Teens reflect on how social media nearly ruined their friendship

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• Anma Nawaz:

  The addictive nature of social media doesn't just have parents, lawmakers, and advocates worried.

  Last year, more than half of U.S. teens said it would be difficult to give up social media, including TikTok and YouTube. The latest episode of our Student Reporting Labs series Moments of Truth tells the story of one teen named Connor, who faced this dilemma head-on with Instagram.

• Gus, Student:

  When I first saw you over Zoom, I was like, wow, that guy looks kind of interesting.

  And then I just remember standing next to you in choir every day. Due to proximity, we just became friends.

• Connor, Student:

  Yes, I was kind of experiencing this weird great loneliness period in my life. I'm diagnosed with bipolar and OCD. And I think I was going through a rough patch at the time.

  So that friendship was almost like of holy stature. I started like relying on you to make it through the day. We started sharing locations around them.

• Gus:

  I could kind of see the obsession starting. I remember getting like super worried about you. And I wanted to help you, but I didn't know how.

• Connor:

  I had kind of a lack of self-control. Like, I would repeatedly check, and check and check.

  The accessibility that the Internet has to kind of enable that really did not help. And I don't think that a 15-year-old kind of had that self-control.

• Gus:

  You were D.M.ing me like every hour about like how sucky everything was. It was kind of unwelcome. Since it was so frequent and so often, I gave like one-word responses and stuff, and I was also going through a lot at that point in time.

  It had really just become a lot to handle, like the problems of two people.

  I came up to you. I told you that I was — I needed to distance myself from this relationship that we had.

• Connor:

  So when we weren't talking, I tried not to really open Instagram that much. I learned to practice self-control, because the thing is, if I allow myself to consistently check the locations and consistently check the little active thing on Instagram D.M., then I know I'm going to spiral.

  And once I'm in that obsessive state, it's hard to get out of it. Now that at least I'm less connected, there's more of an open space for us.

• Gus:

  We just go on walks. We go to Goodwill sometimes.

• Connor:

  When someone's actions and what someone's doing is accessible to you at all times, I don't think that's how humanity is intended to be.

• Gus:

  It's unnatural.

• Connor:

  It's unnatural for you to have access to what someone's doing all the time. It's also a sign that maybe you're focusing on that person more than yourself.

• Gus:

  I am just grateful it worked out, I think, and how stable our relationship is. It's been a ride.

• Connor:

  A beautiful ride.

• Gus:

  Yes.

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