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Related:

Dom & Tina - Dom's View

Preparing For a Life of Being "Us"

Closing the Age Gap

Journey to India and to Myself

Dialogue Excerpt: Lose your family or accept their narrow-mindedness?




Meeting Louisa

The ink on the letters I sent my family were barely dry when I met Louisa. I had just gone back to school to persue my passion of photography, which was separating me from my husband for 10 months. I would travel every weekend home. I was blissfully happy. I wrote, "I'm pursuing my dream career, I married 1 year ago my soul mate, life is grand."

I'll never forget when Louisa walked into that auditorium. I could not stop looking at her. Though I was aware of my "non-gender bias" if you will, I didn't know what it was that kept my attention on her. I felt like an idiot bending my neck to look at her. I refused to believe it was an attraction. But I was consumed with thinking of her.

I shared this with my husband. We were best friends of 6 years, and we were honest about everything. I had only had one girlfriend in my life. We dated for four years, and then I met my husband. I told him it brought up issues for me, and he said not to be concerned. But I was. I though of her often, and thought "I don't even know her. She could be a very dislikable person." But something in her eyes felt as though, well, I though she was the most beautiful person I ever met. I found myself sniffing the air around her. "What is the matter with me?" I kept thinking, "I am happily married!"

Well, with some research into reality, I discovered my marriage was not as blissful as I thought. After a few weeks my husband came to me to tell me he was sorry, he had not been as honest with me as he should have been. The marriage was over before it started. Hindsight is twenty-twenty. I look back now and see red flags screaming at me. But I did love him, and I was told you have to "work" in relationships. Nothing is perfect.

I met with Louisa over drinks one day after school, and told her about my crush on her, hoping if I put it out there we would have a laugh and I could get my focus back. She said defensively, "But you're over it, right?" And I told her my first and only lie. "Yep!" It cured me, I thought. Well, I discovered she felt the same and we have been inseparable ever since.

She became a fast friend that night, and I have loved her since the moment we first shared words. I have never felt more understood by someone in my life. She brings out the best in me! That is a wonderful feeling. It has been a tough road. My breakup was very painful. Someone I trusted with my life had been lying to me. It was difficult to believe again in someone. My family adored my husband. Many tears were shed when we split up from our friends and family. To the world who knew us, we were not going to become a statistic.

And now, being involved with a woman, my mother is concerned I have given up on men. My father thinks I need time for me and I rushed into this relationship. But I have never felt more free to pursue my dreams, and never met anyone more compatible to share my life with. It's hard to get stared at holding hands or showing any public affection, but we agree it is our responsibly to educate the public on same sex relationships.

I don't care what container my love comes in, Man or Woman. I have been very comfortable with my sexuality, but uncomfortable with the stereotypes and misconceptions. We approach our relationship in a very matter of fact, natural way, and usually that is how it is received. We have a challenging life ahead of us.

Our families are supportive, but under that support you know they will always quietly wish we would meet men, because life would be "easier." Such a crazy notion to me. It really is all based on the individual. We plan to fight for the same respect and equality as anyone in this country. If not for us, at least for future generations. We cannot understand all the hype. Who cares who we love? It's so much more important that the relationship we have is healthy. She makes me laugh; she's reminded me to be adventurous, and to live in the moment. I hope I can/have taught her half of what she has taught me!





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