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Video | Sex Education in the Islamic Republic

10 Sep 2011 22:44Comments

Ershad-sanctioned guide to good sex: the best perfume, joking around, movement.

[ spotlight ] This recently issued instruction video, with explicit references to relations between the sexes and tips for pleasurable love making, received permits from the Ministry of Culture and Islamic Guidance, and also from the Ministry of Health and Human Services. As Mardomak, the website that first posted the DVDs, put it, it's probably the first of its kind in the Islamic Republic.

The choice of music is interesting: Richard Strauss' symphonic poem Also sprach Zarathustra, composed during 1896 and inspired by Friedrich Nietzsche's philosophical treatise of the same name -- "with all its Nietzsche 'Superman' undertones," our Tehran correspondent points out. It was popularized by Stanley Kubrick's 1968 film 2001: A Space Odyssey, "and something Iranians may associate with sporting and other 'dramatic events', anything associated with crossing the finish line," the correspondent said. "I believe the BBC used it in its coverage of the 'Apollo' moon landings."

Animation, which includes flowers, is supposed to illustrate how a fetus is conceived. The film then quotes a hadith from Prophet Muhammad: "At home a woman should wear the best perfume to smell good, put on her best clothes and best makeup, and every morning and night present herself to her husband for sleeping with him." The documentary is chiefly narrated by Dr. Mohammad Majd, who is a psychiatrist at the University of Tehran medical school, and includes occasional contributions by two others.

Majd begins by assuring viewers that the instructions are based on text books, the teachings of the Prophet, and Iranian tradition and culture. He then warns that anything that disturbs normal functions in a human being, such as depression, anxiety, anger or suspicion, also affects sexual relations between a man and woman. A well covered woman then talks about a woman's menstrual cycle, followed by Majd's description of how a fetus is conceived. It then quotes another hadith from the Prophet, this time addressing the men: "Just as you like your wife to look good and prepare herself for your pleasure, you men should also prepare yourselves for their use [in sexual relations]." The female narrator then recommends that the couple wash their sexual organs and make use of the restroom beforehand to decrease the chances of the woman contracting an infectious disease.

Then the main part of the education begins. Majd says that sex should take place in a pleasant environment. Therefore,

the use of perfume and makeup is a must. Men should do more to prepare themselves, because 'we men are different from women in terms of, for example, the way our body smells, and if we take a shower we will be clean, and then makeup for our face and body is necessary so that the woman feels like sleeping with us.'

The documentary then quotes Imam Ja'far Sadegh, Shiites' 6th Imam, who said that, "Before intercourse, joke and play around with your spouse, because these things make intercourse pleasurable."

Majd then says that the next step is the "readiness" stage:

The readiness comes about by kissing, touching and expressing love to each other. Kissing could be long. It [kissing] is a beautiful contact; continue it for several seconds. The kissing should be accompanied by the touching of the woman by her favorite man, i.e., her husband. Touching should be very tender and delicate. You cannot use force to touch! [As Majd presses and twists his hands together, he says 'this is squeezing, not touching.'] Do it on [touch] her face, cheeks and neck, and everywhere else [necessary]. According to our religious teachings, the touching should be according to the woman's taste. That means the woman tells you where to touch. So don't touch everywhere without reason! Remember that the sensitivity of skin to touching changes [on from day to day]. Do not touch the same place all the time. If you touch her neck tonight, touch her back tomorrow night, and then somewhere else the night after that. Use your tongue to touch her. In particular, listen guys, the skin behind the ears, around the ears, neck, and chin are the most sensitive in a woman. These things are good introductory work for a woman to achieve orgasm faster, because it takes women longer to have orgasm. For men, everything in love making is exciting, kissing, touching, anything, and he may have several orgasms during the foreplay. That is no problem, because then it will take him longer to have orgasm during intercourse.

After the preparatory steps, the intercourse begins with the two facing each other. Do not move [for a few seconds]. Only the sexual organs of the two should face each other. We call the contact [intercourse] "stop and start," meaning begin [moving], then stop, and begin again. Then, you start the slow motion of "coming and going" in the intercourse and during this you again stop and then go. The stop should last one second, and then move again. Stop again, and move again. The most important aspect of this part is that the motion should be mutual, meaning that the woman should also move. Both man and woman should move. You both have mechanical movement together. It should not be like the woman is just on her back and only the man is moving. God tells us that, "movement from you, blessing from me." If you women want to have orgasm, you need to move during intercourse. We also have what we call "sex sounds," meaning that during intercourse the couple exchanges romantic words. Then, satisfaction comes when the man ejaculates his sperm and the woman [almost] faints. The number one sign that this has happened is that the "sex sound" stops. She becomes silent. The second sign is that she becomes sleepy. The third sign is that she becomes heavier. Try to lift your woman after sex, and you can see that she feels heavier. This is a good sign, indicating that she has been satisfied. The next sign is that she becomes red in certain places. The redness is like blushing; [areas] around the neck, face and abdomen become red.

The film emphasizes that, "the sensitive part of a woman's body should be stimulated by her husband in order to have better intercourse," and lists the sensitive parts. Majd also has advice for premature ejaculation,

Right now in 2010 [when the documentary was made], we do not have a clear definition of premature satisfaction [orgasm]. Sometimes, after we examine both a man and woman and find them healthy [but the man still has premature ejaculation], we recommend more frequent intercourse, for example, twice a night, or four times a night. When the number of intercourse increases, the man takes longer to have orgasm.

Then, Dr. Saeed Momtazi, a psychiatrist and assistant professor, expands on the theme of premature orgasm. He says that,

sometimes [as is widely believed in Iran] if a man takes narcotics, it solves the problem [of premature ejaculation] a couple of times; but there are better ways of addressing the problem. In addition, such solutions are illegal, aside from causing addiction [to the narcotics].

They list cigarettes, tobacco, alcohol, narcotics and any pill that changes the mental state as being harmful to sex, so much so that it destroys sexual power over time. Watching pornographic scenes and movies for sexual stimulation is also warned against: "Watching such movies can become addictive, as well as distracting a man during the day from his normal routine by his focus on sex, so that in addition to his own wife, he may pay more attention to the women around him."

Then Majd finishes by saying,

During our childhood we were told that men are like this or than and made us feel bad about sex. They also scared us about sexual intercourse, and made it a frightening experience, which may cause sexual frigidity. The pain that some women feel during intercourse is imaginary. Intercourse is not painful. We do not have any nerves in our sexual organs for feeling pain. In women, sexual frigidity is treatable. Men may have two problems. One is that they cannot have an erection, and the second one is premature ejaculation. We have instruments that give men an erection that you can keep in your bedroom.

Copyright © 2011 Tehran Bureau

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