I was a happy, social child who enjoyed telling stories to others in the orphanage. I led my peers, took care of the younger children, and helped the bomos serve the food. At the age of six, I was sent to Illinois to be adopted by an American family.

I remeber the orphanage - the games we played, the box of cookies we received for Christmas, the assembly line method of bathing, the shoes outside our room. I remember leaving the orphanage with a woman. My airplane date was May 14, 1974.

We rode on a bus and ate a nice bun with brown stuff on the inside. I thought the airport was my home becuase it was a long way from the orphanage. I ran around the circular furniture and drank from the water fountain with the other kids. Little did I know that I was still half a world away.

I remember sleeping on the airplane and looking down at the clouds outside.

I saw my new family as I walked off the airplane at O'Hare International Airport. On the drive home, I sat in the middle in the back. My adoptive brother and sister gave me their Asian dolls in addition to the one I already had. This made me cry. My mother reached for me to sit with her in the front seat, but my brother crawled over me and ended up siting with her. I entered the house and jumped in the air when a dog barked at me. I think someone either scooped me up or caught me at that point.

I suppose this is probably a typical introduction of an adoptee. Hopefully, the rest of my story is more of an exception to the norm. I was not a good fit for this family.

I was an ambitious child. I learned English quickly and forgot Korean just as quickly. I entered kindergarten about 3 months after I arrived. I had my struggles but excelled out of the home. I was usually the teachers' favorite. I received excellent grades and was very athletic.

I was an obedient child, unlike my brother and sister. Our parents both worked, so we were left with a lot of domestic repsonsibilities. I took it upon myself to be obedient to my parents' instructions and had to encourage my brother and sister to do the same. I dreamed of having a family like The Brady Bunch where they ate together & talked together.

My parents were not affectionate and spent most of their time at home in their bedroom. Somehow my brother and sister were more welcome in their bedroom than I was. When I entered, we were told that it was too crowded. We were told to leave. Of course, I was obedient and left. My brother and sister stayed. That left me outside and all of them inside. Also, my bedroom was the only one downstairs. I felt left out and unloved.

I started to develop a tremendous temper. I fought quite a bit with my brother and sister, mostly about them not doing their fair share around the house. I felt like I was being treated very unfairly but was not able to articulate it. I asked my parents to seek counseling for all of us, but my mother was admantly against it.

When I was 14, my father came to school to take me to counseling. My mother was to meet us there. We met at the Department of Children's Services. They left me there to be taken to a girls home. I have not seen them since. They quickly made me a ward of the state and terminated the adoption.

My mother's only sibling, my uncle, found out what had happened and took me home. I stayed with him and his wife, my aunt. My grandparents tried to adopt me but were told they were too old. My uncle and aunt, who had no other children, adopted me.

They divorced two years later. I stayed with my uncle. After high school, my uncle asked me to leave as he felt his responsibilities for me were fulfilled.

My grandparents passed away over a year ago, and I very much want to have a family of my own. I'd like to find "Mr. Right" and raise a family. I'd like to learn more about Korean culture and associate more with other Korean adoptees. I'd like to know more about my history and my birthparents.

Kyung Ae Lee is an adoptee.