his club and he disappeared for a drink, and that drink lasted all afternoon in the dark, she's still waiting for him, standing alone outside the club. You know. A doorman walks her home. But she never criticizes him. She refers to his great generosity of heart. She refers to how he, as an adolescent, gave his coat to a child who was cold. And she finds all of his really positive qualities, to encourage her, to model herself on: great generosity of spirit. And she completely ignores his other qualities. And it's that sense that she had of unconditional love from her father that gave her spirit, courage, a sense of lifelong encouragement, and also entitlement to love.
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