Expressing Your Love in a Sacred Marriage Ceremony This Emotional Life - PBS

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  Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway

Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway's Bio

Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway is a leading interfaith and non-denominational wedding officiant.

Expressing Your Love in a Sacred Marriage Ceremony


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Every time I officiate at a wedding ceremony I am awed by the extraordinary energy that becomes available when two people in love literally step up to commit themselves to sacred union.  Because I am frequently called upon to solemnize marriage vows outside of traditional religious settings, I have seen time and again that a holy temple can be created anywhere love is present.

All wedding ceremonies have a rhythm, and a life, of their own. The energy comes alive as the bride makes her walk to the altar and builds like a symphony with each segment of the ceremony. By the time vows are exchanged, it is as if the heavens open to rain love upon the gathering. Couples can seize the opportunity to unite not just their hearts, lives and families, but to unite their very beings.

Although many of us grew up attending traditional weddings, in churches, synagogues and temples, in recent years we have seen the emergence of a new type of wedding – one where couples marry outside of a formal house of worship. This has become increasingly common as more interfaith and intercultural couples marry and as more couples opt for ceremonies that are non-traditional, personal, and unique. Whether they include religious traditions or not, most couples want their ceremony to be sacred.

The concept of the sacred marriage or sacred love ceremony originated with the ancients, who typically enacted annual ceremonies to bring fertility and prosperity. Many cultures enacted or emulated sexual rites between God and Goddess, or between the Gods and a human who “impersonated” a deity. The Greeks called it Hieros Gamos. Many mythologies describe it as a marriage between heaven and earth. In ancient Egypt, the marriage between Isis and Osiris was considered sacred union of heaven and earth, of yin and yang, and of the feminine and the masculine principles.

In the Hindu tradition, man and woman came to the wedding altar as God and Goddess in human form. To this day, in many parts of India, the bride is looked upon as Goddess Lakshmi (who rules abundance, prosperity and beauty) and the groom as Lakshmi’s consort, Lord Vishnu (the Great Preserver, and a God who incarnated as Krishna).

The Celtic tradition brought forth one of the most widely practiced forms of sacred ceremony today -- the hand fasting. It was once a form of “engagement” that committed couples for a year and day. If they found themselves well-suited to one another, they’d marry. It grew into a self-initiated ceremony couples would conduct in the days before there was such as thing as a wedding officiant.  The custom is still widely practiced in the Pagan community, often presided over by a High Priestess and High Priest to represent male and female energies. (One of them has to be a clergy registered to perform legal marriages or the couple must have a civil ceremony in addition).

Many couples relish the idea of a memorable and special sacred ceremony – but they want to tread lightly on some of the traditions and trimmings that relatives with strong religious beliefs would find upsetting or offensive. They also want ceremonies that are welcoming to loved ones and can easily include the participation of friends and family.

The modern sacred love wedding ceremony is one that has to be crafted by and for each individual couple. It’s rarely something you can just pull out of a book. It’s personalized, and has to include elements that will help that couple truly seize on the energy of the moment – such as creating a sanctified space that is like a sacred container for their love and vows.

 It can be a groom in a tux and a bride in white who walks down the aisle, or a shoeless couple on a beach. It can contain elements or rituals of existing traditional or non-traditional ceremonies; it can include any religious, spiritual, cultural or family traditions the couple chooses. The main ingredient is their love and their conscious intent to express that love to one another – and share it with their community –in a way that is holy and sacred to them personally.

In sacred love ceremonies, the emphasis is on an even greater spiritual connection between the couple. The couple is encouraged and empowered to see their own divinity and the divine light within each other.  That’s why it is so important to fully utilize the wedding ceremony as not just the start of the big wedding celebration, but as a true rite of passage that takes bride and groom to the next level of their love and gives their relationship a strong foundation to build on over time.

Every wedding is a sacred event that holds profound meaning and potential for the two who come before Divine Spirit and witnesses to declare their love. The sacred love ceremony gives marriage an extraordinary start.

 

Adapted from Your Interfaith Wedding: A Guide to Blending Faiths, Cultures and Personal Values into One Beautiful Wedding Ceremony