How to talk with kids about violent images of Charlie Kirk’s killing

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• Geoff Bennett:

  Let's turn now to real questions about how to talk about this political violence and the concerns around graphic and violent images tied to Charlie Kirk's murder that kids of all ages may have seen in the past couple of days.

  During this morning's press conference, Utah Governor Spencer Cox said he was concerned about what people were exposed to already.

• Gov. Spencer Cox (R-UT):

  We are not wired as human beings biologically, historically, we have not evolved in a way that we are capable of processing those types of violent imagery. This is not good for us. It is not good to consume.

  Social media is a cancer on our society right now. And I would encourage — again, I would encourage people to log off, turn off, touch grass, hug a family member. Go out and do good in your community.

• Geoff Bennett:

  Within hours of Kirk's death, videos of the shooting had been seen over 40 million times combined on TikTok, Instagram, and X.

  Parents and caregivers have been grappling with how to talk to their kids about all of this. We spoke today with some parents and teens about those concerns. Here's some of what they told us.

• Mo Damtew, High School Senior:

  I'm Mo Damtew. I am a high school senior from Portland, Oregon.

  I got to see the video, but the close-up video without any warning or anything. So it was the — like, the most horrifying thing I ever has happened in my life. The gunshot kind of came in. And just seeing the blood pour out was really horrifying. And, yes, I did not expect — I wasn't warned on the graphic nature of the video.

  So it was really surprising and really horrifying to see.

• Keith Hanssen, Parent:

  We saw it from many different angles. It's very graphic and it's disturbing, even for me being almost 60 years old.

• Sarah Hanssen, College Freshman:

  It was just really hard to go online without seeing it. And I think I'm kind of desensitized to some things like that already, just because of how many times we read about things like school shootings and murders and stuff.

• Keith Hanssen:

  My name is Keith Hanssen. I live in Montana. I'm 59 years old, and this is my daughter, Sara. She's 18.

• Sarah Hanssen:

  I feel like I have to step away from social media for a little bit if it's going to keep showing me that video. I still want to be able to have feelings seeing something like that happened to somebody. And it's a little discerning to me how I don't feel anything anymore when I see that video.

• Quillin Musgrave, Parent:

  I'm Quillin Musgrave. I'm the parent of two kids age 14 and 7, and we live in Richmond, Virginia.

  These kids, they have seen so much. And the things that they have seen happening and unfolding live or seeing the aftermath of events that have happened, I don't know that this video, again, is the one thing that's triggering the most harm. I just — I feel like it's a culmination of this over time.

• Carla Spears, Parent:

  I'm Carla Spears. I'm the mom of a 17-year-old and 16-year-old here in Midland, Michigan.

  Definitely, they feel fear. They worry that their own opinions will make them targets, even if it's just bullying among their peers. I know that it makes them hesitant to really share. As a parent, I feel worried about the world that my kids are getting ready to be adults in. You know, they're thinking of college, thinking of jobs, and I do worry about them.

• Geoff Bennett:

  To help get perspective on how to deal with this, we're joined now by Tori Cordiano, a clinical psychologist specializing in children and adolescence.

  Welcome back to the "News Hour." We're grateful to have you with us.

• Dr. Tori Cordiano, Clinical Psychologist:

  Thank you for having me. Geoff Bennett: So, when children and teens are exposed to a graphic video like this, what's the first thing a parent should do in response?

• Dr. Tori Cordiano:

  Well, assuming that your child or teenager has actually shared with you that they saw it, it gives you an opening to provide some validation for how they're feeling and some support.

  So you can start with checking in about how it felt to see that, what thoughts they had, how they're doing now, keeping in mind that most kids and teenagers don't want to spend too much time in that conversation. But what we're doing there is opening the door to let them know that this is a safe place to be talking about what they experienced.

• Geoff Bennett:

  How would a parent know if a child has seen the video if that child doesn't bring it up directly?

• Dr. Tori Cordiano:

  I think, with this specific incident, if you have an older teenager, you can assume that there is a decent possibility that they have seen it or at least seen part of it. That's not going to be true for every teenager, but this spread very quickly, and the images are very graphic.

  So, checking in with your teenager, especially your older teenager, about if they had heard or seen anything about this, because some kids, especially slightly younger kids, may have seen it without realizing what they were looking at, at first, without searching it out, and then be holding onto this feeling that they have done something wrong by seeing it or by stumbling into this.

  So we want to make sure that kids know of any age, if they see anything disturbing online, that parents are the people that they should be coming to, to talk about that.

• Geoff Bennett:

  But what are effective ways to help children process disturbing or frightening content they might have seen online or on TV?

• Dr. Tori Cordiano:

  So, the first thing that we can think about is to validate whatever emotional reaction they're having to this.

  So, some kids can feel a sense of shock. Some kids don't have a clear sense of what they have seen, if what they have seen is actually real, if it's A.I., if they can trust what they have seen. This particular video is so graphic that I have heard from some kids that it almost — it felt hard to even know what they were looking at.

  So that can result in an immediate feeling of shock. It can result in worry. It can result in fear. It can result in a delayed emotional reaction and a little bit of numbness at first. So, just to know that, however they are experiencing it, if it's sticking with them in a big way, if they were able to see it and then move on, there is no one way that we expect kids to act when they have viewed something like this.

  And so we want to convey that to them, that however they're feeling is understandable and OK.

• Geoff Bennett:

  What do we know about the psychological effects on children of witnessing violent imagery even through a screen?

• Dr. Tori Cordiano:

  It's very difficult to talk about it in terms of one specific outcome. Kids are very different. It depends on their developmental stage. It depends on their age. It depends on how much of it they have taken in and their previous history with any sort of trauma, violence, anxiety, things like that, that can make it harder for them to experience that.

  What we do know is that viewing that sort of violence for anybody, especially for kids and teenagers, it creates an emotional reaction in us. And, again, that can look a lot of different ways, but we assume that, especially in the short term, that kids will be affected by viewing that kind of content online.

• Geoff Bennett:

  For older kids who are active on social media, is there any practical way to limit their exposure to graphic or violent content, knowing that filters don't always catch everything?

• Dr. Tori Cordiano:

  Yes, I think honest conversations with kids about that they may not always be able to predict when a video like this will come up in their feed or when somebody tips their phone toward them and tells them to take a look at this thing that they're viewing. So they can't always keep themselves protected from that.

  That's important to say, because sometimes kids can feel a sense of guilt or responsibility for having seen this, even if they hadn't meant to. Beyond that, checking in with kids about how they're feeling afterward can give them good guidance about how to move forward.

  So, for example, if they had a strong reaction to this, reminding them that not seeking this out more, not taking in more of this content, although they may feel a curiosity or some desire to do so, that we know that them taking steps to limit it — and that might mean taking breaks from their app, it might mean blocking certain sites or certain places where this can come up, and turning more to conversations that they can have in real time.

  That can be with parents. It can be with their friends. I know this is happening in a lot of classrooms in high schools this week, where we're creating space for actual conversation about what has happened.

• Geoff Bennett:

  And, lastly, what are some signs that a child might be struggling in the days or weeks after seeing this video, or, frankly, just living in this fraught moment?

• Dr. Tori Cordiano:

  So things we would be looking for are any disruptions to their normal routines, their normal way of going about life. So if you are seeing that they are having more difficulty falling asleep at night, if they are complaining of more difficulty concentrating or focusing, certainly if they are expressing that this is sticking with them, but kids, especially younger kids, might not be able to put that into words, anything that tells you that their anxiety is heightened in a more ongoing way.

  For younger kids and even middle schoolers, that can look like difficulty separating or wanting to stay closer to home, more seeking reassurance, and then, again, those disruptions to the routines that would let us know that this is still on their mind in a more disruptive way.

• Geoff Bennett:

  Tori Cordiano, this is most helpful. We're deeply appreciative. Thank you.

• Dr. Tori Cordiano:

  Thank you.

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