My husband, an only child and I cared for my in-laws for the last 10 years of their lives. I was a year-round elementary principal with over a 1000 students and no administrative help in the building. I finally had to give up my principalship, take a few months off, recoup and come back in lesser jobs in my district. My mother-in-law was in moderate to late stage dementia, and my father-in-law a injectable diabetic. The stress of caring for her on him sent him to the hospital, as well, and she died two weeks later. We had dad on a feeding tube in our home while we both worked full time. He died nine months later.
When I had my 30 years in I retired, but I haven't fully recovered. I have no regrets, but I will not do what my in-laws did to us. I will sell my home before I become too frail to care for it. I will not be afraid of moving into housing where I can manage or get assistance without burdening my children unduly. We have both purchased long term care insurance, and hope our kids will have better lives, better health and happier memories of our final years than we did of their paternal grandparents.
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