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Related:

Dom & Tina - Dom's View

Meeting Louisa

Closing the Age Gap

Journey to India and to Myself

Dialogue Excerpt: Lose your family or accept their narrow-mindedness?




Preparing For a Life of Being "Us"

I guess you could say that at this point, Bill and I are in the middle of our story. We are preparing for marriage and are excited just like any other engaged couple within 3 months of the big day. However, our preparation for marriage also includes another kind of preparation -- a preparing for how we will continue to deal with life and the world as an interracial couple.

Bill and I met in a high school where race mattered, but everyone pretended it didn't. Bill's mother worked in the school system, and one of my strongest memories is when one of our teachers told her that she should "forewarned about this (meaning, our relationship), because it could be a 'problem'". We never found out who that teacher was, and from our daily relationships with our teachers, we realized it could have been any of them, or none of them. Racism was clearly the non-issue issue.

Going to college together was certainly taking the easy way out, both in terms of living together, and facing the racism together in the so-called "real world". In the first few days of college, I noticed interracial couples, but they never felt they were part of a social anomaly, which I guess was great for them, but confused me, because Bill and I had experienced that difference, and lived it whenever we were out in public together. We started going to a discussion group that focused itself around interracial and biracial people -- black and white, Asian and white, multiethnic children. But I guess it became overkill after time, and we stopped going. We just wanted to be "us" and not have to force others to accept us. Acceptance should really be a natural thing.

Like I said in the beginning, we are engaged now, and are dealing with the important people in our lives reactions to our impending marriage. Bill's mother has finally shown her true colors in completely isolating us from her life. I am basically a devil to her child, her only son, because of my not-so-dark African American skin. Her son should marry someone in his realm -- a Slovak woman -- so I have been told she feels. But I feel he is marrying someone in his realm -- an intelligent woman who completely loves and respects him. You see, my world with Bill extends farther than the color of our skins, but unfortunately, his mom's world stops there.

We love each other unconditionally and without limits -- love is indeed a process, not a destination. We will not allow race to control how our lives are lived, and how much we enjoy life. And with the love of God with us, we know our love is here to stay.





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