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At the moment we are privy to in the Eastman painting (pictured left),
we see the young man’s first moment of success in
his courtship of the young woman. She is shown attentive,
and definitely interested. Had he not been a success,
the woman would have simply ignored him by walking past
him, or else discouraged him by insuring that her chaperone
showed up to interrupt the scene. Instead, she is encouraging
him by listening. The next step in the courtship would
have entailed the young man leaving gifts in front of
the young woman’s tipi or lodge. The idea was to
show that how much he valued her, and, just as importantly,
to demonstrate that he could care for her, and by extension,
her family.
The basic aim of a Dakota life was to become as good
a relative as one could be, and this was an essential
requirement of a good husband. The husband generally became
a member of his wife’s family and band, rather than
the wife following her husband elsewhere. This is an echo
of the matriarchal nature of Dakota society at large.
He did not necessarily have to be a member of the band
his potential wife was from, or, after the Dakota people
came into contact with white people, necessarily be born
a Dakota person, but he did need to exhibit that desire
to become a good relative.
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