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You talked about the control aspect of grandparents dangling the possibility of money.  Also, think of it the other way, the control aspect of parents who can threaten to withhold the grandchildren, to cut them off if they don't get what they want.

Well, this is a huge problem in our society, especially since now the reason that people stay connected to their parents is based on whether or not they felt like they did a good job.  Again, there's not the same obligational relationship around money and respect that there were in prior generations.  So if an adult child feels like you did a lousy job with me growing up, then it's very common these days for the adult child to cut off that parent.  Not only from them as the adult child, but also from the grandchildren.  And I can tell you and you can all imagine as grandparents, there's nothing more painful for these grandparents.  I get letters and calls from people all around the country and these grandparents are in enormous pain because they've been cut off not only from their children, but from their grandchildren.